Robbie and Ayda Anyone else uncomfortable with surrogacy in these circumstances?

[Charlottesspider0]

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2018/09/07/robbie-williams-and-ayda-field-announce-theyve-welcomed-a-daughter-by-surrogate-7922256/amp/

I don’t fully agree with surrogacy for many reasons. Impact on newborn being removed from the ‘carrier’, impact on potential surrogates health. Also, the fact that unless the surrogate is altruistic, even in the uk where there are restrictions on financial payments for surrogacy, it almost will still always involve a financially Richer person compensating a poorer woman.

However in the case of couples who can’t conceive themselves or via ivf, and same sex couples, I can see what leads people to seek surrogates.

However this article makes reference to the use of a surrogate because their work schedules are too busy.
They also have two healthy children.
I find it difficult to accept that they are willing use Another woman’s body to take the risks of childbirth, paticularly in their given circumstances.

I think you want a baby, before your 40th birthday as the article makes reference to, then do it yourself, take the risks yourself and sort out your own work schedule to suit. It’s not like they don’t have the money in the bank to do that.

And if after two healthy children, a third pregnancy doesn’t happen for you, be happy with what you have.

Robbies famous comment likening watching his wife give birth to his first child, to his favourite pub burning down, to me just makes renting another woman’s body even more distasteful.

banana

I know I don’t, that was the point I was making. Though being Welsh, it is very much opt out not opt in, re organ donations. Still waiting for the rest of the United Kingdom to catch up regarding that sort of system.

I think science is reaching the point of “just because you can, doesn’t mean you should”.

It doesn’t matter if people have experienced infertility or not to understand there are ethical considerations here.

Just now there is a story in the press about a UK couple who illegally harvested sperm from their dead son and had it shipped to the US where it was implanted into a surrogate by IVF. Completely unethical, but it shows that if you have money you can do as you like.

I’m not convinced that any of these celebs are using UK surrogates. I think they are all going abroad and it’s dodgy as hell.

Why in all other circumstances is it considered in a child's best interest to remain with their mother unless their is risk of harm.

That's because children are unlikely to be adopted and will just stay in the care system, so not relevant to surrogates.

I'm adopted and was taken from my mum at a week old, stayed with foster parents for 7 weeks and then went to my adoptive parents. I was fine, as long as a baby is cared for, they are fine.

The issues which come with adoption, such as being rejected by your natural parents and not knowing your genetic heritage obviously don't affect surrogate babes like Robbie & Aydas child

Just now there is a story in the press about a UK couple who illegally harvested sperm from their dead son and had it shipped to the US where it was implanted into a surrogate by IVF. Completely unethical, but it shows that if you have money you can do as you like.

God, what is wrong with people.

Utterly disgusting. It's illegal in every respect as at least one of the IPs has to be a genetic parent of the child

If a donor egg and donor sperm (from their dead son) was used with a surrogate, then that's completely illegal, in addition to the illegal sperm harvesting

Alongside embryo sex selection which is also disgusting and illegal in the UK

banana I'm so sorry you've been through that.

Why in all other circumstances is it considered in a child's best interest to remain with their mother unless their is risk of harm.

In a good surrogacy arrangement the surrogate will be very clear that it is not her baby from the start. She is looking after the intended parents' baby until it's born.

In a good surrogacy arrangement the surrogate will be very clear that it is not her baby from the start. She is looking after the intended parents' baby until it's born

I'm not sure the newborn baby quite gets the message though.

A good surrogate arrangement would mean the surrogate staying with the newborn for a period of time, IMO

The intended parents will have been actively involved in the pregnancy, visiting often, attending the scans and appointments, talking to the baby so he/she learns their voices. When their baby is born, the parents, not the surrogate, have skin-to-skin contact with the baby. The surrogate will already have had her own children and chosen not to have any more of her own. The newborn bonds with its parents, not the surrogate.

It doesn't end there, as it is usual for the surrogate and the family to stay in contact as good friends.

gunpowder i can tell you from personal experience that the new born baby is very happy to be cared for by people other than the person she's familiar with. Babies have verb cared for by a tribe since babies began. They would not have survived if this was impossible for them. My relative's baby was incredibly settled, quietened by my relatives voice, knew who mummy was and several years on is very strongly bonded. It's been very straight forward.

I think this is counter intuitive because adoption trauma specialists developed a theory the difficult emotional processes facing adoptees began with the shock felt by relinquished newborn babies. There was no way of proving this but it had such explanatory power and so resonated with that community that it was accepted as fact. Then studies showed that newborns did in fact have the ability to recognise their mother which appeared to support the idea that being deprived of that person created a festering, life long wound.

In fact there are many circumstances when babies are cared for by a multiplicity of care givers without negative consequences and the tasks facing adoptees are much more complex. Their experiences are completely different to the experiences of children born through surrogacy and often involve unmet needs on an ongoing basis during childhood, in addition to adult feelings of dislocation, confusion and abandonment. Children born through IVF do not have these tasks (of course) and children of surrogacy tend to process their birth story in these terms, especially because they're genetically related to their intended parents. For them, the idea that they were grown in someone else's tummy because mummy's wasn't working really is that simple.

We weren't sure what to expect (although we knew that plenty of other children had adjusted fine) but it really was amazing to see that there was absolutely no no difference in the maternal bond between my relative and her baby. He was a mummy's boy from day one.

Also i would add that it is ALWAYS a surrogates worst fear to be left with the baby. They are not women who struggle to have children! The absence of legislation may seem to protect 'mothers' but it real terms it leaves surrogates feeling vulnerable to their greatest fear. They have no way of forcing the IPs to take responsibility if they have a change of heart. Especially if a sperm donor has been used.

My husband and I have had 2 ivf that ended in miscarriages. We are desperate to start a family and are considering using surrogacy. We have 3 embryos ready for transfer. We are really so desperate. Does anyone know who to contact or register🙏🏿

"However this article makes reference to the use of a surrogate because their work schedules are too busy."
That's just odd to me. I think of pregnancy as of some kind of miracle. Of course, not everyone is going through it smoothly, but being able to give birth to your child yourself is the best thing in the world, in my opinion. I had a lot of m/cs before, and now I have to opt for surrogacy due to various reasons. That does not mean that I hate it, but it'd be so much better to give birth to my baby just once. And people who choose surrogacy for such plain reasons surprise me..