Stupid/offensive things people say when you're disabled

[SeekingClosure]

I have ms and use a mobility scooter for longer distances. Yesterday I was at a tourist attraction having a nice time, when a member of staff came up to me to say 'oh it's alright for some, riding about on that all day!'. I was quite taken aback at his crassness but my female conditioning came into play and I did a cross between eyes raised in incredulity and a smile. I didn't make a complaint because his I.d. indicated he was a volunteer.

When I go to Aldi I walk around leaning on the trolley, some days with more difficulty than others. One day the assistant on the till remarked brightly 'you're hobbling less than usual today!'. Hobbling fgs.

I realise these two examples were not intentionally hurtful but really, why comment on a person's disability at all? My illness is not public property!

Share your examples of this kind of thing please. I would especially love to hear any fitting retorts you have made as I am always stunned into silence!

I'm still bristling from discovering a few days ago, that some MN feminists don't regard disabled women as important as them! Have started a thread about this in aibu.

Do you need help putting your pants out, tillytop? Many of us are disabled, we want to retain the single sex spaces and add a third gender neutral space - not the disabled space.

lovelychops how cruel! Hope dd is alright now

Also annoys me when people in, say shopping centres LEAP out of the way as if I am flying at them 100mph with a deranged look in my eye.

I'm not going to attack you! It's helpful if you aren't standing in the way, but doesn't everyone, able bodied or not prefer when people aren't in their way?
Thank you for moving, but I'm not going to throw roses at you and weep in thanks because you dramatically moved out the way to show me how kind you are.

We were once in a taxi going to DS's SN football match. Explained to taxi driver what it was all about and pointed out our son, who was running around kicking a ball. Taxi driver said "he doesn't look autistic".

Upstart think you've got the wrong end of the stick. That's exactly what my thread is about.

Pepper If the flow of pedestrians is against me, I sometimes point my crutch outwards a bit, to stop myself being knocked down (very wobbly on my feet) Parents dramatically gather their kids to the side. DD thinks it's hilarious

Have you tried taking vitamins?
Yes, that'll stop my neutrophils killing themselves off

Oh and about cauda equina (they operated to save me from paralysis)
"Why do you still have back pain?"
Maybe the 5hr op and missing disc?!

Stood in a long queue with my dd who uses a wheelchair for the hospital pharmacy recently. Chap who was over 60 I would say, asked if it was the queue. I said yes, and he replied its alright for some who already have their seat

Same dd, straight As and A* At GCSE & ALevel, in £land, 'heres your change dear' and other patronising comments in a voice used for small children, or bears of very little brain

She is neither lucky or stupid because she has to use a wheelchair.

Really tilly? Is the cure available on the NHS? Now I've been diagnosed, I want it!

Having borderline personality disorder (which I was told by a specialist I didn't have) placed on my medical file has since meant I'm no longer diabetic or have Ehlers Danlos syndrome or any of my medical conditions.

I told my GP I was overjoyed to have found a cure for all my conditions!!

They muttered something under their breath (I know them - it must have been very unprofessional!) and then said out loud "you do know that's impossible don't you, whatever anyone tells you" whilst looking like this

My Medical file still only has that diagnosis on it as the psychiatrist refuses to accept I could have anything wrong.

Yes they've all been medically proven!

Not me,but a friend who is disabled due to spina bifida. She has a 'Motobility' car. She has told me that people have told her she's 'lucky she's disabled as it means the government give her 'free' car,another one said that it wasn't fair that disabled people got 'given a free car with road tax paid on it'. Er no,it's not free actually. If you have a motobility car,you have to exchange it for the some or even all (depending on how much you get) of the mobility payment part of your DLA/PIP. That equates to anything up to 60 quid a week. So it's not free!

@ALongHardWinter yep... it's a lease car that costs £200 a month. Someone actually said to my face "ahhh but the money you pay for that is free money you get just for being disabled" 🤬🤬🤬 just ffs

Being told you should be grateful that your child gets an adequate education - all that money spent on their place at special school, school transport ( 2 hours a day of it) etc. They are of course so lucky that the school up the road isn't able to cater for them.

That all people without kids are less busy than those with kids. As if childfree people can't also have caring responsibilities and/or busy lives full of medical or therapy appointments, jobs, family, hobbies. I was just as busy but in a different way before. When at my worst a transfer to my wheelchair kept me busy for ages!

"Is your back bad today?" When I rely on crutches or a wheelchair.

I have a spinal cord injury 👀

Oh shutup you sound just like my poor daughter ☹️☹️

ALongHardWinter

Don't forget the adaptions, £1500 on top of the DLA / PIP

And don't forget the shock and horror if you can manage to go on holiday when you're disabled!! Especially in your free car

Surely if it's your money you can do WTF you want with it? DS1 spends all his PIP on Lego. He's 28. I officially give up. It's my fault for giving him Duplo when he was 1.

tillytop Don't get me started on the subject of going on holiday if you are disabled! I get sick of seeing sensationalist reports in newspapers (of course the DM being the worst offender) about 'supposedly disabled' people (in THEIR opinion) actually getting on planes or coaches,and going on holiday! They are of the view that if you are capable of taking a holiday,then in no way can you be suffering from a disability or chronic illness. Crazy!

Not even going on holiday - doing ANYTHING remotely enjoyable seems to some to be 'verboten' ESPECIALLY if you suffer from depression - as if you're only ALLOWED to be miserable ALL the time - or else you're faking!

I can't afford a "free" car because I have to spend my mobility component and my care component on my rent and bills, because I'm only entitled to PIP, therefore it's my only income.

I have ME and have people tell me they are jealous of the fact my husband 'let's me' lie in or that they wish they could go for a lie down in the first aid room at lunch time like I do. I would very happily swap the fact I feel like my entire body is about to die and spend less time resting, trying to avoid total collapse