Weirdest thing you've said in your sleep

[benjaminbuttonschild]

I'm a bit of a sleep talker, always coming out with jibberish in my sleep. Sometimes I'm aware and wake myself up, most of the time not.

Anyway, dp came home from earlier and started chuckling to himself at the dinner table. I asked what was funny.

He said that last night I woke him up by blurting out "Who invented sick?".

Apparently I sounded really genuine as if it were a real question. I have no recollection of this whatsoever nor do I recall any dreams from last night. So very bizarre!

When I was a teenager I stayed at a friends house. In the morning she was giggling at me because apparently I started humming the theme tune to 'The Simpsons' in my sleep.

What's the weirdest thing anyone has ever said or heard said by someone else?

I was sat up in bed watching the tv (which was off). When my (now ex) DW asked what I was doing I replied quite grumpily “l am watching the f*ing basketball.

I don’t like basketball.

DP talks in his sleep an awful lot, I can actually hold a conversation with him as well which can be quite amusing at times. The other night he was chattering away in his sleep and said “fucking Germans” which was a bit random. When he woke up he said he was really upset, when I asked why he said he said he dreamt I had left him for a German man 😂

I fell asleep on the sofa and woke up with a jolt shouting at my DH
‘LETS GO INTERNATIONAL!’
I was halfway out of the room when I came to and turned back round to him creasing himself laughing. There have been more I do it regularly but this is the one which stuck.

My dh once said "I don't want your drug money, my country is not for sale" 😂 he'd watched a documentary that night about drug smuggling. Another time he lifted a pair of balled up socks and threw them at the bedroom door, when I asked him what he was doing... "keeping the aliens out", I didn't sleep much that night surprisingly!

What would be the point in furry bikinis?

To be fair I had a point...

This will probably out me to anyone who knew me in my younger days. But the randomest thing I have ever done was sit upright in my sleep, shout "POLYFILLA" and lie back down!

Told DP to "fire up the Kawasaki, I need to see my patients, but there is a giant fatberg in the village"

My ds showed me the duvet all scrunched up and said "look Mummy, I've found people! Look, can you see them? There's one and there, I have a machine for finding them" Went off to sleep grinning from ear to ear.

I woke DH up one night, sitting over him, shaking him and shout-whispering "LOOK AT THEM!" I was staring at the bedroom doorway. "AREN'T THEY CUTE?"

Poor DH couldn't see anything. He asked me what I was looking at, I ignored him and went on "LOOK AT ALL THE WEASELS!"

At which point DH said 'what?!' quite loudly, woke me up and I had a go at him for doing so

‘Do jelly babies migrate?’ I got very cross with DH’s sleepy bewilderment as he is a twitcher and should know.

But once, I woke up and told him about a black guillemot that had appeared on Shetland in my dream. Later that day, a black guillemot appeared on Shetland and he went to see it

I wish I had a more interesting nocturnal life! I'm just grinding my teeth apparently..

I didn't actually say anything, but one night I was dozing off next to dh, who had no boxers on, anyway my arm was draped across him, and as I fell asleep in that kind of drifting off stage, I must have got hold of his willy. Meanwhile in my dream I was in a shop, when some robbers arrived and I tried to shoot them several times, which clearly involved squeezing a trigger

Woke up to dh exclaiming that I was a being a bit rough with his penis! Still makes me chuckle.

Thinking about it at one time me and ex went out and when we got home my brain pattern thought was 'sofa sofa sofa' so I went to it like a highly trained nuclear missile (I obviously just wanted to go asleep).

Ex tried to wake me up to go upstairs and apparently I drew myself up in a very haughty and indignant way and said 'any decent person would let somebody sleep' then went back to sleep. He left me to it!

When I had do share a room with Dsis I woke myself up saying "does your mum know about that?"
DP told me how I was on the phone to McDonald's once in my sleep and I had my hand to my ear like a phone complaining that they were messing up my order.

Was asleep napping on the sofa with baby DD and my other two DC were were watching a film next to me all quietly and nicely. All of a sudden I woke myself you saying "stop it" they say there staring at me like wtf lol

Thank you all. I can't remember the last time either of us has talked in our sleep but this thread has given me a giggle!

Me (angrily):

‘You could have put the fucking balloons up while you were up there’

.........

I fell asleep on the sofa and looked at Dp and said why aren't you dead, you should be dead and fell back to sleep.

Not me, but my dad once gave the same speech in 3 languages according to my mum. In his sleep. Lol. He used to come up with all random sort of things - "be careful, there's a lion!!" Shouted at the top of his lungs nearly giving DM a heart attack. He also has sleep apnea, I don't know if that makes you more likely to talk?

"Tom, I'm freezing"

I was around 8 years old and knew nobody called Tom.

My mum was terrible for waking up like in shock and panicking or coming out with random stuff. One was " bongina where's the bongina gone?" She meant bonjela! Also noticed in this thread someone else has dreamt about bonjela . Another time she woke up around 7pm on a Sunday night and made us put our school uniforms on for the next day as we was late this went on for about 10 minutes we just laughed and refused to do it.

Loads. My DP sleep talks a lot. I don’t do it half as much but apparently I rather randomly asked him “Did you know that there’s a place called Rawalpindi?” He thought I had woken up from sleep and that this was one of my random and quite frankly bizarre conversations but then soon realised I was sleep talking because when he apparently asked me “What? Rawalpindi?” I responded quite sadly “Yeah, it’s where the Borrowers used to live”. I had no recollection of this in the morning 🙈

DH once leaned over and growled down my ear “Bastard’! then went back to sleep.

I do it often and can be quite mean if I've been drinking apparently. DP's favourite one to recite to all and sundry is me waking him up by slapping his arm and shouting "no!" He asked me what the matter was and I said "you know what you're doing. Dirty fucking leprechaun..."

DH frightened me (and him) to death by having a conversation with his long dead Granny in his sleep. In his dream she was talking to him from the fireplace, he woke me up and himself and his nightmare led to neither of us getting much sleep that night.

I have a lot of these. One of my favourites was when I woke DH up and told him that I had "worked out a formula for the cyclical nature of life" and then burst into tears because I couldn't remember it.

I also woke him up really urgently once shouting that I desperately needed my bag right at that moment. Apparently I was really lucid and said it couldn't wait until morning because it had a timer in it that I had forgotten to activate. I was feverishly looking for it - moving clothes and opening drawers and also said if it wasn't in the bedroom, it would be in the cellar.
DH duly got up and went to the cellar to look for my red leather bag with a flashing timer in it. He couldn't find it. Primarily because I don't own a red leather bag, but when he came back to bed I was sound asleep.

I also drew a really detailed picture in my sleep, of a cave and an escape tunnel. I had written in the bottom "Pillows - don't believe them if they say you were asleep"