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Original poster

Been so stupid

220 replies

AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 07:10

DH and I have decided to try to conceive but want to wait until January - various reasons, maximising mat leave and a holiday booked.
Coil came out yesterday. I had completely forgotten and had sex the night before. Do I get the MAP? I'm so stupid.

OP posts:
Overreaction1 · 26/10/2017 11:26

Eliza you sound mad. It's perfectly acceptable to prevent a pregnancy as it is not convenient.
Yes no one can fall pregnant exactly when they want to, or if you do you'd be very lucky to hit the exact month.
But it's entirely reasonable to delay when you want to conceive until the best time for you Hmm family planning has been around since the 60s it's not a new concept.

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 11:27

But the OP is making life decisions based on a miniscule chance she might be pregnant? How is that different?

No she isn't. She's asking should she get the map or not because of her holiday.

WomblingThree · 26/10/2017 11:27

@User21, having an opinion is one thing, broadcasting to a load of people who aren’t remotely interested is another. Why on earth did you feel the need to share your opinion. No one knows your friends (or cares) 🙄

Interested in this thread?

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Families
Overreaction1 · 26/10/2017 11:31

Actually Eliza I'm sorry that may have been a little harsh and I'm sorry if you are having a tough time ttc that must be heartbreaking.
But you must keep that separate from women managing their fertility and childbearing
Op enjoy your holiday fwiw I think you have done the right thing.

MargaretCavendish · 26/10/2017 11:33

From what I've read so far, you don't really sound as though you are in the right place to be having a baby if I'm honest.

Wtf? What a nonsensical and horrible thing to say. And why do women who plan their pregnancies get all this stuff about whether or not they're fit? Say on mumsnet that you're about to give birth to your sixth set of unplanned twins despite living in a box and you'll be told that you're amazing. Hint at the idea that you have any doubts, ambivalence or even practical concerns about having a planned, wanted child that you're perfectly capable of providing for and some posters will, inexplicably, insist that you're incapable of motherhood.

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 11:34

No pipistrell. The OP is not making decisions on what to do if she might be pregnant.

She was deciding on whether

  1. to take a high dose single use contraceptive, to cover her for the day before she had her coil out, and switching to condoms, or

  2. crossing her fingers and hoping it would have been okay over the transitional period, and switching to condoms.

Oleanderrules · 26/10/2017 11:36

Are you are journo ? Ridiculous postConfused

TalkinBoutWhat · 26/10/2017 11:37

User21 - Hopefully you have nothing to do with those women. They deserve far better than having a friend like you.

MargaretCavendish · 26/10/2017 11:41

I just wanted to also echo that if you do end up having problems (and I hope you won't! And odds are you won't!), OP, there will be nothing to regret about taking the morning after pill today. I think I took the MAP maybe 4/5 times in my 20s. Now I'm trying to have a baby and keep failing, I don't think 'oh, I threw away my only chances then!', I think 'well, turns out that was a waste of my time (and on a couple of occasions money). If I can't get a viable pregnancy in nearly 18 months of well-timed intercourse, turns out I probably wasn't going to get knocked up and carry to term from that time that I had sex six days after being sick one day. Probably could have not bothered with that Christmas Eve waiting in a walk-in clinic...'

user21 · 26/10/2017 11:46

Yeah, me and 99% of other posts Womble
Apologies, if it wasn't the time or place, however, it's not your job to monitor my posts.

It was entirely my prerogative and decision to end that friendship stitch

user21 · 26/10/2017 11:48

Oh I don't talkin
I expect my friends to have morals and respect for a life and I choose them wisely.

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 11:52

It was entirely my prerogative and decision to end that friendship stitch

Thank fuck for that. Your friends are so much better of without you in their lives. Judging and looking down on them.

MadgeMak · 26/10/2017 11:52

User21 needs to pipe down.

stitchglitched · 26/10/2017 11:54

Absolutely, and it sounds like that friend had a lucky escape. But there was nothing for you to forgive.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 26/10/2017 11:58

I expect my friends to have morals and respect for a life

What life is that? You aren’t suggesting for one moment that a potential one day old blastocyst is a life? Oh dear.

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 12:00

I expect my friends to have morals and respect for a life and I choose them wisely

As you have any friends with your attitude!

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 12:04

Hiding This tangent spun off user21 encouraging the OP to get the MAP, and telling her it wasn't a termination.

The judgement came in, because she mentioned she disapproved of a former friends' terminations. I think she was trying to emphasis her point that the MAP isn't a termination. Anyway she was not advocating the right to life of blastocysts.

lovelystar · 26/10/2017 12:17

It's only certain kinds of fish you can't eat most are safe, plus alcohol isn't the be all and end all I find in different countries they have nicer soft drinks and smoothies/mocktails etc :) and if you ARE pregnant (not sure what chances would be first time) then how nice would it be to have a nice relaxing holiday knowing that you've got that little bean inside of you and your lives will be changing alot. Gives you time to get your head around it :) Me and my partner were a bit silly with contraception and I was thinking the same kind of thoughts of you but now i honestly couldn't imagine being any happier or more excited about our arrival!

user21 · 26/10/2017 12:34

Yes.
I encouraged the use of the MAP.

It's having a termination because 'the timing was a few months out' that I have a problem with.
You have no idea of the circumstances surrounding my friends situation and yet you criticise my thoughts on it.

Overreaction1 · 26/10/2017 12:37

User - disagree with termination if you want we can all have an opinion.
But you don't get a say in whether another woman carries and delivers a baby.
With friends like you ....Hmm

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 12:38

You have no idea of the circumstances surrounding my friends situation and yet you criticise my thoughts on it.

Yes, because it had nothing to do with you and what you think is right or not.

user21 · 26/10/2017 12:44

I don't disagree with termination and have had one myself.

I know I don't get to decide on whether a woman carries a baby or not. Where have I said that? However, I do get to decide whether I continue a friendship with someone for whatever reason.

That is my prerogative and I object tom being told to 'pipe down'. Who do you think you are?

Overreaction1 · 26/10/2017 12:50

But you won't be friends with them because they decide to terminate?
You had a termination but you can decide if other people's reasons are valid and if they aren't (according to you) you withdraw friendship?
Pipe down was about right I think you should....

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 12:57

User I’m confused here. You said earlier that you haven’t forgiven friends for terminating but now saying that you have terminated?

Are you quite well?

FlowerPot1234 · 26/10/2017 12:59

user21
I don't disagree with termination and have had one myself.

If you don't disagree with termination, why do you end friendships with women who have done as you have done?