Weirdest thing you've said in your sleep

[benjaminbuttonschild]

I'm a bit of a sleep talker, always coming out with jibberish in my sleep. Sometimes I'm aware and wake myself up, most of the time not.

Anyway, dp came home from earlier and started chuckling to himself at the dinner table. I asked what was funny.

He said that last night I woke him up by blurting out "Who invented sick?".

Apparently I sounded really genuine as if it were a real question. I have no recollection of this whatsoever nor do I recall any dreams from last night. So very bizarre!

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friends house. In the morning she was giggling at me because apparently I started humming the theme tune to 'The Simpsons' in my sleep.

What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said or heard said by someone else?

I rarely sleep talk (as far as I'm aware) but according to a school friend of mine who stayed over regularly when we were teenagers I once sat bolt upright in bed and shouted "keep away! DOOOOOOOO!!!" then lay back down again.

I'd love to know what that was all about!

My DP talks about football players in his sleep but he mumbles a lot so I dont catch it all.
A few weeks ago I woke in the night to hear DP farting loudly and then he giggled whilst fast asleep.

I once woke my husband up and demanded that he ‘describe an antelope’ He was very confused apparently 😂

Last night I woke myself and dp up by shouting "Don't put him on the table!!".

Apparently dp couldn't get back to sleep after that 😐

"Green and purple fingers"

Apparently I once came out with the following, completely unprompted:
'Even the birds in the trees have legs and wings, so you're wrong again, as usual'

Absolutely no idea where it came from!

My boyfriend rather disturbingly said in a scary voice 'YOU MUST DIE' followed immediately and less scarily by 'just a little bit ............. again'.

Apparently "DH will peel the potatoes."

'The narwhals are singing!'

My husband told me I starting complaining about why there were so many oranges in the plane

very strange

I said "we do have loads of kitkats though" to my Husband the other night.

I'd dozed off on the sofa without realising, and of course I couldn't remember why exactly he needed to know about the kitkat situation (we actually don't have any IRL) and had no idea what he'd actually asked me! It was probably "are you asleep again?"

When I was younger I told a really funny joke in my sleep and laughed so hard that I woke up. I was staying at my grandparents and my grandad told me that I'd muttered some gibberish and then started laughing hysterically!

"STEWART! STEWART!"

Didn't know anyone by that name at the time...

I once shook my DP awake saying things like "we need to get out of the way of a train! Come on!!" So genuinely convinced was I that a train was coming right for us. In our own bed. In the middle of the night.

Luckily he saw the funny side of it...

Ive shaken my OH awake in my sleep and demanded he bring me a damp tea towel. It was vital that I had a damp tea towel immediately. He (fool!) brought me one to find that I was still asleep.

I often sit bolt upright in my sleep and he has to make me lay down again.

Like the thought of the sleep recording app, wonder what I would hear!

DH: look, look! (pointing at wall)
Me: Eh?
DH: Look, look they're circling!
Me: What?
DH Look, they're circling! They are the dead and we are the sleeping!
Me: [wibble]

I sleep talk every night but if I am under a lot of stress or pressure it can be for hours every night and involve sleep walking too.According to my OH my most talked about thing is....chicken!

"But no, not that one. That's a turkey in catsclothing. I want the chicken. THE CHICKEN".

Often he will whisper things to me and they very often appear in my dreams. I had a horrible nightmare one night and he was very apologetic when I woke up crying. I was talking to our pet chicken ( we dont have a chicken) and he whispered " Oh yeah, that giant orange bastard". In my dream I was being chased by a 10ft tall orange chicken with a killer peck. he only makes nice suggestions now! Others have been

" it isnt a fucking peep show you know, have some decency and mop the floor"

" But I can't put ion the shelf without my stretchy gogo legs. Boing"

My mother was a cow and a half and used to question me in my sleep as a teen and I always told her the truth so she would punish me for tiny things as she couldnt admit to getting the info from my dream.

I have form for this...highlights have included:

• waking DSis to sell her my much love teddy bear
• waking DM and insisting there were rats in my bedroom
• giving DH a black eye
• waking DH and demanding he change the lightbulb in the radio alarm clock

'My toes are in the bin'.
'I only eat green glass'.
'no you can't ride my dolphin'.

Dh tells me there are many more. I also sleep swear apparently. A lot.

I came round from an operation once to the surgeon laughing aparently id gone to him give me pizza. And then proceeded to be like im ordering pizza anyone want anything. Then proceeded to be like hello dominos and give them my order 😂 whilst totally ko'ed.

Weridly woke up wanting pizza though...

I once woke my husband up with sighing and tossing and turning. He asked what was wrong and I replied crossly "Irritating hedgehog!"

I also woke him to tell him we couldn't pay the rent because I'd used the money for cat food. We don't pay rent and we don't own a cat.

Oh god never mind about speaking, I actually sleptwalked to the newsagents recently.

I'm plucking up the courage to call in and find out if I spoke gibberish to them and if they knew I was asleep

Years ago in bed with my bf at the time I shook him awake..

Me: Get that thing
Him: What thing?
Me: That thing at the end of the bed!
Him: What thing at the end of the bed!?
Me: That thing that measures your feet so we can work out how much you weigh!

I once woke my late DP up at 3am to tell the 🥕 had grown in his rocket boots and he could set off for the moon now! 😂 😂 😂
Not surprisingly he harumphed very loudly rolled over and went back to sleep.
I couldn't remember any of it when he told me the next morning!!

'You can't throw it, it's got two tops on'

I frequently abuse my husband in my sleep as I'm convinced he's a random man trying it on with me, despite his protests to the contrary, things like 'oh my husband will be here soon and he's going to kick your arse for harassing me', 'I'm not interested, I'm married' and 'I'm sorry, do I know you?' At least he knows I'm unwaveringly loyal to him though!

I don't talk in my sleep but DH is a regular. My favourite was when he said

ALLL THE BALDY MEN

In a really weird childlike voice, sitting up, patting his knees.