Weirdest thing you've said in your sleep

[benjaminbuttonschild]

I'm a bit of a sleep talker, always coming out with jibberish in my sleep. Sometimes I'm aware and wake myself up, most of the time not.

Anyway, dp came home from earlier and started chuckling to himself at the dinner table. I asked what was funny.

He said that last night I woke him up by blurting out "Who invented sick?".

Apparently I sounded really genuine as if it were a real question. I have no recollection of this whatsoever nor do I recall any dreams from last night. So very bizarre!

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friends house. In the morning she was giggling at me because apparently I started humming the theme tune to 'The Simpsons' in my sleep.

What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said or heard said by someone else?

I sat up and said “ I do not like the service in this hotel! Let’s leave!” I was firmly planted in my own bed.
I also have form for sitting up, arms crossed in front, vampirella style, then slowly lowering myself back down. Creeped two husbands out with that one..

Apparently I once asked, very anxiously, ‘so, what are we going to do with all the monks?’. No idea where that came from.

Don't hurt the cat.

Wasn't even dreaming about a cat!

"Say hello to my ankle!"

Glad it's. not just me

I just remembered something else I once did. I dated a guy years ago. I was alone in my bed at my house. I was dreaming it was nearly Christmas. I picked up my phone next to me bed and texted perfectly to my boyfriend "Is it Christmas?". Because I'm the dream that's what I did.

I woke up in the morning with a very confused text back from boyfriend saying "what? You do realise it's July!!". I sent a genuine text message in my sleep, spelled perfectly and have no recollection whatsoever of doing it

Say hello to my ankle

My husband once announced "the condiments of the month are MAYONNAISE and PEPPER!"

He was so emphatic about it.

Sat bolt upright in bed, woke DP by vigorously shaking him and said "don't let the crabs get on the bed!" (Giant rainbow crabs, not the other kind... )

I went into the bedroom, and unfortunately woke DH up.
He looked at me really bleary eyed, smiled, and said;
'Are we still waiting for aliens to pick up fluids?'
I asked him what he meant and then he said, 'you know, all the stuff that's lined up downstairs'
Wtf!?!

Ahh these are brilliant

"That chemistry test was really hard, I think I failed the driving part" a favourite from my youth.. a friend was wildly entertained.

Talking in my sleep and woke dp up when he asked what was up I replied quite bluntly...'errr I'm not talking to you, I'm taking to the goat!' I'm forever teaching in my sleep too apparently (I'm a teacher btw not a weirdo with a fake sleep class! 😂😂)

DH once got out of bed, looked at me and asked where Pascha was. I said I'm right here you dozy twonk and he looked right through me and said "not you, I mean my girlfriend Pascha, she's downstairs". God knows who he thought I was

I've had quite a few over the years. Much to Dh's amusement, some of the things I've come out with apparently : "The cat's left her briefcase under the Christmas bush again." "I'm not happy with the jammie dodger in the sky." "No, you can't have my two tomatoes! I need them for the Mystery Machine." "You better jump or the toilet will cry for 7 minutes". "Why do armpits and Teresa May have matching tea pots?" "Where can I put Japan? I need it to be safe" "The stars are watching us, tell them to put bonjela on the easter Eggs". And apparently I once woke Dh up frantically shaking him in a panic because Harry Potter was coming for dinner and I couldn't find the elder wand

I woke up shouting 'I'm Printing' once 😂

‘Am I Rafael Benitez?’
I asked my DH this several times one night and he couldn’t wake me into a coherent state. I had to Google who Benitez was in the morning. I must have heard his name at some point during the day.

My mum always has nightmares, and screams and shouts in her sleep, and never believes the stuff we say she has said.
My dad recorded her one night and she shouts "get out of my Fucking Garden" then makes this weird humming/howl noise 😂

"Say hello to my ankle!" . This has me in creases 😂

DP once told me I needed to build a barbecue

I threatened to throw a portable TV at DM's head because she wouldn't make me breakfast at 3am. In my defence I was seven at the time and have absolutely no recollection.

Apparently I ask
"Where are the oranges"
Then say "I'm looking for 4" and then tell whoever is listening "I didn't break it" and that's all I say EVERYTIME I sleep talk

My partner woke up a couple of weeks ago in the middle of the night and sat on the edge of the bed head in his hands. I asked him what he was doing and he said "I need to get this sorted and I'm so tired" I asked what he needed to be sorted and he said "our Gems pack up, she needs it as soon as possible"

His sister is 38 years old. I doubt she needed a pack up at 3.30am 😂

I once told DH I would 'kick his brains out'.

I'm a really peaceful person when I'm awake, honestly.

I'm in bed giggling under the covers at these trying not to wake dp.

Pissing myself at Ruby's post. Fml they are brilliant quotes. 😂😂😂

Condiments of the month is the funniest!