Weirdest thing you've said in your sleep

[benjaminbuttonschild]

I'm a bit of a sleep talker, always coming out with jibberish in my sleep. Sometimes I'm aware and wake myself up, most of the time not.

Anyway, dp came home from earlier and started chuckling to himself at the dinner table. I asked what was funny.

He said that last night I woke him up by blurting out "Who invented sick?".

Apparently I sounded really genuine as if it were a real question. I have no recollection of this whatsoever nor do I recall any dreams from last night. So very bizarre!

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friends house. In the morning she was giggling at me because apparently I started humming the theme tune to 'The Simpsons' in my sleep.

What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said or heard said by someone else?

DH’s answer in the middle of the night when asked to stop snoring was “You wanted me to give you the yardage of my travails.”

Which 17thC spirit he was channeling, god only knows 😂😂😂

I was once asleep with DH when I shot upright and screamed ‘Richard! Where’s Richard!’ And then took all the covers off and searched under the pillows for Richard. When I couldnt find him I started crying and said ‘oh Richard what have you done’ and then went to sleep.

I don’t know anyone called Richard. And DH wasn’t very happy as I made him search for Richard as well

an ex sleep walked out of bed, bumbled around the room, and did a wee down the back of the radiator.

I sleep walk, talk and have night terrors.

The worst was when I woke up as I was trying to get out of the window... I sleep naked so thank fuck we live somewhere quiet. I’d hate to think what a passerby would have seen otherwise.

When we got a dehumidifier DP woke me up in the early hours with ‘the dehumidifier, it’s SUCKING ALL THE WATER OUT OF ME!!!’ I reassured him it wasn’t and he was asleep, ‘No I’m not, I’m telling you it’s evil’ told him again he was asleep ‘oh I must have been dribbling then’ immediately went properly to sleep leaving me giggling to myself.

Another time ‘Bella, Bella the gruffalo wants a hug in a mug’

I use the sleep app and have some real corkers. I often make up silly songs in my sleep and also talk in a scary growling voice. Not sure where the growling come from but gives us all a giggle.

Legend has it that I once shouted at XDP ‘I WANT TO RIDE THE PINK ONE’

My dh suffers night terrors but I normally forget quickly what he does...

The other night though he jumped out of bed....

Me: what are you doing?
Dh (standing perfectly still): I don't know
Me: are you going to get back into bed?
DH:(still standing still) :I don't know
Me: ok (rolled over and went back to sleep)

I have no idea how long he stood there or what he was doing.... I am so used to his "weirdies"

My late husband once woke me up by stating quite loudly: Chinamen have small dicks! When I said what?, he replied: Chinamen have small dicks. That's why they have to wear condoms with extensions, because they have very small dicks.

To this day I still wonder what the hell he was dreaming about.

I have never talked in my sleep but a few family members do.

My nana used to tell us about my grandad who said "George has got one, that's right George has got one too" we never did find out who George was.

My little sister sat bolt upright when we were little and said "two coffees and a tea please" and lay back down again.

DH often chats nonsense but the best one I can think of is:
DH: "he's about to pop out"
Me (awake): "who is?"
DH: "he is, you know him"
Me: "who's popping out?"
DH: "Satan, Satan's about to pop out and you know that, you know him"

Woke my husband up insisting he scrape the maggots off the ceiling, because the air hostess had told me too and whilst working abroad as a party rep, sat bolt upright , told everyone to check their receipts as it was cheaper to shop in Asda and not Tesco !!!

I once counted in German, made a mistake, tutted, corrected myself (in german) and took it again from the top.

My mum's dp once said "come along, let's chase away those washday blues".

DH says I talk quite a lot in my sleep, and on occasion will have a full on conversation with him about normal everyday mundane stuff. The last ‘conversation’ was apparently about our laundry detergent and how much I liked it and we should get that specific one again.
Our DD’s think it’s hilarious when I fall asleep on the sofa and chatter away. DD1 talks, laughs and occasionally screams while she’s asleep it’s quite disconcerting because she has a really scary laugh!

I also have extremely vivid dreams which I am able to control, this happens at least once a week.

"For God's sake it folds down if you move all the shit off It!"

When asked wtf, I angrily replied "the loft hatch! Just move the shit from round the hatch and there's a ladder that folds down, you'll crack the bath standing on it like that."

At that point we didn't have a bath, our loft hatch was in the bedroom and did not have an access ladder.

Also sat up once and exclaimed "Well that's just a joke isn't it?" When asked what was a joke, I said "I'm talking to therapist don't interrupt. You shouldn't even be in here" 😂

An ex said "The black forest cats talk in haemoglobia".

I laugh I my sleep a lot and often wake myself up. DP assures me that I once shouted "don't try your PTA bullshit with me or you'll be picking your teeth out of the Tarmac"

I've remembered one my exH said. He was muttering in his sleep so I asked him what he was saying, he replied "shut up, juggy"

My husband’s a pilot. He sometimes talks in his sleep. I can tell when he thinks he’s at work as he chats away as if he’s talking to Air Traffic, lining up to take off! Bonkers!

I don’t speak in my sleep but I blow raspberries. I wake myself up blowing raspberries. (Mouth raspberries not bottom raspberries!)

Ah these are all good!

Loving the raspberry blowing, that's definitely a new one

They say it is good to laugh. This thread has been very good for me. Thank you, all.

I apparently sat bolt upright and shouted
"I want a shark... a brown one with muddy boots"
Haha! I don't even remember dreaming 😂

Apparently once woke up and declared “It must have been those rogue employees!”

I used to regularly offer an ex some water for the table too. Apparently I am some kind of detective / waitress hybrid in my dreams.

I'm terrible for waking up and talking gibberish. Once, when I still lived with my parents, I fell asleep in an armchair, I woke up and started to peer over the side of the chair and all around it, my dad asked 'giddy, what are you looking for?', I replied with 'my steering wheel'.