We've lived here for 4 years and we are by far the youngest people in our cud-d-sac. Very rural village.
Got on with her at the beginning - invites into our house for a brew; sorted out our party wall without asking her for a contribution; called in on her when we hadn't seen her for a while and lots of shopping (for which we asked no payment) during the snow when she wasn't happy about going out in the car. I also helped her with something at the Land Registry because she got a dodge phone call from someone about her house so I gave her some advice and did all that for free of course - I'm a solicitor btw.
There is a park just up the lane so the kids don't generally play anything in the garden save badminton and trampoline.
We perhaps have a ball go into her garden once every three months - I'm tell you think because if we were bothering her every day I'd see her point.
The last couple of times husband and kids (and on occasion our nanny) went around to get the ball she went inside and hid.
My husband then decided to lower our 9 yo into her garden to collect the balls for himself. There were about 4 from the last year, I think longer actually but couldn't be sure.
She then had a go at husband over the fence because of this trespass. I don't agree with what husband did.
It ended after a little while when she said that she didn't think the kids should be playing with balls in their garden, she was afraid of being hit by them in her own garden (i was listening from upstairs - I didn't want to join in as it would be very top heavy against her and despite her failings, I didn't want to get into it with her AND my husband! That would be stressful for her).
Husband told her to get a grip and that there is literally zero chance of her getting hit because here are large tree her side of the fence so the balls go over, hit the tree and slide down. THe balls land about 1 foot from the fence, if you see what I mean?
That was the end of their argument and we haven't spoke since. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable living next to us, we are many and she is solo, so when I saw her I waved a greeting but she just ignored me.
This evening the eldest got a new rugby ball and it ended up in her garden. Eldest and nanny went around to get it and she said something along the lines of "I did ask that you didn't play with the balls" and she (I think anyway) intimated she'd chuck it over.
It still isn't here. I'm fairly fucked off.
Husband said to her during their heated conversation that she didn't need to chuck it over, she could just notice it behind her trees and bring it to the front of the house when she was next going that way and we'd collect it from there when we saw it.
The front of all our houses are not fenced in, so we'd see it, the whole road is open plan so we'd spot the ball, we could lean over, grab it and that would be that.
She has a bad back so this is why she can't throw it over, she said.
How do we move forward?
I don't want to go around and get heated and intimidate her. Although she's a massive pain in my arse after me being such a (genuinely) decent (and modest 😂) neighbour.
A letter? Perhaps something along the lines of "buy a house with a fuck pot of land around it if you don't want to deal with this type of shit"...but less confrontational...