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Original poster

Sons friend coming on holiday with us

212 replies

cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 09:56

Oh my I need advice!! Our sons friend is coming on holiday with us. Thing is, how on earth do we split the bills??? They are both 17. My son has a part time job whilst at college and his friend is in an apprenticeship job. When we go out for evening meals, breakfast, whatever, how would you split the bill?? We don't want to be bank rolling them both. We only have a set amount of spending money. Obviously we drink more alcohol than them but a soft drink isn't that much cheaper when in Europe!! My head is spinning!!! X

OP posts:
SaturdaySauv · 05/08/2018 18:58

Yes- I do a over the top loud laugh when I’m embarrassed and unsure of what to say.
I would certainly expect to pay for a guest on holiday but given you weren’t prepared to do that it’s good you made that clear in advance to save the child invited from embarrassment.

HonkyWonkWoman · 05/08/2018 18:59

She's definately been on the "pop"!!!!!!😂

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 19:02

#HonkyWonkWoman not yet...wait...

OP posts:
IfYouDontImagineNothingHappens · 05/08/2018 19:04

Cleaner upper- if my child was invited yes I would be offering to pay.

If I invited I would be expecting to pay though.

OrchidInTheSun · 05/08/2018 19:06

I really hope my kids don't make friends with any of your kids cleanerupper

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 19:09

Me too orchidinthesun can't be paying for some else's child/nearly adults all the time. I'd be slagging the parents off for not offering a bean 🙄.

OP posts:
BlueberryPud · 05/08/2018 19:11

"Would your son like to come on holiday with us to keep my son company? By the way, I'll need cash to cover cafes/restaurants/food."

I just couldn't bring myself to say it.

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 19:12

Back soon, this is too funny to miss. Need to recharge the battery....carry on...

OP posts:
DoAsYouWouldBeMumBy · 05/08/2018 19:13

I would expect to pay for all meals etc taken when you're all together, but if they go off for the day together or go out for drinks or whatever, that they would pay themselves. I think it would be a bit crap to take money off a 17 year old Confused

Since you've planned to be really generous anyway, I don't think the extra 25% would be that much?

namechangedtoday15 · 05/08/2018 19:13

Actually OP there are several more options but the most common alternative (to being minted or a scrounger) is that you factor the cost of inviting someone along for YOUR (indirect) benefit - as you said upthread, it's so your son will still come away with you but not be bored - into the cost of the holiday, including meals etc. If you can afford it, great. If you can't, you don't invite them.

If my child was invited on a holiday I'd get the cost sorted out before I accepted. As most people have said, i would offer a contribution, if that was accepted, fab. If not, as a pp suggested, you find a way of paying for something (e.g. wine as suggested, or pre booking water park / nice meal in restaurant etc).

You asked what the etiquette was and you've had 99% of people saying that you pay. As someone else said, if you don't want to accept that, then it begs the question why you bothered posting in the first place unless you're a Daily Fail journo

Poisongirl81 · 05/08/2018 19:18

I disagree. If someone took my kid on holiday for a week I would give the parents about £200 to cover food and my ds about £50 spends.

CantThinkOfAnotherNameAgain · 05/08/2018 19:19

If I had a 17 year old going away with a friend and his family I'd make sure he had enough to pay for his own food and drink or I'd directly give an amount to the parents to cover it.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 05/08/2018 19:21

You'd not put your hand in your pocket for a bloody bottle of water

Oh come on we have all said that he should be taking his own spending money and that when he’s out with your DS they should pay for whatever they choose to do. We’ve just said that when you take them for a meal you should pay.

IfNotNowThenWhen1 · 05/08/2018 19:23

So would I poison but if I invited a friend of my child on holiday I would assume that meant I was feeding them!

butlerswharf · 05/08/2018 19:37

If he's invited on a family holiday then surely you pay for his meals! And then hopefully his parents give him some spending money for souvenirs etc

forgivenminds · 05/08/2018 19:40

I haven't read full thread but are you saying you're asking your 17 year old son who is still in education and probably paid minimum wage to pay for his food too ? Does he pay for all his food at home and even when you go out as a family ?

SanFranBear · 05/08/2018 19:50

if he's running out (by doing boy things)

What on earth does this mean? Boy things?!

ChocolateWombat · 05/08/2018 20:07

It's fine to ask a child's friend to come away with you and expect some kind of contribution towards accommodation/food or whatever IF you make that expectation clear when issuing the invitation. You MUST do that at the point of issuing the invitation and it's not reasonable to do it just before going on holiday.

Inviting a child is different to inviting an adult to come away with you. Children are not financially independent and so if you invite them to something you expect to pay for them - if you can't afford to, you just do t ask them.........and all this, 'I'm not made of money and can't pay for other children'....well, no-one is obliged to invite other children to join them on holiday - if you don't want to pay for them, then don't ask them.

We have had other children come away with us. We have paid for the accommodation, meals out, food in the accommodation, days out and entertainment. Children always had some spending money with them - one or two had obviously been instructed by their parents to offer to pay for things like ice creams, but I don't think we usually accepted unless it meant a lot to them. Our DC have also been invited away on holiday. The hosts have paid for accommodation and other stuff too - some of those holidays have been pretty cheap without big expense for the host (absolutely fine) and others have invoked lots if expensive stuff - as someone invited, you go along with what the hosts plans are and enjoy anything offered in terms of food, outings etc, whether simple and free or fancy and expensive.

Op, if you didn't plan to pay for the guest, I don't know why you invited them, and if you wanted money,mid don't know why you didn't specify upfront - that kind of arrangement would be fine, if you made it clear and gave an idea if the rough costs involved.

You may now won a cheap or a very expensive holiday - the guest child's family really do t know and not having agree to pay for certain things, it would be very tricky to ask for money at this late stage - pretty rude as its now too late to pull out. I think you need to accept you will need to pay for food - if that means you need to eat in more to afford it, so be it. I don't think you need to pay for 17 year old nights out on their own, but if you go on a family day out, you should.

Next time, think ahead more and either communicate clearly unfortunately if you want a contribution (fine) or don't ask a friend.

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 20:12

Still laughing, you're all making a very enjoyable night for us. 😂👏👏👏👏😂. This site is hilarious 😂👏👏👏👏👏👏😂😂

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 05/08/2018 20:30

If you didn't actually want to hear what people thought then why bother asking? You clearly knew you were going to make him pay for his meals so what's the point in the whole thread?

BlueberryPud · 05/08/2018 20:37

Still laughing, you're all making a very enjoyable night for us

Are you saying it's a made up story for your entertainment?

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 20:48

The absolute point of this post was to ask what would be a reasonable price to pay for the food bill for a 17 year old. Everything else has been paid for by us. It's not an all inclusive 🙄. But I must admit, what started out as a genuine post has made my day, week, month, year blah blah blah. The majority of the posts are just odd. You invited therefore you pay the lot WTAF! 😂. I pity some of you I really do, The Royal Family (tv programme not the queen 🙄) has a lot in common with what I'm reading. There are some very sensible people saying they'd send money for food, but the rest of you are just odd!!! God help you if you ever ask if a mate wants to come on holiday.. that overdraft will take some settling. I'm not asking for £2 per £20 meal!! 😂😂. Get off your donkeys and go get an ice cream preferably wearing your kiiss me quick hat. At least, thank god, there are some sensible people on this site. You offered-you pay, ffs!!! Maybe went a bit overboard there 😂😂😂

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 05/08/2018 20:51

Was going to post to say a very sensible i wouldn't expect someone to pay for my child and equally wouldnt invite someones child on holiday and expect them to pay. So you meet in the middle and no one is grabby or taking advantage.

Anyhow i see you have turned nasty. I am off to read a fairy story to my 4yo. Thinking 3 billy goats gruff...

Original poster
cleanerupper · 05/08/2018 20:54

Excellent choice 🐐

OP posts:
BlueberryPud · 05/08/2018 20:55

There are some very sensible people saying they'd send money for food, but the rest of you are just odd!!!

I think most if not all of us would offer. I've always offered,.sometimes it's been accepted and sometimes not.
I've had parents of my daughter's friends send them with a couple of hundred quid, and some turn up with a tenner in their purse.
But if you're the one doing the inviting, you have to be prepared
that it might not happen - and be prepared to pay.
I think that's all everyone's saying.

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