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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
FrayedHem · 15/08/2018 21:52

I remember one train journey from London to Glasgow was when Mark McManus was on the same coach. He was quite drunk happy to do autographs but my dad wouldn't go and get one.

FrayedHem · 15/08/2018 21:54

2nd class smoking coach obviously Grin

BrynhildurWhitemane · 15/08/2018 22:28

You don't have to be Scottish or Irish to want guests to leave your home happy after proper hospitality Grin

Interested in this thread?

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Willow2017 · 15/08/2018 22:44

That sounds familiar!

We cant leave a relative of mine without a bag full of tins of scones, buns, half a chocolate cake/pavlova and juice! Kids love going there they eat non stop!

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 15/08/2018 23:37

Next time (if there is one), take some fly cemetery. Sure to fill you up.

Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food
MoreProsecco · 15/08/2018 23:46

I want one now! Grin

Graphista · 15/08/2018 23:58

FrayedHem omg! My family would have LOVED to meet him! Why wouldn't your dad go?

"You don't have to be Scottish or Irish to want guests to leave your home happy after proper hospitality" indeed true - my ex fil is a Yorkshireman and from anecdotes his family were the same. I've also scouse, Geordie and Cornish friends with much the same attitude.

I'm craving strawberry tarts and fly cemetery's now I'll have to get dd pop to Aulds for me (I'm agoraphobic and unfortunately they don't deliver - hey maybe if they did they'd turn their fortunes around? Especially sending out to scots abroad!)

FrayedHem · 16/08/2018 00:48

Graphista because he's a Yorshireman Grin Not really, I think he was of the mind to let the man enjoy his cans in peace.

I asked my mum about Aulds as she immediately said they'd got too expensive. Then had a trip down memory lane about when my gran was manageress of a bakery. I looked it up on google and it's now a Greggs! My gran died in 1994 but how very dare they!

And the story of our great family scandal. The surname got changed at some point an O' was added but not legally. My maternal great-grandmother was very upset that her 2 daughters (no sons either) had married 2 brothers who she saw as not being good enough. When it came out that the surname had changed over time (I think it was when my grandpa's dad had died - he was born without an O' but married with one and all the children had O's) my maternal great-grandmother went apeshit shouting that my mum and her cousins were "all a bunch of bastards"!!

NameChange30 · 16/08/2018 02:18

“manageress”? Confused

FrayedHem · 16/08/2018 02:22

That's always what my gran referred to herself as and my mum does when she talks about that time.

ladymariner · 16/08/2018 07:32

What's wrong with 'manageress'?

AjasLipstick · 16/08/2018 07:43

Lady It's unnecessary and dated. No reason for it. Someone manages....they are a manager.

TiffinBox · 16/08/2018 07:44

Graphista I agree with you that bil is in a controlling relationship. He was recently offered an opportunity to gain qualifications in the industry he's been working in for 15 years. He's very good at his job but because he's unqualified he's experienced the salary cap. If he gets these qualifications, he can earn £50k+ and a lot more management positions will be open to him. He's turned it down because after talking to sil 'it's not right for their family'. He's still working in that industry unqualified and he's experiencing a lot of financial hardship but she won't let him qualify. I think it's because she failed all her G.C.S.E's and feels inadequate compared to him. He's got his masters qualifications but this second set of qualifications would really help his career. He'll do anything for a quiet life, he even said to dh that leaving her would be too much hassle so he wouldn't bother. Sad

PollyFlinderz · 16/08/2018 08:02

manageress”? confused

It doesn’t take a lot to confuse you.

PollyFlinderz · 16/08/2018 08:03

Lady It's unnecessary and dated. No reason for it. Someone manages....they are a manager

Right oh.

Willow2017 · 16/08/2018 08:32

Goog gravy!
If Frayeds gran was working in the 70s and 80s then her title would have been 'manageress' so its perfectly fine to say so.
Its not difficult to grasp. Why should they refer to her as something else? She was no doubt proud of her job.
Some peope are easily offended.

AjasLipstick · 16/08/2018 08:38

Willow whether Frayeds Gran was proud of her job title has nothing to do with anything.

It's an outdated expression. I was explaining that to the poster who asked what was wrong with the term.

Willow2017 · 16/08/2018 08:46

The term was used when the granny was working, that was her job title. Its how she and her her family referred to her and still do Its not up to anyone else to tell them they are wrong!

AjasLipstick · 16/08/2018 09:15

Willow we all know that term was common then. Don't need a history lesson.

I pointed out to the poster who asked that it's no longer an acceptable term. Not in the business world anyway.

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 16/08/2018 09:18

Have been following this thread with increasing incredulity at the OP's bizarre situation and the scorn been poured on it by a couple of posters. I've also had many happy memories of Auld's goodies (had totally forgotten about their macaroni pies - food of the gods!) but the snooty, PC scorn poured on the term "manageress" made me do a huge 🙄 and sums us the mindset of some folk nowadays. We all know what the term means and it was used in a particular time frame, hence it's a product of its time. No need for the snooty shit being poured on it.

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 16/08/2018 09:20

@AjasLipstick who cares if it's not used now, it was at the time referenced by the person who mentioned it. Zeitgeist and all that.

AjasLipstick · 16/08/2018 09:21

Dollar well the person who asked about it cared.

PollyFlinderz · 16/08/2018 09:25

Well, my sister in law is very happy to be an area Manageress covering many miles and quite a few shops for one of the few remaining chains of family bakeries left in Scotland.

QueenoftheSilverDollar12 · 16/08/2018 09:26

@AjasLipstick nobody asked about it. @AnotherEmma said "manageress" with a Confused face. So she's knows what it means-just didn't like it.

AjasLipstick · 16/08/2018 10:47

Dollar No. You're wrong. LadyMariner said "what's wrong with manageress?"