Hilarious FB stealth boasts

[lovelyjubilly]

'I feel so guilty! I have taken my children out doing fun activities every day of the summer holidays so far for the past 3 weeks and today we are having a day at home. I feel so bad that they're going to be bored! Anyone else feeling guilty about having a day at home?'

Any other gems?

I hate the Instagram flamingo leg more than all the stealth boasting in the world. It's beyond ridiculous and literally no one stands like that in real life

There needs to be a counter revolution of failed kids and parents

I want in on this. DS2 has recently injured his leg so is struggling to get about. Tonight he had on his proper winter pj's as he was cold, stood up off the sofa but couldn't reach his crutches in time, went "ooooh", shook his pj leg and a giant turd fell out the bottom and onto the carpet, where the dog swiftly gobbled it up. #blessedbyturds #fuckssakewheresthedettol

"I'm so tired but I have to go shopping for my month in Bali"
Oh fuck right off you twat.

A friend has gained a large insta following and every single post now has a minimum of 9 hashtags always ending in #mylife#me

They cleaned the garage and had #tidy#garage#tidygarage#muchbetter#jobdone#chores#happyhubby#garagelife#tools#allclean#newroof#homeinspo#sunday#weekend#agoodjobdone#mylife#me

You cleaned a fucking garage! Fuck off!

#fuckssakewheresthedettol

If I see one more “Love My Life” status on Facebook I think I’ll explode and start writing home truths under these posts!

I literally saw someone write this status the other day because they were out with their friends, despite bitching solidly on Facebook for the last god knows how many months that the CSA are taking them to the cleaners due to lies their ex has told and they’ve had to sell half their stuff and haven’t even been able to see their child in over a year.

Like am I missing something? Your life according to your other 400 statuses, seems pretty sucky right now?

Quotes from a child’s teacher/headmasters remark in end of year report are especially when followed by a comment (by the OP) ‘....who knew he/she was so lovely/talented!.....’
Err, surely you did because you are the parent and you should know them better than anyone.

Just get to the point and post how proud you are without the hidden brags and faff.

We have friends and family all over the world, I post things I think they would like to see but obviously I am fb friends with old school buddies etc. Someone recently said they thought I stealth brag post and I was very upset, I really just thought I was sharing stuff (good and bad) that would be of moderate interest to those who love us. We don't have loads of stuff, no designer items or go on holidays to brag about bit some good things. I no longer post but have a messenger group for family......but a bit sad as even on reflection I do not feel it was stealth bragging and I am pleased by others good news and just scroll past the ran 30k, here I am "fat" in my size 8 posts!!

A friend has gained a large insta following and every single post now has a minimum of 9 hashtags always ending in #mylife#me

They cleaned the garage and had #tidy#garage#tidygarage#muchbetter#jobdone#chores#happyhubby#garagelife#tools#allclean#newroof#homeinspo#sunday#weekend#agoodjobdone#mylife#me

You cleaned a fucking garage! Fuck off!

This was about dry shampoo...DRY FUCKING SHAMPOO!

(And the brand is Collab...she wasn’t doing a company collab and NEEDED to do them all)

browneyes77, I'd cut that person some slack if they're enjoying themself for the first time in ages.

More than once, I’ve posted a supportive comment on FB for someone who was venting about their struggles with their child with ASD. She had loads of supportive comments. All very lovely, until she posted “Thanks everyone. I’m so lucky to have such lovely friends and acquaintances”.

Acquaintances?

I mean, we aren’t close friends, but it struck me as so weird that she felt she couldn’t say “I have such lovely friends”, presumably because she didn’t want her acquaintances to feel like they’d been upgraded.

That happened twice, and it made me feel so paranoid I’ve stopped the supportive comments

Old family friend sends a round robin every Christmas that reads like the worst brag fest: all her travels, children's achievements, wonderful amazing grandchildren. My kids read it just for entertainment.

Old family friend was a WW2 refugee, bullied at school, worked her socks off to become successful, heartbroken when she divorced, nervous breakdown, somehow became an optimist anyway. I don't mind the bragging once a year, when she just wants to celebrate all the good things in her life.

I have a fb friend who has been married for about 5 years now but tends to recycle various arty shit shots of her wedding on her profile. Endlessly.

A stealth boast is so obviously a cry for help - someone who needs the confirmation of others. Who still uses FB anyway?

Who still uses FB anyway?

Why @starlight13, is it illegal now? I wish someone had told me! Or do you cool kids prefer Instagram these days?

I have one of those. We all refer to her now as ‘Hashtag’. Prolific poster who posts photos of herself either working out with her PT, or in her designer clobber with every single item listed.....

‘Feeling amazing in my outfit today...#Chanel #LouisVuitton #stellamccartney #blessed! #lucky! #spoilt! #lovinglife!’ etc etc.

I’ve hidden her posts now so they don’t pop up on my timeline.

A lot of people use FB. Quite evidently. It's not a moral issue.

My FB friend posted a photo of her 3 kids on the summer hols, sitting round the dining table, each at a laptop with noise cancelling headphones and the phrase "no stopping us Clark's!"
We usually have this each school holiday. And if we have an impromptu day of school (INSET etc) she entitles it "study club!"
She would post photos of the children's artwork at age 2 or 3 telling us how detailed it is. How amazing they are. Her daughter (8) has decided to launch a baking website, selling cakes to order and told us how she coded her own website.
I actually worry about her mental health. She wouldn't let the kids have a lie In during the holidays and up each day at 7am. When their cubs group had a fundraising evening last month her kids couldn't go because "I'm a bad mummy because I make my children study before bed each night!" 6.30-7.30 Her daughter has a terrible stammer.

@whittling Flamingos do

That’s actually so sad Justgivemeasoddingname
I feel sorry for the children of these overbearing, needy-posting parents.
I’m sure most would be horrified to know what their parents share online.

I'd cut that person some slack if they're enjoying themself for the first time in ages.

Well as it happens it isn’t the first time. They’re out a lot. And they're off on holidays to places like Thailand all the time too. But that’s by the by and if they’re happy when they’re out etc then great, they deserve a break from the stress. Everyone deserves a break/holiday. I don’t begrudge them that!

But you’ve missed the point. If they’re happy great, then I’m happy for them as they are a decent person and deserve to be happy. But when you’ve watched them for months and months have a super hard time of it and posting every detail on Facebook on how shitty their life is, to suddenly turn round and use the old “Love my life” status doesn’t make any sense, given that they’ve made it very clear in every other status that they’ve not been loving life for a very long time! It’s just a strange status to put!

I have one of those. We all refer to her now as ‘Hashtag’.

Seriously, why are so many hashtags needed? I don’t get it. Instagram was bad enough but they’ve all crept onto Facebook now aswell!

Maybe I’m just not down with the kidz

neurotransmittens I totally agree. I just can't work out how much is her and how much her husband. She's a nice girl but almost too gushy. I think she's hiding something. Her kids constantly and I mean constantly watch her for reassurance.