“My child is top of their class”

[BluthsFrozenBananas]

I see this on threads quite often, I just saw it on another thread. Or my child is on a higher book band than any other classmate, or is top in maths, and I wonder, how the hell do people know that?

My DD is in y6, at no time since she’s been in primary have I known her “ranking” in the class, or that of any other child. Neither did I have any idea what book band others were on in the days of reading books.

I get if your child is super bright and doing extension work far beyond their years you might assume they were “top” of the class, but even then surely it’s not a given as teachers don’t routinely give out information about other children’s accidemic achievements.

Or am I missing out on something and schools publish super secret league tables of children which only the parents of children at the top get to see?

The teacher tells you...

It doesn't necessarily mean they are #1 student in their class. That's a nonsensical statement anyway since it can vary from day to day. But when I was at school (2000s), "top of the class" would be used on occasion to refer to the students who were in the top sets, often got full marks, regularly got the highest (or one of the highest) marks on tests, etc. There was no ranking, but if the teacher tells you the highest mark on a test was 85% and they got 85%, it's not exactly a leap!

I have my dad's old school report book and it has all his test results and class ranking.

That was in the 1930s though.

This probably isn't relevant to many here but in some countries children have actual positions on their reports, either overall positions covering all subjects (primary school usually) or positions in each subject (secondary).

More annoying than hearing 'my child is top of the class' is "Straight A student" GRRR that expression really drives me bananas!!!

Dd is very good at maths, and anything pertaining to numbers and logic. She comes home with maths tests where she gets 100% and tells me how many the others got, and which ones they got wrong. I have asked her to stop doing this as I guess it pisses the other kids off.

I also have a lot of friends with children in her class and hear abour their woes or triumphs.

Plus her teacher recommended the scheme she is on where highly gifted kids can get extra cirricular tuition in areas that interest them. These recommendations are very rare as there are limited places. We‘re not in the uk.

Nothing here is a boast, just an explanation as to how we know she is top of her class in maths.

For the record, she is pretty average in language, dreadful at sport, and struggles a lot with social skills.

I have no idea about the other children in his class but my DS certainly isn't top! Considering he's in year 1 and he's a summer born so one of the youngest I wouldn't really expect him to be either.

His reading and maths are pretty much on target for his age so I'd say he's doing about average.

Every child is 'top if the class' on Mumsnet at least

Teacher told me at parents evening. I wouldn’t have known otherwise.

Further to the above, I have never actual uttered the phrase ‚top of her class‘ to anyone, here on in real life. It‘s totally irrelevant.

I've always known roughly where my kids are in their class because they say things which give it away. I've never looked in a book bag. They have a range of abilities btw. I'm wondering what kind of idiot says this, even if they know their kid is?!

(When I was at school, our positions in class - well the top 3 - were read out in assembly at the end of term! )

I know which kids are top in my son's yr5 class. He is one of them and he tells me who also does the same work. I don't hear his "position" from the teacher, but sometimes other parents talk about things eg we realise not all have same spellings or HW.

Urgh. There’s a parent at school who likes to remind everyone this about her son. She made a big song and dance recently about his reading age being 5 years ahead of his actual age. I asked how she knew this as I was interested in seeing what DD’s is, she got him to do a test on Facebook. Meh. Scientific then.

Thing is, he’s a really bright boy. He is top of the class, did extra work with year 1 when they were in reception as he wasn’t challenged enough but he has no friends. He has no concept of playing together, DD doesn’t like to play with him as he only plays games where someone wins and then he cries if he doesn’t win. Understandable at some ages but not now they’re in year 4.

I bet they're also tall and slim and would rather have houmus than cake.

And always described as “very sensible”

Top of the class doesn't mean anything. If you're in a class with a high level of special needs children and you are average you will still be top of the class. If you're average and in a class with a high level of gifted children you will be in the bottom of the class.
The only way to to judge is the progress your child makes against themselves.

The other parents told me, because their children told them.

I wouldn't have said that to anyone, but dd (now 14) was objectively 'top of her class' in primary school.

I knew because they had very regular tests in reading, Maths and comprehension (every half term or so) and dd would always tell me her marks and the marks of her closest competitors on top table. She was always a few marks ahead of them and she got the highest marks in her SATS too.

It wasn't a boasting thing though - she was just quite competitive at that age and she always wanted to be top. Being at a selective secondary has put paid to that now. She's given up on the idea of ever being top in anything! That's not a bad thing, as I think kids need to learn to compete against themselves rather than others.

I know ds1 is one of the lowest attainers in his year group. I know ds2 is one of the highest. I couldn't tell you for sure where they come in any rankings, formal or otherwise, but I do know the difference between "struggles with, is challenged by, finds it difficult to" and "excels at, attains extremely highly in, demonstrates excellent understanding of".

And kids know. You can call the tables they sit at 'red, green, blue', but the kids soon learn that red group does the hardest work and blue the least hard. And the kids know which of the ones in red group gets the highest test scores and best feedback and gives the correct answers every time (and of course which of the ones in blue group struggle the most). Ds2 will candidly tell me "I am the best at Maths in my class and B is second best... B is better than me at English and it's between me and D for second best". (I have had the 'I am very proud of how hard you work and what you achieve at school, but I think it would be rude of you to say to your friends that you think you are The Best' talk with him and he definitely gets it.)

One of the arents of a child in DC class posted on FB about how far ahead their darling was than all the others in the class for reading. I noted them down as not only a twat but a fantasist as my DC had had the same reading book a few weeks before

In dds class everyone is secretive about what reading levels their child is at! DD was behind for a while before it clicked for her. People seem to actively hide their children's books! It's better than being competitive I suppose, but it's still weird.

When I was at school we had tests every week and a report at the end of each month that had our position in class written on it. On the day reports were given out, your name was called out and you had to go and stand at the front in order. (ie person who came first was called out first others lined up along beside them until you got to the person who was last - usually the same poor child). It was horrendous - but it was the 1960's - say no more !!

I have no idea if either of my children were top of the class or not, I never asked because I didn't care, as long as they did their best. My DD was in higher sets than my DS had been because she is more academic than him and he has dyslexia, but I assume he was considered pretty good at drama because he was always picked to be in school plays. I wouldn't have had a clue how well other people's children were doing. Never saw it as a competition, ad teachers never said anything (maybe if my kids had been top of the class teachers would have said, who knows ?)

I see it on here too and was reading the thread you're talking about.
Stealth boasters I think they're called

Our classes have dcs' photos showing which level they're on for literacy and maths, which surprises me. I know exactly where dd is in the class.

I bet they're also tall and slim and would rather have houmus than cake.

ROFL and look at how this thread has brought out all the not so stealth boasters

Parents generally that think their kid is top in the class are over invested and living vicariously through their kids. In my experience

You know the type - barge past others to rip open kids book bag to see Y2 spelling test results, quiz little Johnny when he’s round for a play date what he’s reading, grill own kid about what group they’re in and who else is in it every few weeks etc etc

when my dd was at school before parents evening you used to be able to look around the classroom and look in your child's books, unsupervised, there were a group of mums that would have a quick rifle through other children's books to benchmark their own kids crazy behaviour they caused a big argument between parents so the head stepped in and no more classroom visits