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Original poster

Robbie and Ayda Anyone else uncomfortable with surrogacy in these circumstances?

263 replies

Charlottesspider0 · 07/09/2018 21:31

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2018/09/07/robbie-williams-and-ayda-field-announce-theyve-welcomed-a-daughter-by-surrogate-7922256/amp/

I don’t fully agree with surrogacy for many reasons. Impact on newborn being removed from the ‘carrier’, impact on potential surrogates health. Also, the fact that unless the surrogate is altruistic, even in the uk where there are restrictions on financial payments for surrogacy, it almost will still always involve a financially Richer person compensating a poorer woman.

However in the case of couples who can’t conceive themselves or via ivf, and same sex couples, I can see what leads people to seek surrogates.

However this article makes reference to the use of a surrogate because their work schedules are too busy.
They also have two healthy children.
I find it difficult to accept that they are willing use Another woman’s body to take the risks of childbirth, paticularly in their given circumstances.

I think you want a baby, before your 40th birthday as the article makes reference to, then do it yourself, take the risks yourself and sort out your own work schedule to suit. It’s not like they don’t have the money in the bank to do that.

And if after two healthy children, a third pregnancy doesn’t happen for you, be happy with what you have.

Robbies famous comment likening watching his wife give birth to his first child, to his favourite pub burning down, to me just makes renting another woman’s body even more distasteful.

OP posts:
JustLikeBefore · 07/09/2018 21:58

Most people, after having two children and being told they can't have a third, would just accept the blessing of having had two children and not pay someone else to carry one for them

It smacks of 'we can buy anything'. Not a very nice trait

JustLikeBefore · 07/09/2018 21:59

sorry i meant this ^

DigsysDiner · 07/09/2018 22:02

I think surrogacy can be an amazing thing if a couple can't have their own child........but the whole babies for sale.thing doesnt sit right with me. Especially in America where money talks even to adopt.

They can put as many spins on it as they want, it's babies for sale. Healthy newborns particularly

Interested in this thread?

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Families
purpleme12 · 07/09/2018 22:05

I don't understand the point of this thread. We don't know the ins and outs of why this happened or anything. It's up to them what they do. As long as they're all happy with it then there shouldn't be any problem. Just because they wanted a third child so bad doesn't mean it's like an 'i can buy anything' thing

winegal · 07/09/2018 22:05

With regards to the comment in the paper that they didn't 'have time' don't believe everything you read.

As a pp said, maybe she had medical problems and couldn't carry another child. If a woman wishes to help a couple struggling by carrying a child that is genetically theirs I really don't see what the problem is. Also it is absolutely no ones business but theirs.

Cakecrumbsinmybra · 07/09/2018 22:05

I can’t imagine it would have been an easy or selfish decision

Um, why can’t you imagine that?

I think having obscene amounts of 💰 means that people make a lot of selfish decisions very easily.

Mrsmadevans · 07/09/2018 22:05

Reading between the lines they have been trying for a long time for number 3. Perhaps she has been unable to carry another pregnancy.
I don't think there is anything wrong with it myself . In their previous DC births they have been very open about them, so l presume there is some sort of health problem. IMHO most People wouldn't do something like this lightly. Good luck to all concerned.

PlatypusPie · 07/09/2018 22:06

I agree, OP

TomHardysNextWife · 07/09/2018 22:07

It's pretty scary that it's becoming the "norm" for slebs to do. I honestly think there are some very genuine women out there who do surrogacy for all the right reasons but I also sadly feel that most are driven to it financially.

I also think like another PP said that RW doesn't seem that well..... they both have that mad crazed eyes look about them these days. I'm not remotely comfortable with it either OP.

Original poster
Charlottesspider0 · 07/09/2018 22:07

It is true that they didn’t make the statements in the article so it may be down to a health issue or some other reason they used the surrogate.
But really, that aside, with two beautiful children already, I just can’t accept why anyone would think it is ok to pay someone else to take the risks of pregnancy and childbirth.

So many people would be happy with two healthy children and the lifestyle that they can give their family.
Why have to push for more and more and potentially injure someone else in the process.

OP posts:
MycatsaPirate · 07/09/2018 22:08

A long time?

Their other kids are 5 and 3. Still very little themselves.

exhaustedrundown · 07/09/2018 22:11

I would assume that as they already have 2 children and taking into account the tone of their statement it sounds very much like surrogacy wasn’t their first choice.
Just because someone has money doesn’t automatically mean they will make choices just because they can, but it does make more choices available to them.

All the best to them

EwItsAHooman · 07/09/2018 22:13

The phrase "a long time" is relative.

If she's been TTC since their youngest was tiny then she could well have been TTC for close to three years. After the age of 35, it's a cause for concern if you haven't managed to conceive after six months of trying and this would warrant a referral to a fertility clinic for investigation.

deepsea · 07/09/2018 22:13

Firstly we talk about everything on MN so I don’t agree with the censoring post(s) that day we can’t speak about it.

Robbie has a well known drug problem, if I was wanting to conceive I probably wouldn’t choose a self confessed drug addict.
Personally if I were them I would be making a proper detailed statement otherwise they are risking their reputation and making themselves a focus of negative backlash.

EwItsAHooman · 07/09/2018 22:14

From what I've heard of it (report on the news and a quick Google after reading this thread), I presume they've used a surrogate due to issues either conceiving or carrying a pregnancy. I don't understand the fuss.

Santaclarita · 07/09/2018 22:20

I hope those condemning them feel bad about themselves if it comes out that she couldn't conceive a child. How horrible you all sound.

So what if they currently have 2 children? Are they not allowed to want a third? What about women who can only have one, are they supposed to be happy they got one and shut up and not have ivf or a surrogate?

The surrogate was happy to do it. I imagine they got paid for it. Who cares if they didn't, maybe they didn't want the money? Maybe they wanted to just make someone happy?

It's their lives, not yours. No one has any right to say 'you don't deserve another child because you have 2 already' or for whatever reason.

MynameisJune · 07/09/2018 22:21

I wonder how many people de-crying surrogacy have suffered infertility or had to TTC for years and watch everyone else get pregnant and have babies around you. I can tell you it’s fucking horrendous, it’s the gift that never stops giving thanks now to SM and everyone posting pictures of their perfect families and you’re left once again crying on the sofa because your period just arrived.

To me it seems like they’ve had issues conceiving and have gone with surrogacy. Good luck to them, I wouldn’t wish infertility, for child number 1 or 100, on anybody.

LeftRightCentre · 07/09/2018 22:22

It's rent a womb.

exhaustedrundown · 07/09/2018 22:24

It’s a hell of a lot easier to conceive and carry your own child than to go through 1 or more ivf cycles to create embryos then find a surrogate so I really don’t buy the whole ‘they were too busy’ stuff

Shenanagins · 07/09/2018 22:25

I can’t get too worked up about this. I’ve seen many people on mumsnet who are devastated that whilst they already have children either can’t have anymore or are struggling to conceive so not sure why that’s not the case here.

Also get why they may not want to go into details of a possibly very sensitive matter.

Have noticed that we don’t seem to see their kids popping up in the media like props which is always a good thing.

JustLikeBefore · 07/09/2018 22:25

I don't understand the fuss

it's the wider picture of it becoming more acceptable that women's bodies are up for sale (plus babies for sale where there is no bio link)

it is illegal to sell your organs. ask yourself why is that?

EwItsAHooman · 07/09/2018 22:27

And conceiving your own doesn't carry the same level of judgement from people who have no idea of your situation or circumstances. Easier all round.

birdsdestiny · 07/09/2018 22:29

I think we will view surrogacy with utter horror in years to come. I don't think children should be for sale in the same way I dont agree with slavery. I don't think children should be removed from their mother unless there is no other choice, to create that situation is awful.

Aceinthehole · 07/09/2018 22:31

What a horrid thread.

Original poster
Charlottesspider0 · 07/09/2018 22:32

@Santaclarita it’s ironic you say no one has the right to say you don’t deserve another child because you already have two.
I struggle with the idea that people with two healthy children will buy another woman’s body to have more, and see that as their right.

@mynameisjune I’m so sorry for your struggles and I can understand why those who can’t conceive at all resort to surrogacy.
I’m sorry though I don’t think it’s comparable to a couple who have together two children.

OP posts: