“My child is top of their class”

[BluthsFrozenBananas]

I see this on threads quite often, I just saw it on another thread. Or my child is on a higher book band than any other classmate, or is top in maths, and I wonder, how the hell do people know that?

My DD is in y6, at no time since she’s been in primary have I known her “ranking” in the class, or that of any other child. Neither did I have any idea what book band others were on in the days of reading books.

I get if your child is super bright and doing extension work far beyond their years you might assume they were “top” of the class, but even then surely it’s not a given as teachers don’t routinely give out information about other children’s accidemic achievements.

Or am I missing out on something and schools publish super secret league tables of children which only the parents of children at the top get to see?

I've been told that my friend's DD is working at a year ahead of mine because hers is in a Prep not state. LOL. LOL.

We were told that ds1 has the highest target grades in his year. This was part of a discussion about why his reports are a blaze of orange (below expectations) and red (well below expectations) even though he's apparently working really hard and making good progress. Whatever "top of the class" is, he's clearly not it.

DS was top of his class for maths in primary school. I knew this because he entered the primary maths challenge and scored the highest mark in the school for three years running (i.e. when he was in year 4 he came above all the year 6 kids).

Sorry to boast but it's kind of inevitable on this thread!

My DS, in year 8 is in the top stream for maths, and that's all I know. He's in the local comp in Wales. I don't even know if there are streams for English and Science, and I only found out there were three maths group levels last week.
I know he's always been bright and done well through primary school, but I've never had any idea whether he was top or not in anything unless he told me occasionally that he'd had the highest mark in some test or other that day.
The only other way I know vaguely that he's above average generally is the results of those yearly reading, writing and numeracy national tests, where they put a cross to indicate which box they're in. He seems to hover near the top of the 'above average' box mostly, sometimes pops above it into the 'greater than 140/off the scale/ can't measure it BUT THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOUR CHILD IS A GENIUS' category.

I've always taken results and tables with a pinch of salt, children can change so much from year to year that it's only a general indicator at best and try to avoid discussing results with other parents. It's too easy to sound like your're bragging just by even casually saying that your child did well. Perfect example, one mum posted a very gushy 'congratulations' message on Facebook for her own child (who was only 11, although he did have a FB account) for getting the highest mark in something or other. Cue several other mums gritting their teeth and saying it was ridiculous that was, it was just to let everyone else know how well he did, she lives with her child FFS, so why not just congratulate him personally, it was boasting etc etc.

She's a nice woman, but she is a prolific FB user so maybe to her it seemed entirely natural-I'm still not entirely sure if she realised how it came across!

I have a very bright child who has just started Year 7. At primary school she was pretty much near the top of her class, certainly in the top 3. How do I know this? Her teachers told us eg she was the only one to reach certain targets and so on.

I never discussed dd's achievements with any other parents. I do think the information was useful - dd was sitting for selective schools, some of which only take the top 5% or 10%. If you don't know where your child is in relation to his/her peers, how do you know if they have a chance of getting in?

Oh and as for the jealousy thing - I don't get it at all. Having a very bright child is not all it's cracked up to be. And I actually think middling ability children up happier in the long run.

My DC are at secondary school and the top-performing 3 in each form end of year exams get presented with a prize at junior prizegiving, and their names in the paper so everybody knows who is first second and third

When my DH started teaching he had to rank each student within each class, eg. Bloggs is 12th of 25 kind of thing. It went on the end of term report. I think they have only recently got rid of the actual number ranking, but the reports still usually say something like "Bloggs is in the middle of the pack in a very competitive group" or "Bloggs is performing well, but may struggle in the next set up."

Where l lived in the states the results were posted in the newspapers!
So, honor roll
High honor roll... if you weren’t on the list, then...
Also parents use bumper stickers that say:
proud parent of an honour roll student at blah blah high school
Haha

one mum posted a very gushy 'congratulations' message on Facebook for her own child (who was only 11, although he did have a FB account) for getting the highest mark in something or other. Cue several other mums gritting their teeth and saying it was ridiculous that was, it was just to let everyone else know how well he did, she lives with her child FFS, so why not just congratulate him personally, it was boasting etc etc.

Wow! Never understood why people get so bitchy about people FBing their DC's achievments.I love reading about people's successes!

Because the teachers are quite happy to tell me.

If your kid is not top of the class they won’t say anything about their placement within the class.

fruit posting this sort of stuff on FB is really tacky and cringy. We've all got so used to knowing every single detail about people's lives, bring back a bit of privacy.

You may 'love' reading about other people's successes but you'll survive without it. Ask your friends about their children's news and they'll tell you in person rather than posting it on SM for all and sundry to see.

I have to agree my DC does well academically but I would never throw it all over Facebook very very tacky.

Teachers at my child’s school would never ever compare or say who is the best in the class. It is likely rubbish.
Pretty average parents are often disproportionately impressed with average achievements.....sometimes (myself included) and think that their kids is doing better. It isn’t often the case.

Wow! Never understood why people get so bitchy about people FBing their DC's achievments.I love reading about people's successes!

I don't think it's bitchy. I think it just doesn't make sense. Why not just say it to them in person if you live with them. It's clearly to tell other people but they pretend it's not. Most of the ones I have seen are for children who don't have Facebook accounts, many to young to even read. My children, especially my eldest, would be mortified if I congratulated him on doing well at school on social media.

"Because the teachers are quite happy to tell me.

If your kid is not top of the class they won’t say anything about their placement within the class."

This is the logical equivalent of "my dog has fleas. If your pet doesn't have fleas, it can't be a dog."

Amazing how people with such genius children can't grasp that ALL teachers don't necessarily behave exactly like their own child's (possibly not very professional) teachers.

I find it exasperating that, despite lots of PPs stating perfectly reasonable reasons for their child falling into the so-called 'top of the class' bracket, certain posters continue to cry disbelief. I can only assume these posters don't have particularly academic children and can't imagine an alternative experience.

I get the impression that the vast majority of PPs with particularly academic children, myself included, would never use 'top of the class' type terminology, brag on FB, or mention it to other parents.

MixerUpper
I agree. I've never told a parent their child is top.
A child can be skilled and highly talented in many areas. It doesn't mean they are automatically the best in a subject, top of the class etc.

Pupils do roughly work out how they might compare to their peers but you'd be amazed how inaccurate their perceptions can be at times. Students think they're thick or stupid but are often far from it. Others love dwelling on their perceived brilliance when actually they're bright but not exceptional.

Personally, I'm not sure what teachers feel they achieve when they trot out statements like top of the class when the alternative is useful and constructive praise/constructive criticism.

It's parental perception and, of course, their child couldn't be any less than perfect on MN.

Teachers at my child’s school would never ever compare or say who is the best in the class. It is likely rubbish.

Why wouldn't they?

So let's say a child in year 2 is particularly clever in English and maths and has been working on the same stuff as the year 3s and has easily completed all the work.

Why would the teacher not mention this to the parents?

happinessischocolate
You would comment on how the child has excelled in x y z and needs to do X y z to make further progress. You focus on the learning and praise achievements, not make silly competitive references to other pupils.
And parents who are interested in their child's LEARNING rather than being able to gloat about how much their child is the best and even the teacher says they're the best tend to value constructive and useful feedback.

Where l lived in the states the results were posted in the newspapers!
So, honor roll
High honor roll... if you weren’t on the list, then...

Not to mention National Merit Semifinalist, National Merit Finalist, Presidential Award, etc.

No need to even put it on FB. The world can see if your kid is top of the class just by reading the paper.

DS's Yr 3 teacher told me he was second to top and obviously doing very well. I had an inkling as a) he found the homework super easy and b) kept moving up the spelling levels until he was with Yr 5 children for the weekly spelling tests. He also knew he was on the top tables.

Normal state primary.

Obviously I was pleased with this but apart from immediate family I just say (if asked) that he's doing really well.

He's also tall and slim . Can still be annoying as anything.....

Saying that one of his best friends really struggled academically. DS knew this but didn't care, they were still friends.