Hand hold pls - think I'm watching my mother die

[RogerAllamsFangirl]

Sitting in a side room on a hospital ward. She's struggling to breathe and clammy and cold. I was here earlier and went home but the nurse rang me to tell me to come over.

Tbh, watching her like this, I think that death, when it comes, will come as a friend.

I meant me, DP...... and not in front of my auld man!

I feel I've rather killed what was a lovely thread!

It’s your thread OP, say whatever you like.

No, you haven't. I think people may be trying to gauge where you're at and wonder what's appropriate to say? Because one goes through every emotion in grieving, and it's hard for outsiders to know what you need. But say whatever you need to, OP.

Don't be upset about the dinosaur Roger, try to think of it as your Mum being able to give and exchange pleasure and comfort until very close to the end of her life.

Surely thats a good thing, and shows how caring and loving she was?

Take care of yourself, kindest thoughts to you.

You really haven't killed it, Roger. I have an even more bonkers one around the time of my dad's death which I can't share cos it's too outing. You're not alone.

Sorry I went away. To be clear, I found Dinogate hilarious. The only sad thing was the feeling that Mum would piss herself when I fold her - oh.

Venting is to do with Mum's OH who is driving me mad. I can't really go int detail but he's being a fecking PITA.

Funeral arranged. I think my family are going to be upset that I've rushed into it and it's not going to be big/nice enough. It's at a slightly small crem and it's not desperately nice; it's ok. Mum suggested having it there (in a letter that made me bawl) because it would be easiest but I feel I've slightly copped out.

*Told her

Take doing it the easy way really seriously. It'll be a God send. You won't have the time or energy for anything complicated. If people who loved her are there, then it will be lovely.

One thing I've discovered with the funerals I've had to arrange, is that however carefully you try to be considerate, you can never please everyone and someone will always tell you what you did wrongly.
So you might as well please yourself and do things in your own way.

If your mum suggested it then really you're just respecting her wishes rather than taking the easy option.
Emotions will be running high at the moment

I did this six months ago with my Mum. Thinking of you, it’s so very hard. I’m grieving hard now but I am so pleased I was able to be there like that. It is a significant comfort. Hang in there and tell her you love her regardless of whether you think she can hear or not