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Original poster

Been so stupid

220 replies

AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 07:10

DH and I have decided to try to conceive but want to wait until January - various reasons, maximising mat leave and a holiday booked.
Coil came out yesterday. I had completely forgotten and had sex the night before. Do I get the MAP? I'm so stupid.

OP posts:
Mishappening · 26/10/2017 09:16

As above, it does seem to be a bit of an overreaction TBH to think your holiday might be ruined by the absence of fish and booze. I am sure that you will see that as time goes by. Have a lovely holiday either way - I am sure you will.

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 09:16

Using a pill to prevent a fertilised embryo from implanting is nothing like an abortion.

Completely agreed. However, the MAP doesn't even bloody do that. And yet so many threads about it kick off as if the OP had suggested kicking kittens.

barkinginessex · 26/10/2017 09:16

Taking the MAP is not having an abortion! Ridiculous and uneducated comment.
OP take the MAP, have your holiday and then start TTC. The chance of you being pregnant so soon after having the coil removed is minimal but I'd take it just in case.
Those saying the OP isn't mature enough to be a mother can fuck right off and take your judgment elsewhere. Horrible thing to say.
So much for women supporting women...Hmm

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MargaretCavendish · 26/10/2017 09:16

I genuinely can't understand why this thread has upset people? OP isn't saying that she thinks she'll get pregnant instantly in January, just that she doesn't want to fall pregnant now. What's wrong with that?

I see you've already decided to take MAP - just wanted to point out that at this point you really need to do it ASAP, since it's already over 24 hours since you had sex, so the sooner you do it the more effective it will be. I know it's a hassle but it is worth doing it in your lunch break rather than after work, for instance. Of course odds are low, but can completely understand wanting to put your mind at rest.

SubordinateThatClause · 26/10/2017 09:18

Geez what a coven of bitches. Whatever you decide, OP, enjoy your holiday! Anxiety is exhausting and you don’t need complications on a trip like that. It sounds like an amazing experience and one that would be difficult to recreate at a later date when you have kids.

This is a WWYD post I believe? Not a ‘jump in and bitch in my face’ thread. If I was in your shoes, I would definitely take the MAP.

lottieandmia22 · 26/10/2017 09:18

It depends how fertile you are. Do you get pregnant easily? Some people try for months before they get pregnant.

BastardGoDarkly · 26/10/2017 09:21

Thank god this thread had turned round by the time I'd caught up, I've been Shock at the sheer fuckwitted twattery some of you have come out with, nasty, plain nasty.

Op we've all taken contraception to prevent pregnancy until its convenient, take the MAP, and maybe get a 3 month depo jab to see you through to new year?

MargaretCavendish · 26/10/2017 09:21

It depends how fertile you are. Do you get pregnant easily? Some people try for months before they get pregnant.

a) she clearly doesn't know this yet, like everyone before they start trying
b) Yes, some people do. I've been trying for well over a year, for instance. However, I don't see how it would have changed my problem to have started three months earlier than I wanted to? That's a problem that OP either will or (hopefully) won't face, whenever she starts. She's talking about putting it off until after Christmas, not for three years.

OutComeTheWolves · 26/10/2017 09:22

This thread is ridiculous.

As someone who took a little while to conceive, I struggled a bit to get my head around your assertion that now wouldn't be the right time to get pregnant, but January would be fine ... Then I remembered a little thing called empathy; just because it wouldn't be my decision, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't do it!

It's totally fine to want to enjoy a v expensive holiday and to want to maximise your maternity leave. Just take the MAP and enjoy your holiday. I'd do anything for a fortnight in the Indian Ocean just drinking and sunbathing!

As for the poster who compared the map to an abortion. Ignore them - they're either stupid, a complete twat or have an extremely shocking understanding of basic biology/linguistics.

MargaretCavendish · 26/10/2017 09:22

Op we've all taken contraception to prevent pregnancy until its convenient, take the MAP, and maybe get a 3 month depo jab to see you through to new year?

Definitely, definitely don't do that. When fertility returns after even a short spell on depo is completely unpredictable.

lottieandmia22 · 26/10/2017 09:24

Well she may know - that isn’t clear from the thread.

In any case I do think people have been really horrible to the OP. It’s a shame mumsnet has become nasty these days.

The main problem with the MAP is that it’s not very reliable. This was said to me by my GP.

Scabbersley · 26/10/2017 09:25

Another one who booked a holiday of a lifetime in Nepal. I trained for 6 months to get fit enough to walk up a mountain as well. Discovered I was pg 3 months into training!

Dd1 was born on the day that we would have been at the foot of everest. Lost all the deposit. Obviously never regretted it at all. Dd1 has always been very sporty and fit though!

Mishappening · 26/10/2017 09:27

Maybe you should also take into consideration that you may later find yourself taking a long while to conceive and might feel that taking the MAP now is something that might then make you feel uncomfortable.

Conception is not an exact art and it will happen (or not) as nature wills. Planned parenthood is only real up to a point.

CherriesInTheSnow · 26/10/2017 09:29

Ah I assumed the concern was going to be due to the higher risk of miscarriage if you conceive in the first cycle or 2 after having the coil removed? I think it could be sensible to wait to avoid complications, although (and you will want to fact check me here) I believe the uterine lining is quite thin when the coil is in and so is not good at supporting a pregnancy anyway, so unlikely to conceive even if an egg was fertilised.

I wouldn't make a big deal of it or think it will ruin a holiday, just make your choice based on whether you want to be pregnant right now.

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 09:29

If the OP turns out to have difficulty conceiving, she'll look back and know that... she wasted £20 on having peace of mind!

I find it unlikely that a woman with difficulty conceiving would miraculously get pregnant from one bout of sex the day before/after having a coil out. Especially if this was a Mirena.

notacooldad · 26/10/2017 09:33

Sorry what?? If you can’t eat fish and drink alcohol then the holiday is wasted, someone needs to hand you a grip OP

I wonder, if you would speak to someone to their face like that? Is there honestly any reason to be so unpleasant?

I would say the same to a friend in real life. I would also say why can't you eat fish?
I know you are supposed to avoid shell fish but is it a thing now to avoid all fish?

Overreaction1 · 26/10/2017 09:34

The odds are you will probably be fine. But then again you could be pregnant.
If you need that reassurance and don't want to be pregnant go and get the map and enjoy your last child free holiday. Early pregnancy can cause sickness which wouldn't be great on holiday.
There's some very judgey people on here.

Butterymuffin · 26/10/2017 09:34

It's so, so unlikely you'd get pregnant from this that I would just get on with your life tbh. Your holiday will be great no matter what. Do you have travel insurance for it already? There are all sorts of unexpected things that could impact on a luxury holiday (one of you could slip and break a leg, for example) all more likely than the scenario where you find out you're pregnant and then also become ill from it. You can't plan for everything.

IslandNiles · 26/10/2017 09:40

She asked what I would do, I'd get on and enjoy the holiday and go without fish and alcohol. I'm not addicted to either so it wouldn't be a hardship

Well aren't you just a smug, self-satisfied paragon of virtue 🙄

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 09:41

Thank you to all the lovely people who have posted. Clearly I oucld eat fish, but again thanks to Jose who understood that what I meant was doing a holiday like that with the attached concerns of being pregnant.

I have just taken the MAP and feeling much better. I am also loaded with condoms!

Again thank you to people for being kind to someone who made a mistake.

OP posts:
Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 09:42

I also love that it has been suggested that I am both an alcoholic and addicted to fish. That's not a leap of logic at all...

OP posts:
pipistrell · 26/10/2017 09:47

I dunno OP, your username suggests fish addiction may be a problem...

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 09:47

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TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 09:47

I hope it all goes well! Have a lovely time, not panicking about being pregnant! Grin

OP, if you should have any delay in January, please, please do not look back and second guess your decision this week. If you should encounter problems, it will mean that you took the MAP without needing to, that's all.

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