Sons friend coming on holiday with us

[cleanerupper]

Oh my I need advice!! Our sons friend is coming on holiday with us. Thing is, how on earth do we split the bills??? They are both 17. My son has a part time job whilst at college and his friend is in an apprenticeship job. When we go out for evening meals, breakfast, whatever, how would you split the bill?? We don't want to be bank rolling them both. We only have a set amount of spending money. Obviously we drink more alcohol than them but a soft drink isn't that much cheaper when in Europe!! My head is spinning!!! X

Why don’t you suggest to your son that he and his friend pay the restaurant bill one night (and you and dh drink tapwater that night, or have a seperate tab). Then your son can work it out how he wants with his friend, they get to feel the pride of settling the bill, and its a chunk of the expense.

I would expect to pay for son plus friend except for if the 2 of them go off and do their own thing in which case they use their own spending money.

Ok everyone, stand down it's all sorted. After reading the posts I asked the financial question (yes I was very apprehensive). My call got a very loud laughing response and a OMG!! The parents are giving their son his spending money for all trips/food/drink etc etc. Jet skis were mentioned amongst other things that he'd like to do so he will have plenty of money. All sorted 👏👏👏👏. Thank you everyone x

Great but doesn't that still leave the question of how to split it?

That’s great, what a relief. How will you know though how much he has left (especially if he’s living it up on jet skis...). If you choose a restaurant and he can’t afford it what would happen?

Parents have said he will pay his fair share which we can easily gauge and have also said that if he's running out (by doing boy things) they will send him some more (online banking). We're not going to extravagant restaurants and if we did that'd be our choice so of course we'd pay. I'm just so relieved that his food money has been accounted for plus a fair amount of spending money.

As it should be - glad the parents aren’t CFs!

I assume the friends parents would give him money to pay for at least one meal and his own drinks. Think you should have a conversation with your son about this and then both of them together.

Very odd to expect a non-earning 17yo to pay for their own food
I don't get where you're coming from at all op, this holiday is going to be super awkward & the poor lad is gonna wish he'd never gone

When my son was 16 and was invited by his friends dad to to spend a week in Spain with them I gave him £100 to give friend's dad towards his food,and he had his own money that he'd saved from his part time job on top to spend on drinks and entertainment.When he came home he had nearly all his money left, as his friend's dad had generously paid for absolutely everything! Result! When I thanked him he said it was his absolute pleasure as it meant he didn't have to do the things with his son that he didn't like doing and got to relax a bit while his son{and mine) had the best time.He also mentioned taking him away with them again the next year as well but sadly the boys drifted apart once they started different colleges.What can I say,my son's a fool!

It's nice his parents are essentially writing you a blank cheque but one of you is going to have to suggest a figure at some point! Your idea of not extravagant might be their idea of "we could feed a family of 4 for a week on this", especially at current exchange rates.

Have to agree OP, I think you've put the parents of your son's friend in a really awkward position that a few days before the holiday, you've spoken to them to sort out finances. Unless they're completely CF, there is nothing else they could have said is there? How awkward that you had to suggest / they had to set out that they'd send extra money if he was running out when you said up thread they don't have lots of money. Its a really uncomfortable situation.

I think you've had a real lesson here - don't ask a friend unless you can afford to pay for them.

God I'm embarrassed for everyone involved! I'm sure they would have sent their son with a couple of hundred euros but now they are stressing that you have basically said you won't pay for his food!
You must have the hide of a rhino OP !
Anyway, you posted in etiquette, and the etiquette is you invite =you feed, so you know for next time.

Did you give them a figure? I bet they're shitting themselves that he'll be asking for hundreds more pounds half way through the holiday. You've put them in a really awkward position. You should have made it clear when asking him to come.

My call got a very loud laughing response and a OMG

Incidentally this is how I react if I am shocked and overcompensating.

What we need now is a thread from one of the parents in a flap asking how much is reasonable to send him with and we can all post over there and tell her how much you think is right.

God I'm embarrassed for everyone involved!

It's surprising how an ever-worsening thread can tie your stomach in a knot.

I think at least £2000 would suffice, Ive a lifestyle I'm accustomed to 😂😂. Need to take money where I can. My universal credit will soon run out. We're in a caravan in Benidorm. There's no air con so I need the money to buy an air con unit, that's if I can't pinch one from somewhere. I'll be wandering around saying "happy days" to everyone and looking in a skip now again. So now you know. £2k is absolute btw

Which bit of that was supposed to be funny? Because it's not.

I'm not being funny, just open and honest, like everyone else 🙁

If they want to go off on their own then they fund those meals.

However if you are eating as a family then you should pay.

You don't seem to get it OP. If you invite someone to join your family holiday unless explicitly said when inviting them it is implied that living costs like food, entrance to theme: water parks that you all do together is included. It is massively unreasonable to spring it on them just before the holiday.

Have you been on the el plonko cleanerupper?

I'm more surprised at the fact that no-one has picked the OP up on her boast that the fact her son is nice is a 'huge credit' to the way she has brought him up. It must get very uncomfortable constantly patting yourself on the back.

Is that a joke about universal credit? How on earth could you afford a holiday abroad on UC?

You are all either extremely fortunate and money isn't an issue at all (which I don't have an issue with at all) OR are scroungers, if someone invites your 17 year old on holiday, you say, great a free all inclusive holiday!! You crack on son!! 👏👏 we've paid for travel/accommodation why should a 17 year olds parents sit back doing high fives!! Arrogant and down right rude to expect a completely free holiday, are you saying you'd not offer a penny?! We asked so we pay?!?! I never said we'd pay for everything. If I was asking if your child would like come, no wait, I wouldn't. You'd not put your hand in your pocket for a bloody bottle of water! 😂😂.