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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
nomilknosugarplease · 14/08/2018 09:22

At the ages of 11 and 12 I think they are old enough to decide they don’t like something

Breadsticksandhummus · 14/08/2018 09:26

agree, why wont they eat muesli or brown bread??

No idea, maybe the same reason my FIL won't eat pasta, rice, pizza or curry?

PollyFlinderz · 14/08/2018 09:28

PollyFlinderz aye Bon Accord is coming back, but it’s all health drinks now! Major disappointment for those of us who remember the excitement of the Bon Accord van bringing ginger sad

😂😂😂.

I asked my family and friends on FB about the cordial and there were replies from as far away as Australia and Canada. Without fail they all remembered it being something the Bairns got to drink only at Christmas and New Year and we’ve now got a really good going on. We’re currently laughing about my very dark husband being borrowed by some of the neighbours to go and first foot their Mum or their Granny so they could leave their own house and go next door to someone else’s. They shoved new dish towels and those wee mops for doing the dishes into his hands and said now go over the road to that hoose and say Happy New Year to the woman when she opens the door. Anyway one old Wifie was so taken by him she said oh come on in for yer New Year and an hour later he was still there telling her about where he came from. We had to go and get them. She’s even phoned her sister and said as soon as you’ve had yer first foot get over to me, I’ve got a surprise for you.

They were good days.

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Watchingtheworldgoby · 14/08/2018 09:30

I am in a very similar situation. Having learned the hard way, we bring shopping with us and store it in the bedroom. We literally go to the supermarket on the journey. Also bring toothpaste. The only thing we use when there is tea, coffee and the kettle. If we stay more than one night, we say we are going for a walk/playground and we drive to a restaurant/cafe. When we get back, nobody questions if we have eaten, they don’t actually care one way or the other. Our visits are few and far between these days, once every three to four months instead of every two months. Again I don’t think they are too bothered. On the rare occasion we have been offered food, it is not nice/cold and I have seen the preparation of raw meat and cooked meat beside each other and would rather do our own thing anyway.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 09:41

They were good days

They were! I remember running about my street on Hogmanay into the wee hours in and out of my neighbours houses, with all the other kids in the street. Would never happen now Sad

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 14/08/2018 09:59

That dinner portion is perfectly acceptable - how much would you eat in your house?!

No it isn't. Two teaspoons of veg plus a little bit of parsnip is an inadequate amount of vegetables, especially when we know the only fruit and veg being served is what they have with the meals so they're not going to be getting the five a day elsewhere. And five a day is a conservative estimate of the optimum amount for us, really.

If you think that's enough veg and it's all you'd eat yourself and/or give your kids, you need to rethink your ideas on nutrition.

BunnyBath · 14/08/2018 11:10

Lol! Well if you think your kids can't eat musli or brown bread, then you need to rethink your outlook on nutrition!

DarlingNikita · 14/08/2018 11:39

agree, why wont they eat muesli or brown bread??

I am 50 and won't eat either.

You and the OP's kids both need to grow up a bit.

youarenotkiddingme · 14/08/2018 11:44

I once took toothpaste with me when I stayed at a friends overnight.

She was ConfusedGrin and did point out I could have used hers.
I was BlushGrin because it's just my travel toothbrushes in their packet with toothpaste that comes like that when we do overnights.

I had DS travel toothbrush too 😂

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 14/08/2018 12:06

Lol! Well if you think your kids can't eat musli or brown bread, then you need to rethink your outlook on nutrition!

Didn't mention either. Perhaps you've got scurvy from your restricted vegetable intake and it's making you hallucinate.

And really, why are we talking like the DC eating muesli or brown bread would've made much difference here? They'd have been given portions sized for a Borrower, because this loaf of bread has to last a fortnight and we don't want to buy muesli again until 2027.

xwhoiamx · 14/08/2018 12:07

This thread is soo familiar! I had friends who ate like this and I'm sure this is the reason they could afford a huge house and fancy holidays. We'd stay with them for weekends sometimes and quickly learned to bring our own snacks and eat them in our room at night or we'd be starving. We never said anything but they did start to get funny with us always suggesting eating out as they 'couldn't afford it' and we could never explain why we felt the need to keep suggesting it. Awkward, but that was just how they ate and they clearly weren't hungry so perhaps we're just over eaters!

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 14/08/2018 12:08

You and the OP's kids both need to grow up a bit.

How so?

PrimalLass · 14/08/2018 12:25

agree, why wont they eat muesli or brown bread??

Because they don't like it perhaps?

It's not f-ing rocket science, is it?

cannotmakemymindup · 14/08/2018 12:46

Only people who potentially could have to much (the money or resources) can become pa, unsharing and unkind like the ops PIL. Like many others have said most of the worlds cultures are to feed guests well, share what little you have (as it is little often for many) and be incredibly hospitable.
I try to be like my own grandma and I massively overfeed people. The fridge is always packed for guests and I always over estimate how much to cook but definitely better to have leftovers than family and friends going home hungry. And everybody knows if you do drop by and mention you haven't eaten yet there's always something in my freezers that can be cooked for you. I'm only in my early thirties! When my family does get togethers the leftovers regularly look like another meal. Which we do usually eat the next day - save on cooking again, plus usually also driving home with lots of cakes and puddings. One time I stayed I was so worried about fitting into a dress for a friends wedding, at the weekend, as all the meals earlier that week had been celebration size meals!

Breadsticksandhummus · 14/08/2018 13:07

I love competitive under eating on MN.

Watchingtheworldgoby · 14/08/2018 13:08

Part of having (invited) guests in your house should be to treat them well and help them have an enjoyable stay in your home. It is basic manners really.

ShovingLeopard · 14/08/2018 13:34

You and the OP's kids both need to grow up a bit.

Why, because there are some food items they don't like?! Grin

Because, of course, no properly mature adult ever has any food dislikes, do they?

FiestaThenSiesta · 14/08/2018 13:46

@MrsAidanTurner, I’ve not read your other threads or GreatDucks other posts, so I have no idea if you’re right or not. But on this thread, you’ve bullied the poster and ganged up with others because you don’t agree with her posts, threatening to report her. She should be reporting you, because you’ve made a nasty personal attack on another poster.

MrsAidanTurner · 14/08/2018 14:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MammaSchwifty · 14/08/2018 14:01

Just the phrase 'slice of chicken' makes me shiver at the cold pallour of it all. Chicken should come off the bird in great steaming chunks, rich with basting fat

Bluntness100 · 14/08/2018 14:06

That how prolific she is on in law threads and how unhelpful she is, The bottom line is mn is supposed to be helpful, and her posts and comments are not on in law threads

She has every right to be as prolific as she wants. And no her posts don't need to be "helpful" . She is allowed to post her opinion like the rest of us. To challenge, to discuss. Helpful is subjective anyone. This is a discussion forum.and the aim is to discuss.

What Is against talk guidelines is personal attacks on posters in this manner, ganging up and bullying thrm off threads.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 14/08/2018 14:19

Lol! Well if you think your kids can't eat musli or brown bread, then you need to rethink your outlook on nutrition!

Lol. Bearing in mind there is no difference between brown and white nutritionally, you need to rethink your outlook on judging people by their choice of bread.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 14/08/2018 14:28

My parents can be like this; I'm used to it but the grandchildren aren't and need more than just minute portions of brunch and dinner at random times. There has always been underlying food issues with them.

I've had to forcibly shop, then take over their kitchen to provide adequate nutrition whenever we stay. They will hover over me and protest at everything I do.

There are also many strange rituals within the kitchen, certain equipment can only be used for certain meals, the blunt knife must be used at all times - the newer utility knife or the paring knife are the wrong knives to use for peeling and chopping vegetables.

The prepared ingredients must be put into specific plastic bowls before cooking. If you prepare 'too much' they won't fit but you are not allowed to use the larger sized bowl as prepared carrots MUST go in their normal bowl.

Even if only the children are eating the salad and vegetables must be prepared how they insist it is done and cut to the right size and right angle. It's amazing how upset someone gets if you put the chopped up green parts of the spring onion in the salad that only the children are eating!

The crockery is the same - plates only for fish, plates for hot food, cold food and specifically for curries or pasta plus plates for best. I didn't realise most families have only one or two sets of plates.

MoreProsecco · 14/08/2018 14:42

IncrediblySturdyPjamas - as a dietitian, I can tell you that there is a different between white and whole grain types of bread nutritionally- it's called fibre Wink

gamerchick · 14/08/2018 14:59

IncrediblySturdyPjamas - as a dietitian, I can tell you that there is a different between white and whole grain types of bread nutritionally- it's called fibre

Yeah one makes you fart lots and the other doesn't. I do not do well on brown bread me Angry