Get all your shit in one sock

[thenewaveragebear1983]

Just read this expression on another thread- Genius! As in, teenage dd has failed to get all her shit in one sock - (disorganised)

Other current favourites-

Put your pom-poms down (used when people get a bit ranty and over passionate about stuff, stolen from Gwen stefani)

And ‘she looks like the cat’s just crapped in her handbag’ - when people get that sour faced, pissed off look. Also from mumsnet.

So go on, what are your classic expressions? I need a few more for my repertoire!

You lie like a cheap rug

She was all over him like a cheap suit

Her face looked like it had seen her arse and didn't like the size of it

Just been reminded of...
when someone gives you a poorly filled cup of tea; “oh the tide’s gone out!”

“As angry as a peanut on a stick”. Said once by a family member abc is now a favourite in our house hold. Not sure how angry the peanut was!

I was shitting over nine hedges - had diarrhoea.

Another one for diarrhoea - “Not as much the bottom falling out of my world, as the world falling out of my bottom!”

“He/she has more front than Blackpool” - he/she is a cheeky fucker.

As useful as a chocolate fire guard/ fire fighter/ teapot. To point out how useless someone or something is.

No skin off my nose.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

No shit Sherlock

You'd make a better door than a window.

She could cause a fight in an empty house.

When my DD was going through a particularly challenging phase.

The circus is missing a freak.
Face like a bulldog chewing a wasp/licking piss.
Looks like they fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch

I could eat a child's are though the bars of a cot.
I could eat a nun's arse through the bars of a convent!

We use 'lick and a promise' for a Wash at the sink!

"these pants attract everything but men and money." Said about pants with fluff/dog hair :)

S/He could start an argument in an empty house!

Rough as ten bears
She’s RAF (rough as..)
For when someone is drunk ‘he couldn’t say bread’

I once read somebody saying "she looked at me as if I'd walked into her house and pissed on the kids" That made me laugh.

I love the shit in the sock, and the skeleton in the biscuit tin!

It's 'rough as a badger's arse' in this house

'Just to the top' when someone's filling a glass of wine

Not my circus, not my monkeys

Like herding cats

Like pushing jelly up a hill

Shitting through the eye of a needle

Face like fizz

My two favourites

They’re a BOBFOC - body off baywatch face off crimewatch.

Tight as a gnats arse - penny pincher

“Mouth like a dogs bottom“ by the wonderful Roald Dahl. It suits my MIL to a tee.

Bat shit crazy

I've always been uncoordinated, throwing/catching etc, my Mum would say 'you're like a cow with a musket'.

Tighter than a submarine door

Tighter than a fish's gill

Wouldn't give you the steam off his pish

Wouldn't give you the snot off his hanky

I've seen more work in a Mexican village - referring to somebody who's lazy

Couldn't lie straight in bed on a ruler