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Staying at in-laws with dc and there is no food

960 replies

daytimemom · 11/08/2018 16:30

Arrived at in-laws with DH (their son) and our two dc’s. For context, they are very well off. Live in huge house in the country, spend six months a year on cruises, have new car etc.

This is the first time we have visited them in their new house. Normally they stay at our house where we cook meals for them, provide wine and snacks and generally be very hospitable. They certainly enjoy all our food and drink.

This is what they served DH and I for dinner; two small roast potato’s, one small parsnip, teaspoon of peas and carrots, three slices of chicken. Our dc who are 11 and 12 had the same but with one roast potato rather than two. Dessert was one scoop of ice cream. DH asked if he could have another scoop but was told no as the carton (think Ben & Jerry’s small sized carton) had to last them a week.

By evening the dc were ravenous. I asked mil if dc could have a slice of toast or cereal. Was told they only had muesli and one small loaf of brown seeded bread. DC do not like either. I asked if there was any fruit was told no. DH asked if there was a bag of crisps, again no.

I’m not proud of this but DH and I went through the fridge and cupboards trying to find something to eat but the cupboards were literally bare.

DH went out this morning to buy some bread, cheese etc (which fil helped himself too) and I suggested to mil we go out to dinner but she insisted she is cooking. Dreading another tiny meal & the dc’s being hungry.

DH said they are just being tight by not spending money on food and drink. I quite frankly want to go home. Simple things like they knew we were coming but the bathroom had no towels or soap, no mirror or lamp in guest bedroom. Could they not have bought some cornflakes & snacks knowing most kids don’t eat muesli!

They have always been mean with money, poor DH as a uni student was penniless living off toast and pawning his stuff while his parents refused and financial assistance.

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 15/08/2018 09:36

No one really brings towels when they go to visit their parents, do they?! Shock

Icanttakemuchmore · 15/08/2018 09:58

I don't like muesli and I wouldn't eat it either! I certainly wouldn't give it to my granddaughter as I would always ensure there were other cereals in that I know she likes.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 15/08/2018 12:28

Muesli tastes like the death of all hope, I wouldn't feed it to livestock.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Oysterbabe · 15/08/2018 12:53

I love muesli.

MonaLisaSimpson · 15/08/2018 12:58

I like muesli only if I've made it myself so it consists mainly of sultanas

hilzilla · 15/08/2018 15:46

Tiffinbox- YOU WIN !

TiffinBox · 15/08/2018 15:53

Grin you haven't lived if you've not been invited to watch someone eat lunch instead of actually eating it with them!

FrayedHem · 15/08/2018 16:06

TiffinBox Were you sitting at the table with them or was there a special viewers chair? A bit like when you take children for swimming lessons.

TiffinBox · 15/08/2018 16:11

FrayedHem we were all in the living room as the kids were watching T.V. whilst eating. I sat across from them in an armchair whilst ds was snoozing in the pram.

Aprilshowersinaugust · 15/08/2018 16:21

Ex mil always served a big fry up - I am vegi and always got 1 fried egg. Once saw fil fry it in bacon fatty pan and told him sorry but I couldn't eat it. He threw the pan at me and told me to make my own. Never got the extras that they got, as they were to go with the bacon +sausages apparently . Had bread and butter while they had hash browns, mushrooms, tomatoes and fried bread.

FrayedHem · 15/08/2018 17:16

TiffinBox So you got to watch kid's tv AND the family eating? Quite the entertainers.

Did you get any of the goodies you'd brought with you? Assuming they were edible!

TiffinBox · 15/08/2018 17:28

Grin I stayed about half an hour which was long enough to watch them stuff their faces & watch a bit of cbeebies!

The chocolates and biscuits that I had brought as gifts were never to be seen again.

FrayedHem · 15/08/2018 18:15

Don't cbeebies have a lunchtime song? I hope you didn't have to endure that as well.

shadypines · 15/08/2018 18:28

I'd like to see their faces if they went on one of their cruises and there was bugger all to eat! Beggars belief OP!

Mummyoflittledragon · 15/08/2018 18:45

Tiffin
Ok you win but on the upside CBeebies was a bit of training for the future. As is going without lunch in preparation of when you have a poorly toddler and a screaming baby. It’ll put hairs on your chest and all that!

How odd they must be that you’d think they’d go nc for not feeding you. Your sil has obviously had a similar education to mine except she chose the screaming and shouting at you non resolution route. I believe the school she went to is called “school of how not to deal with conflict”. My birth family went there actually. The school emblem was a bit long so they shortened it to nihil conflictu auxilium. 🤪

SchadenfreudePersonified · 15/08/2018 19:03

agree, why wont they eat muesli or brown bread??

I am 50 and won't eat either.

You and the OP's kids both need to grow up a bit.

Why do so many people think that others aren't entitled to have likes and dislikes.

Personally, I don't mind brown bread tr muesli - but I can't bear parsnips and would devour my own teeth before I would eat ox liver.

loveka · 15/08/2018 19:14

My birth mother (didn't bring me up but we were part of the same family) commonly witheld food from me, as a child and when I grew up.

The last time she did it was the day my grandmother(who did bring me up) died. I was staying with my mum and she cooked and ate, with her husband, a full meal. My partner and I were starving, we had been at the hospital all day. It was so awful I stopped all contact afterwards.

The next morning there was no breakfast either. She made coffee and didn't offer us any.

There was clearly a deeply psychological reason for it, but it is so hurtful.

Graphista · 15/08/2018 19:53

Tiffin I'd have said something but that's just me (and being old enough I rarely gaf!)

AprilShowers - I'm also veggie - that's shit! I've had various people be puzzled as to what I eat if having a fry up - but as you say there's plenty can be in a veggie fry up! My mum even keeps a small pan just for veggie frying. Ie she still uses it regularly but only for veggie stuff. I like - fried eggs, hash browns or tattie scones, mushrooms, tomatoes & beans. If I'm home I'll maybe do quorn bacon, or LMC sausages too. No reason veggies can't eat just as well unhealthily as meat eaters 😂😂

"Ok you win but on the upside CBeebies was a bit of training for the future. As is going without lunch in preparation of when you have a poorly toddler and a screaming baby. It’ll put hairs on your chest and all that!" So true! I don't think I got a hot drink or hot meal at home till dd was about 5! 😂😂(sorry tiffin)

MummyofLittleDragon - I think my family went to the state comp down the road of your school. School motto - conflictu Rex est! Or possibly sequitur semper!

loveka - so sorry you went through that.

TiffinBox · 15/08/2018 20:43

They have form for this type of behaviour, they are incredibly selfish and self absorbed. At a family picnic they refused to share their food with everybody and they're bringing their kids to be like this. Bil didn't use to be like this until he married sil and she has slowly turned him away from his family. Dh used to see bil weekly for catch ups and now it's a few times a year.

Loopytiles · 15/08/2018 20:51

One of my grandparents has major food issues and would serve tiny portions, and comment on your weight/appetite if you ate it all or asked for any more. Whatever th weather my parents would suggest a walk after dinner, we’d go to the chippie, avoid fish and vinegar, chew gum, stay outdoors a bit, then go back in!

Another close relative had alcohol problems and there was never more than one meal’s worth of food in, and some fusty cereal, only booze. But got offended if we brought any food. When they quit drinking for a few years things improved.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 15/08/2018 21:18

Another Scot of Irish descent here, and like other pps just cannot fathom how anyone could allow a guest in your house to be hungry !!!! Shock

My gran wasn't happy unless you staggered from her house like the " not one more water thin mint " guy! "What do you mean you don't want anything to eat?! Look at you, you're wasting away! (healthy size 12). I tell you what, I've a side of gammon in here just going to waste! I'll whip you up a 12 stack sandwich while I quickly prep and bake 24 scones. Then, when you eat only 2 of the butter and jam saturated scones, having manfully attempted the pillar of sarnies, I will cry and exclaim that the scones must have been no good, and I'll start rifling through the cupboards for something else you will like. No, I will not listen to your protests, I know you're just being polite.
What about pizza? Everyone likes pizza! Look, I can add some extra mushroons, ham, chicken, bacon....roast beef?? That'll be grand!
And while that's cooking, here are 5 yoyo biscuits and some pink wafers. Eat up, eat up! It'll all go to waste! .....
Are you sure that's all you can manage? (mournful)
(Brightens) Oh, you can take it all home with you!!!! I'll find a poly bag! (Shovels sarnies/ pizza/ yoyos/ wafers and scones into co-op plaggy bag. Pauses)
Oh, and here's a tin of spam- I'll never eat it. And half a pound of grapes. And 3 blue ribands- I don't even like them, you might as well have them"

Every. Time. One time as I was leaving she shoved a sirloin steak in my pocket!!!!!

Consequently, I would be mortified if I under provided for any guest! I love hosting and always go OTT Angry

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 15/08/2018 21:19

Not very sure why I'm angry, wasn't meant to be Blush

Graphista · 15/08/2018 21:28

Tiffin that sounds worryingly like bil in a controlling relationship.

Platypus - oh my god yes to being sent away with carry bags full of food! Several aunties and my mum still do this! What my grans used to give us for the journey back down south "cos they BR buffet cars charge a FORTUNE" was enough to feed the 5000 - which has just sparked another memory - swapping items with other scots on the same train!

My bro once didn't realise he'd had an extra slice roll shoved in his pocket till he sat on it!

Loopytiles · 15/08/2018 21:39
Grin
Graphista · 15/08/2018 21:44

It's been a while (agoraphobia) but last time I left my mothers it was with a bag full of:

Tattie scones
Fruit scones
Pan loaf - yep a whole loaf!
Crisps
Pomegranates (long story)
Chocolate
2 litre bottle lucozade (dd apparently looked 'peaked')

There's only me and dd at home!