Weirdest thing you've said in your sleep

[benjaminbuttonschild]

I'm a bit of a sleep talker, always coming out with jibberish in my sleep. Sometimes I'm aware and wake myself up, most of the time not.

Anyway, dp came home from earlier and started chuckling to himself at the dinner table. I asked what was funny.

He said that last night I woke him up by blurting out "Who invented sick?".

Apparently I sounded really genuine as if it were a real question. I have no recollection of this whatsoever nor do I recall any dreams from last night. So very bizarre!

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friends house. In the morning she was giggling at me because apparently I started humming the theme tune to 'The Simpsons' in my sleep.

What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said or heard said by someone else?

Rafael Benitez and I'm printing nearly killed me 😂😂😂 I've got tears down my face.

I co-slept with DS2 for a few years (single Mum).
He’s be about 3 when he woke me up saying “Come on (brother), ninky nonk’s here...”
Too cute!

There is an amazing app called Sleep Talk, i think?

You set it up before bed and it records everything over normal sleep noise.

We had it and it just recorded my farts and DH waffling on about 'Jackie's gems'

Brilliant. Try it.

I sleep talk a lot apparently, but the weirdest thing I've told DH is " Alonso's gonna win now he hasn't got his leg. "
I woke up believing I'd seen a news report that Lewis Hamilton had been in a car accident and lost his leg I was so adamant it was true that I got upset when DH started laughing at me!
He had to turn on the news to show my nothing had happened

‘I’m printing’ literally has me proper belly laughing! 😂

I still feel bad about this. I was dreaming about eating fish and chips and they were soooo tasty. I was really enjoying them and sleep talking about how good they were...... and then bit my oh's finger.

It wasn't even a little nibble, rather a full on chomp. Whoops!

"I'm a pirate! ARRRRR!"

A long time ago when me and DP lived in a first floor flat, we had a cat that had many nicknames. One night I sat bolt upright in bed, and said repeatedly "the box, the box , the box!" DP asks what box and I say "you know, the box with the things in for insert about ten silly nicknames for cat* - we have to get it or the house will sink!"
Then I went straight back to deep sleep!

I sometimes dream hallucinate that there's a spider in the bed and will wake DH up in a panic.

The other night, however, I did the same thing so he did his usual "you dreamt the spider Mouse!", to which I replied "No! There's a lobster in the bed!" All I remember is a snippet of a dream where a lobster scuttled under my pillow.

They had lobster tails on sale in Aldi the other day so I'm assuming that was the trigger!

I once sat up and said to my ex husband "I hate peeling potatoes" He said to me in his sleep "you're as thick as 2 short planks"

I was in HDU in hospital, asleep and surrounded by medical staff. I yelled out
Get down those pasta stairs, you are getting right on my tits .

I'd love to have utterly random yet detailed ones like Ruby's!
These will out me to my Dsis (waves at Dsis) as we shared a bedroom growing up.
"a wasp in a sock makes a shop"
After a visit to the natural history museum "wake up wake up, there's a volcano in the room!" - I was so put out at her dismissiveness, I was trying to save her life!
Once I sat up and said "if I press this button".
Then one day Dsis mumbled something in her sleep! I was delighted but hadn't heard what she'd said so I asked her to please repeat it, twice, to which she said "oh - chop your brother down!"

I once woke DH up insisting we needed to get up to paint the lawns white - he wasn't amused to be shaken awake!

We were in holiday in the Rhine Valley on the edge of a vineyard, everything had a vine theme, paintings, tableware, carpets, even the wooden bed head had vine leaves carved into them. I was a bit overwhelmed and during a night of dreaming I was being chased through the vineyard, I sat bold upright in bed and solemnly said to DH "fig leaves give more cover for anteaters, we need to shoot the ewoks between the eyes" and then got really annoyed with him for not agreeing.

Facebook timehop just reminded me of this hilarious one from my husband.

"My penis, my rules!"

Lolololol

I used the sleep recording app last night. The first 2 hours are free but it's just snoring, loudly breaking wind (I don't know if that's me or dh!) and dh shooing a cat out.
Do I want to pay to access the rest!

Room sharing back when Adam was a lad I sat bolt upright and asked my roomie where she had hidden the bodies. When she didn't reply I repeated the question. I seemed to be happy with her response of "in the garden".

My ex woke me up at 2am shaking me. He shouted ‘how do you make cloudy lemonade?!’ I was half asleep and confused as to why he needed to know this. I replied ‘lemons, sugar and water I think’ and he replied ‘Yea, exactly! So FUCK OFF!!!’

Still tickles me now

I once yelled ‘mackerel’ at the top of my voice in my sleep.

My brother's first job was to call out orders to a couple of other youngsters who were inside a small warehouse.
He often shouted out orders in his sleep.

Just after I'd started a new job at a university I had a full argument with my (now) DH about how our cat had submitted an application but hadn't provided her evidence. Apparently I was very cross about it

restingbemusedface that has ended me!

"Don't go to the war, Bertha". I have no idea why and don't even know anyone called Bertha!

"Mackeral!" 😂😂😂😂😂

I shook my dh awake demanding to know the name of his doctor. When he told me, I asked for their address and phone number. It was the middle of the night, he couldn't remember what day it was, never mind his doctor's phone number and address! He slept with one eye open that night.
I have form for this, by the way. He's taken all sharp objects off of my bedside table for some reason ?

My DH enjoys telling me regularly what I say in my sleep. Recently I’ve said:

“The babies are still in the van, get them out” (we have no babies)
“BRITISH HOME STORES”
“Mum’s banana is too big go and help her with it”