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Original poster

If you are a normal person, how much cash do you put in a wedding card?

186 replies

BretonStripe · 31/08/2018 09:07

Bride and groom have asked for cash to spend on honeymoon. Not an extravagant couple or wedding (2nd time around for him). We are good friends and going to whole day and evening.

So if you are not rich and not poor, how much do you give?

OP posts:
caliroll · 31/08/2018 12:06

For weddings in the last 5 years: -

Close family - £100 as a couple (child free weddings)
- £200 as a family of 4

Friends - £50

Give what you can afford/what you are comfortable with.

supercalifragilistic2 · 31/08/2018 12:08

£50. Were not high earners.

As you've mentioned you've already spend £60 so her friends can match Hmm.

Just give what you can. She probably won't recall how much you've given them anyway.

Katjolo · 31/08/2018 12:09

£80-£100 as day guests
£40-£50 as evening gurstd

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Weddings
kaytee87 · 31/08/2018 12:09

What do you class as rich or poor?

We give £100 and have done for years, might up it to £150 for the next wedding we go to as we have more income now and inflation Grin

kaytee87 · 31/08/2018 12:11

She's ridiculous asking you and the others to buy matching dresses. If she wants you to be a bridesmaid then she asks you and buys you a dress.

NipInTheAir · 31/08/2018 12:14

If the bride dictated money towarfs a honeymoon and what frock I was to wear, i'd probably decline and send a vouche for £25.

Solasshole · 31/08/2018 12:15

Friend who had very low key simple but still lovely wedding (ie evening reception at a sports club, no meal served) - £20

Friend who is having a larger wedding (proper 3 course meal at a country estate etc etc) - £80

BIL who is having destination wedding - £100 probably but would have given more if wedding was local. Feel this is fair given we're paying a bit more to go to the wedding (which we're happy to do tho, we were going to go on holiday abroad next year anyway it's just he's chosen our destination for us now and it's a nice place so no regrets Grin )

Pittcuecothecookbook · 31/08/2018 12:15

£50 from us. In our 30s, combined income about £40k, if that helps for context

PerfectPenquins · 31/08/2018 12:19

It’s not pay for your invitation, if you want to invite your guests and feed them don’t expect to be reimbursed for that! It’s not insulting if someone has given you all they can afford I’m sorry the poster who said that you are a greedy twat!. If you can’t afford to have all the guests and pay for the meals etc without getting that back via wedding present cash then you need to scale back big time. £20 here unless immediate family but then we know if any of us wants or beeds something so would get that instead.

DameJulie · 31/08/2018 12:43

Some ridiculous amounts here.

£25 towards their honeymoon is fine.

PatchworkElmer · 31/08/2018 12:45

Going to a wedding tomorrow- DH and I only (no children invited), and giving £25 towards the honeymoon. This is all we can afford after the cost of travel, outfits, etc.

irregularegular · 31/08/2018 12:49

£50 unless very close. And we are pretty well off.

glintandglide · 31/08/2018 12:49

£50-100

kaytee87 · 31/08/2018 12:50

Some ridiculous amounts here.

No amounts are ridiculous is that's what people want to, and can afford to, give.

GhostsToMonsoon · 31/08/2018 12:53

I contributed £100 to a friend's honeymoon fund.

DH thought I should have given her £500 and I should give my sister £1000 Confused. He is very tight with some things and over generous with others.

DrZoidbergsTentacles · 31/08/2018 12:57

I have my best friends wedding next year. Her second, his first, it's a very fancy affair. We will likely give £200

thisisannc · 31/08/2018 12:59

£50, and I don't think that's ungenerous at all!

I'm currently in the midst of wedding planning. We're inviting only people we genuinely want to be there and are happy to spend money on. The idea of expecting to get a certain percentage of that money back in the form of gifts is utterly bizarre to me. I can well imagine that a couple of my wealthier aunts/uncles might give us monetary gifts, but I in no way expect them.

I've attended a few weddings where monetary gifts have been requested, and whilst I've given my £50 happily, I'd find it extremely weird to be on the other side receiving cash gifts from my friends.

In my extended family (much like my fiancé's) giving large sums of money just isn't done, isn't expected and most certainly would never be requested.

MadisonAvenue · 31/08/2018 13:00

Last wedding we went to was my husband's nephews wedding earlier this year and I gave £40 from the four of us. I would've given more had we not had to do a six hour round trip, book a hotel and budget for the expensive bar at the venue (we don't drink a lot but even soft drinks were extortionate).

My sister married earlier this year too and they didn't ask for gifts or money but we gave them €100 as they were honeymooning in Paris so I put it in a card telling them to have lunch on us, they did that and also bought tickets to go up the Eiffel Tower with it.

We have another wedding later this year and again no gifts or money have been asked for, and it involves a long journey and a hotel meaning added expense so we'll probably take a bottle of Champagne or a National Gardens gift voucher as they enjoy gardening.

Normandy144 · 31/08/2018 13:37

For a really close friend or relative I'd give £100 and probably £50 for others.

DameJulie · 31/08/2018 13:57

No amounts are ridiculous is that's what people want to, and can afford to, give

Disagree. Traditionally, you'd give money/a gift to a young couple setting up home for the first time. No need to give £200+ to someone remarrying and wanting to honeymoon in the Maldives.

RiojaHaze · 31/08/2018 14:04

We just got married and didn't ask for money but got given a really lovely amount. Most couples gave £50 which was in our minds really generous, and a couple of good friends gave £100 plus a gift which we were overwhelmed by.

kaytee87 · 31/08/2018 14:13

@DameJulie there's no need to give any gift at all and I don't like requests for gifts with invitations (although I realise I'm in the minority here and I don't make an issue of it). It's absolutely not ridiculous for someone to choose to give a large (or small) gift if that's what they choose, and can afford to do.

anon138 · 31/08/2018 14:14

I attended a friends wedding a couple of weeks ago and gave £40 from me and DP. I thought that was enough! Maybe i'm poorer than i realise Shock

Bluesheep8 · 31/08/2018 14:43

£50 for close family or £20 for friends. For the last friends who got married, I took her a large Yankee candle (£23) and some tea lights and votives in the fragrance "Wedding Day" for her to burn in the morning as she was getting ready. That meant so much to her, every time she smells it now she remembers the happiness she felt on that morning, which is a lovely effect for a small gift to have....Smile

Original poster
BretonStripe · 31/08/2018 14:59

To answer some questions.

The bride is a good friend who would never "dictate" anything. She asked me and two friends if we'd like to be matching so like 2nd tier bridesmaids and we thought it sounded lovely so went shopping and bought £60 dresses. We were happy to do that and will wear them again.

The wedding invite doesn't mention gifts at all . When we asked she said "no gifts, but if you really really feel you want to give something then some money to spend on honeymoon would be very much appreciated please".

They don't have much money, but have paid for their own budget honeymoon and it's somewhere average (think Spain/France) in Europe - definitely NOT the Maldives!! They are super laid-back down to earth types who don't do luxury and extravagant, even for their low-key wedding.

It's local and child-free. Free bar and we are getting a hot meal. Agree with others though that it shouldn't feel like we are paying for an invitation!

Thanks for all your answers Smile

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