Been so stupid

[AyeAyeFishyPie]

DH and I have decided to try to conceive but want to wait until January - various reasons, maximising mat leave and a holiday booked.
Coil came out yesterday. I had completely forgotten and had sex the night before. Do I get the MAP? I'm so stupid.

ThroughThick you are being disingenuous and very silly now. Do you say "I was going to go to the shops but it's raining so I aborted the trip"? I doubt it. The way you used the word abort made you sound like a goady fucker.

If you're suffering from anxiety it's probably even more important to address your expectations of TTC to plan. You might be one of those lucky ones bastards who fall pregnant on their first month of trying. Statistically, you may well not be and it can take a lot longer even with no fertility issues. Consider how you'd cope with your plans not working out and be aware of that possibility now.

OP for me this is a no brainer, take the MAP and put your mind at rest (and I say this as someone who had huge issues conceiving!). I wouldn’t relish the idea of a tee total holiday either and a bigger concern for me would be feeling exhausted and nauseous if I was newly pregnancy. Chances are you aren’t pregnant, but this way you’re definitely not! You have the rest of your life to make accommodations for your little one, for now enjoy your holiday and (hopefully) your last months of freedom (not at all jealous...)

* What is more important, seafood and alcohol or your child ?*

For now it’s the holiday isn’t it? What’s wrong with that?

There is no child.

And yes abort was a word purposefully used to be a right GF.

OP take the MAP and enjoy your holiday carefree.

Mass jealousy and judginess here.

Some of the responses here are horrible.

OP you shouldn't have to consider other people's problems when making decisions for YOUR life.

The facts are just be aware that TTC doesn't always go to plan. It could take more than a while. If your willing to potentially wait longer that you initially planned then get the MAP.

I understand wanting to enjoy a holiday you have paid to it's fullest potential. I found out I was pregnant during a dream holiday and it completely changed it for me. Granted I wouldn't change my life now for the world and I'm very happy but a small part of me wishes I could have had that experience worry free.

Good luck whatever you decide!

What sort of coil was it? Some of the responses in here are ridiculous. People plan pregnancies, and people also take the MAP if they don't want to be pregnant at a particular time in their life, there is nothing wrong with that. Or are people really saying that taking the MAP is ok as long as the reason isn't because you've paid for a holiday?!

OP, take the MAP and enjoy your holiday. I discovered I was pregnant at the beginning of a 6 week study trip and it really took some if the fun away.

You could delay TTC until after the holiday.

I have no problem with the op using the map as contraception. However if she struggles to ttc in a couple of months she may well wonder what if

Fucking hell, lay off the OP. It’s not a thread about her imagined future infertility, anyone else’s future infertility or bigger problems than wanting to enjoy a holiday of a lifetime.

[shocked]

This thread!

Some of you are absolutely bonkers!! Special mention to the posters who used the word "abort" and "child".

Weirdos.

Also tbh half the threads on here are total "non-problems". It is totally fine to want to put off pregnancy until after the holiday. Totally fine.

I really hope I would never meet some of you in real life. OP - we talk about women having choice. This is YOURchoice. Take the pill and relax. No need for what ifs down the line. It is part of life. Have a fab holiday and good luck for the future.

Aye Aye, you have had some awful replies on this post some people are beyond ridiculous.

I would be looking forward to that holiday so much if I were you so I don’t think you are being unreasonable. I sailed through two pregnancies but my Sister was so unwell for most hers there is no way she could have gone on holiday an hours drive away let alone to the Indian Ocean. Take the MAP, go enjoy your amazing holiday then come back and start ttc when it suits your and your dh.

Good luck!

The op has quite a strange set of priorities. A holiday is is not ruined if you can't eat fish and drink alcohol. It's a slight issue but nothing more.

Nice to see such twattery so early in the morning

OP I’d get the MAP in your shoes just to put your mind at rest.

flyingpigs whatever the OP chooses to prioritise or not, is not for you to judge. We are all different.

I think you've had some slightly OTT responses here OP. The one thing I will say is that pregnancy (if and when) it does happen, will always be inconvenient for something, whether it's because you've got a wedding coming up and no nice dresses fit, or a holiday, or because you can't drink at Christmas etc. So if you put TTC off until such a time as the pregnancy doesn't impact on your day to day life in the meanwhile then you will be waiting for ever!

In your position, I'd consider where I was in my cycle, and then I'd take the MAP to decreases the odds of pregnancy.

I don't care what your reasons are for preferring ttc in January over November, it is always okay for women to use contraception.

The morning-after pill is [i]not[/i] a termination pill, it is (shite) contraception. It works by making cervical mucus less hospitable to sperm and delaying ovulation.

Morally, taking the morning-after pill after having the coil out is like starting any other oral contraceptive the next day.

On the conception boards absolutely loads of people talk about timing ttc for holidays/events they want to drink at. It's completely reasonable to want to maximise your enjoyment of a five grand holiday, who wouldn't? Everyone who's ever used contraception has put off conceiving for their own convenience.

What the hell is with some of these posters?

OP, go and get the MAP just to be sure. I can completely understand your concerns and issues. Some posters here are being very reactionary.

Using a pill to prevent a fertilised embryo from implanting is nothing like an abortion.

I have had IVF a number of times. Each time I had one embryo put back. I don’t know what happened to the others. Am I a dreadful person too? Those embryos were 5 days old, older than the op’s potential embryo.

People keep all sorts of factors in mind when deciding to ttc. The op is quite within her rights to take the MAP. This is what reproductive choices are.

I say this as someone who tried for over 5 years to conceive naturally and had three rounds of ivf.

go and get the MAP op and then enjoy your holiday! mistakes happen, don't beat yourself up about nothing and don't let some of these awful responses bother you

It is a shame you are so anxious, what is it with all the stress layed onto pregnant women these days? I was pregnant in Mexico, only found out after I had spent 2 weeks happily drinking cocktails and eating anything at all.

Not sure why you can't eat seafood, anyway?

I would not take the morning after pill, as if it is fate it's fat, and what if you end up struggling to conceive later and regret this decision? It is pretty much how I got pregnant (hence the cocktails in Mexico)

Starting to relax a bit would probably do you good.

Maybe yoga, to help you relax and control your breathing.

Also, it won't be your last good holiday ever, promise! Once kids are post toddler age, you can do great trips all together.

I desperately want to tell you to breathe!

She asked what I would do, I'd get on and enjoy the holiday and go without fish and alcohol. I'm not addicted to either so it wouldn't be a hardship.