Sons friend coming on holiday with us

[cleanerupper]

Oh my I need advice!! Our sons friend is coming on holiday with us. Thing is, how on earth do we split the bills??? They are both 17. My son has a part time job whilst at college and his friend is in an apprenticeship job. When we go out for evening meals, breakfast, whatever, how would you split the bill?? We don't want to be bank rolling them both. We only have a set amount of spending money. Obviously we drink more alcohol than them but a soft drink isn't that much cheaper when in Europe!! My head is spinning!!! X

Have you also paid for the friends flight and accomodation?
This is quite awkward!
Would you have charged your son for meals out etc. if his friend had not been coming with you?
My Dgd was invited away by her boyfriends family. They paid for everything!
I pretty much think that if YOU invite a teenager away with you, in effect to help with your family holiday dynamic, then you should find a way to pay for all meals and drinks when they are with you.
When they go off together, which they probably will be doing, then they pay for themselves.
OP it's only money, don't spoil one of your sons, (possibly) last family holidays with you, because of it. Let it be a great memory for him.

I'm a bit confused. How on earth am I expected to pay for everything. There are a lot of "you invited, you pay the lot" comments. I'm my life I've never expected anyone to pay for me or my kids! We pay our own way. The next time I get an invite from our friends to go out, I won't take any money. They invited me..... I can only say there must be some very rich people out there in cyber world

Inviting someone (a child) on your family holiday is completely different to friends inviting you for a day out.

There's no way to get out of this. You invited the friend so you'll have to bite the bullet and pay for his meals as well. Hopefully his parents might offer you a contribution, but you can't expect that.

Look at it this way—if you invited someone to dinner in your home would you expect them to pay for the food?

I'd expect you to pay for a 17 year old's meals if you invited him on holiday unless you explicitly said he'd be paying for food when you invited him.

Right now my son is only 12.
When he is older,I would only invite one of his friends on our family holiday if we could afford to pay for another person,as if he was another son.

Will you always be eating together? I would have expected this age group to go off and do their own thing, and sort out their own food a lot of the time. Have you discussed how your days will most likely take shape? If you Know that the boys will be out and about it might solve the problem for you - surely the invited friend wouldn't expect spending money from you.

I understand how this situation has come about and think you are getting a bit of a hard time, but I think you need to have a chat with your son about the practicalities.

We're away at the moment, DD invited a friend, I'm paying for accommodating, travel and food, the friend has spending money for herself and the odd drink or ice cream.The friend wouldn't have been invited if I couldn't afford to pay for her.

Same on days out unaccompanied friends are paid for, days out with another family are Dutch.

If your friends are "treating" you to a day out, then no you don't have to take any money.
You are (or gave the impression that you are) treating your son's friends to a holiday. So he will not be expecting to pay.

As PP pointed out, you did this for your son's benefit so why be mean about it?

Not everything. But meals yes. You should have either discussed and agreed a contribution at the time of invite/booking, or pay for meals.

This isn't about being rich, this is about your lack of forward planning and considerations. It's unlikely the 17 year olds would choose pricey restaurants etc.

You just have to compramise...buy breakfast/lunches from supermarkets etc rather than eat out.

The issue is not making it a condition at the time of booking.

friend

If you're paying for the holiday, it seems only reasonable that they pay for their own food, expenses etc. Didn't your DS's friend's parents offer something towards his costs? I would have.

You should have made this very clear BEFORE you invited him. Unless they've asked, I'm betting they think you'll be paying for meals and excursions at the very least.

When we invited daughters friends to come with us, we paid for everything food, drinks, transport, entrance fees, while they were with us. Their own money was for shopping or individual jaunts.

I would pay for 100%, but maybe they could pay for one meal out (a reasonably priced restaurant) between them for everyone as a thank you?

If we go on holiday with our earning kids, we work on the basis that they may pick up the bill for the odd meal or drinks or something, but nothing formalised as you suggest - and they're certainly earning more than your son and his friend.

We have taken friends of DS away now a few times and are again this week. They pay their own flight and bring spending money but we pay accommodation cost (would be the same anyway really) and food and drinks. If they go out on their own they pay their own way.

I'm on the 'you pay' side, unless you agree with the parents now that you'll need a contribution for meals, and agree a set amount. You can't ask the 17 y/o's to pay 25% of your meals out tbh. Would you be asking your son to pay 12.5% if his friend wasn't there?

The best you can do now is to pay for travel and meals if they go with you, but they pay for themselves if they don't.

I would not expect the friend to pay for anything other than extras eg drinks if he and your son were out at a bar, nightclub entrance etc. Any family outings,all meals and drinks should be paid for by you in my opinion.

We took one of DS friends on holiday last summer. They were both 15 so not earning. We paid for DS and the flights and accommodation for his friend. His mum gave me £100 towards food (unasked for but gratefully received) but we paid for most of his meals. He and DS each had some spending money so they went out for pizza, cokes, snacks etc. I’d do the same in your circs

You invited him on holiday and said you would pay, yes?

In this situation I would send my DS with his own spending money for shit he wanted to buy, but would assume you were paying for food. Are you actually charging your 17 year old to have dinner with you?

This has got to be a wind up

I would think it very rude to expect a 17 year old guest to pay for his meals. If he comes with you and hasn't any money, you either have to self cater or pay for him. He's your guest on a family holiday. Would you expect your son to pay for his meals as a guest with his friend's family?

You should have stipulated when the invite was offered.

You can't charge now but if you intend to you need to say now so the friend can back out. Unless you're going to make him starve?

You also can't expect your son to pay for meals either, he needs to take spends for himself and that's it. Doesn't look like you thought this through.

There was a thread like this recently but about a cinema trip and having to pay for the invited friend.

I think it s on both sets of parents - the friend parents should offer money for the holiday, but you also need to expect to be paying for them. Don’t invite kids on holidays if you can’t afford to pay for them. At every meal are you going to split the bill??