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Original poster

Hilarious FB stealth boasts

491 replies

lovelyjubilly · 17/08/2018 17:44

'I feel so guilty! I have taken my children out doing fun activities every day of the summer holidays so far for the past 3 weeks and today we are having a day at home. I feel so bad that they're going to be bored! Anyone else feeling guilty about having a day at home?'

Confused

Any other gems?

OP posts:
Knittedfairies · 21/08/2018 19:44

Ah @Gigis... in this house a PhD is often referred to as a ‘Piled higher and Deeper’ - very apt for your stealth boaster.

MaisyPops · 21/08/2018 22:47

SchadenfreudePersonified
Grin Brilliant.

Gigis
It's all about the spin and how it's done.
I have friends who posts things like: can someone please remind me why I took a career break? I swear I'd rather be teaching 80 million year 8s than doing this PhD right now. #thesisproblems It's funny and self deprecating.

Then there's another friend who seems to think nobody else in the world has managed to adult and study so we get: So lucky I made it to my gym club tonight. Ladies you were the best. Love smashing it with my crew but now back to the PhD with a pot noodle for tea. What it would be to have a real meal but that's what happens when the PhD takes over.
Seriously STFU.

AynRandTheObjectivist · 21/08/2018 22:55

If you voluntarily eat Pot Noodles, you're not smart enough to do a PhD.

smigglepiggle · 21/08/2018 23:06

My sister gushes over her grown up kids and how they're all "best friends", and then I laugh and laugh as dniece calls me to tell me how much she's irritated her today (despite living three counties from her). Grin

Kokoloco · 22/08/2018 02:25

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Openup41 · 22/08/2018 10:12

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karyatide · 22/08/2018 10:48

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AynRandTheObjectivist · 22/08/2018 16:30

Which is awful and I’m glad I’m not a celeb, but why not just make your social media private and unsearchable?

Like it or not, it's a standard outlet in this day and age. And despite many people boasting about coming off social media as if it's an issue of morality, most people are on it and do want to be, for whatever purposes they choose.

CasanovaFrankenstein · 22/08/2018 18:31

Some of the true stealth boasts are pretty funny, but a lot of these are just over sharing!

I don't really mind if people get a bit over enthusiastic and bang on - might not be my thing but it seems fairly harmless.

Commenting "it's not a first" when someone says they got a 2:1 is just being a cunt though.

DULLDull · 23/08/2018 08:54

I discovered one of the school mums on Instagram the other day with an account name suggesting she's a designer. I was intrigued as I wasn't aware she was one. Took a look and it's all 'arty' photos of expensive items in her house which she name drops with various # posts. She's no more qualified to be a designer than I am. She also lives in a house entirely funded by her very wealthy family so it's little wonder it's full of £600 sinks and the like. Hmm

FirstOfHerName · 23/08/2018 14:05

#fannyadmin has posted again as it was her last day at work. Lots of photos of leaving gifts (naturally) and how sad she is to leave her "incredible" manager and "amazing" team. That would be the incredible manager and amazing team she's bitched about for the past several months...

Lorddenning1 · 25/08/2018 22:33

@Vinylsamso I would hate for you to see my Facebook :( all I post is memes of cats and how toddlers are arseholes Confused what am I hiding lol

Chickenwings85 · 27/08/2018 01:11

This is my favourite thread I've ever read on MN.
I started reading this one last week when I was in the depths of an awful mental health relapse, my mentality was that I'm a shit parent whose done nothing with her daughter all summer holiday and how I haven't took her here there and everywhere. I was feeling so low, I was in tears and almost at the point of wanting to end it all because I felt like I just wasn't good enough. Then I discovered this post and soon realised that the Facebook/Insta braggers clearly need to tell everyone how wonderful they are because they're trying to prove a point and impress others when in fact they're pissing everyone off. DP even said to me why do those people feel the need to brag so much? What is going on in their life that's so shit that they have to brag about every shitty thing. I agree with him.
Thanks to the OP and everyone who posted their stories, you have all made me feel a million times better just been reading that most of you have felt like I did at some point. You have all made me realize that I am a decent parent just like the rest of you and actually, we're all in this parenting thing together.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 27/08/2018 03:47

I’ve recently been posting pictures of our family holiday. Mainly so friends and family can have a look at what we’ve been up to as it is genuinely an amazing place and I’ve never been here before. I’m never likely to come back either, we had to save and save a small fortune. Couldn’t give a shit if anyone thinks I’m bragging. I never post stuff about myself and this really is such an amazing place and I know we’re really lucky to have been able to come.

I notice that a lot of the braggers have calmed down recently and there there don’t tend to be so many of the #lovemylife #gorgeouskids #hubs etc. Perhaps they’ve finally cottoned on to how chavtastic they looked.

daisychain01 · 27/08/2018 04:27

Ye gods, these FB posts re ind me of those freakin' round robins you get at Christmas with the roundup everyone is dying to read about how little Tarquin and Lavinia have passed all their GCSEs with A* and they're still only in primary school. At least the Christmas round robins only happen once a year, these are all year round. Another one who is reminded why I came off Fb years ago.

Chickenwings85 you have a lovely supportive DP. Fb is a magnet for attention seekers with low self-esteem trying to big themselves up.

MaisyPops · 27/08/2018 08:24

I have a new one to add. Results day.

Why do some teachers (on their closed profiles!) insist on posting: So proud of all my Year 11s today. I got 95% pass rate.Well done guys. You did me proud.

Really?!

  1. It's your private social media, not a school one. Your Y11s can't see the post.
  2. Nobody gives damn about what your GCSE class got except for your DH who is forced every year to listen to you after you've worked out your breakdown
  3. The results (contrary to some on MN and the government) are not CAUSED by the teacher. It is a PARTNERSHIP between teacher and student and wider school support so stop using social media ins vague 'look at what a great teacher I am' way.
  4. Shall we bet what your response would be if the class didn't do well? Because I'd take bets that you're one if those teachers where every strong year is down to your brilliance but any bad year is down to the students.

Maybe I'm being harsh, but nothing seems right about those statuses.

Kokoloco · 27/08/2018 08:27

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Kokoloco · 27/08/2018 08:27

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cheesemongery · 27/08/2018 09:28

I had a 'friend' who we called "Munchausens by Facebook", OMG DS has only gone and got chickenpox/measles/anthrax... The second time he got chickenpox (I know) I actually thought she was telling the truth so offered to get bits from the shops - popped a pack of nappies round, DS runs out to say hello, in nothing but a nappy, no spot in sight - she bellows at him - I told you to stay in the front room!!

When he finally got it at school, I really couldn't have given a shit.

It's not stealth boasting - she does a lot of that too - it's just odd!

fairgame84 · 27/08/2018 09:40

I had one of those. She used to post pictures of her kids in bed poorly and pictures of the medicines they were being given. They were always 'seriously ill' but never in hospital Hmm

cheesemongery · 27/08/2018 10:00

I had one of those. She used to post pictures of her kids in bed poorly and pictures of the medicines they were being given. They were always 'seriously ill' but never in hospital

It's really odd isn't it? I put it down to the 'group' we were in and all were first time mums apart from me. It was a race to see who could do what and get what first. Obviously it was massively attention seeking - and then you'd get the vague posting - just RUSHED DS down to A&E... followed by lots of OMG hun, you ok? 2 days later another post saying thank you everyone, we are home but exhausted and no mention of what was wrong.

I'm the first to shout out - DD isn't sleeping, has earache, can't find the fucking calpol anywhere, shops are shut anybody local I can borrow from? Excuse my French Grin

Cerseirys · 27/08/2018 10:09

Oh I have a good Munchausens by Facebook one!

Former colleague who always overshared posted a shot of himself in a hospital bed in LA, with stitches in his forehead and a pained expression, claiming he'd been the victim of a homophobic beating by the police. Cue lots of sympathy etc.

Only it comes out a few days later that he'd been caught vandalising a car, resisted arrest, and that's how he'd got injured. He was then charged with vandalism and for making false accusations and had to pay a substantial fine, or rather his parents did.

He was a minor YouTube celebrity so there was a fair bit of press coverage at the time. He spun it as the actions of a confused young man etc (he was about 26 so hardly a teen) and kept his job and millions of followers 🙄

nellyolsenscurl · 27/08/2018 10:53

Well I have the Munchausens Martyr Mum by Facebook and she makes it worthwhile! "The team hate me lol! Just got a call from my consultant saying I have meningitis/punctured lung/blood clot on the brain but I told them today is craft day at home (picture of the kids around the table doing crafts) so there is no way I will be going anywhere. My babies come FIRST!" Cue lots of "hun you are an amazing mummy, you need to look after your health" She will then reply with "yeah I know, but I have so many activities planned for the kids, would have to disappoint them #imamedicalrebel".

NataliaOsipova · 27/08/2018 11:00

What I don't get about all this FB boasting is this - if you know people even half reasonably well, you know what they do, what their spouse does, where they live. You may have been to their house. You know if their kids are at private school. Etc etc. So you have a reasonable idea of how well off they are. Therefore surely banging on as though you're Elon Musk when you're a maths teacher just looks faintly ridiculous to anyone around you? That's before you consider that a lot of people people who are actually wealthy generally spend a lot of time worrying about looking ostentatious and trying to be low key.......

Zoflorabore · 27/08/2018 11:03

Oh god this is my neighbour. She is my friend but when she gets on fb she changes.

She has over 1000 "friends" and I think she forgets sometimes that i am on there too and posts things like

" Lizzie liar has checked into x restaurant with fabulous hubby ( who she announced to fb two weeks previous was an arsehole and was getting a divorce ) "

I then see her out of the kitchen window putting the bins out in her pyjamas Grin

She does this a lot.

Also she has a staged area for photos of the dc. Let's just say she isn't houseproud and the house is like shit creek but every pic of the children is in a corner where she baby wipes the floor, puts her best ornaments in the background and usually a posh shopping bag. She actually told me this!!

I despair.