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Original poster

Been so stupid

220 replies

AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 07:10

DH and I have decided to try to conceive but want to wait until January - various reasons, maximising mat leave and a holiday booked.
Coil came out yesterday. I had completely forgotten and had sex the night before. Do I get the MAP? I'm so stupid.

OP posts:
Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 09:52

Thanks Tara. Absolutely - I can see it would be very easy to start thinking that I ruined my only chance etc...

OP posts:
HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 26/10/2017 09:52

Just a question to all the people saying that ‘it’s fate’ and ‘why would you love a baby in 6 months time but not now’, I’m assuming you don’t use any contraception at all then? And if you do, why? Surely it’s fate and if you use contraceptives then you are preventing a pregnancy which, according to some on their thread, is exactly the same as an abortion.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 26/10/2017 09:55

Oh and I have taken the pill and the MAP in the past.
I now know that I will never have a baby.
The two are utterly unrelated. I don’t sit here weeping that if only I hadn’t taken the MAP then there is a tiny chance I could have had a baby.

Also, I love the sound of your holiday and would be very pissed off if I couldn’t have cocktails. Wanting to enjoy a part of the holiday fully does not make you an alcoholic, it’s part of what you have paid for.

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Families
Eliza9917 · 26/10/2017 10:04

I've only read the first few replies.

When (if) you get to 22m in with no sign of a baby, you really wouldn't give a fuck about a holiday.

From what I've read so far, you don't really sound as though you are in the right place to be having a baby if I'm honest. You come across as thought its something to just 'get' because you've decided to have one. TTC doesn't work that way for everyone unfortunately. And an inconvenience. Babies, when they come along, don't adhere to your schedule either.

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 10:08

That is unfair Eliza. The OP is just starting off ttc soon and obviously doesn’t know how long it will take. She’s just paid 5k for a holiday, of course she’s going to take that into account right now.

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 10:09

I organised having our children in order to optimise parental leave, and around my DH's professional qualifications and moving house.

Had I better let social services know I'm not ready to have the kids?

TroutySnouts · 26/10/2017 10:13

OP, please don’t let any of these nasty responses make you feel bad. You haven’t done anything to feel guilty about and the morning after pill really isn’t a huge deal.

We are fortunate enough to live in a society where women get some choice about when not to get pregnant. Nothing wrong at all with delaying it a few months because it’d be better for you.

Take the MAP, enjoy your holiday and ignore these nasty dickbags

pigeondujour · 26/10/2017 10:20

When (if) you get to 22m in with no sign of a baby, you really wouldn't give a fuck about a holiday.

But right now she does. Your problems aren't everyone else's problems. She could fall pregnant in January, couldn't she? Struggling to conceive doesn't give you the right to decide who's deserving of pregnancy and be an arse about it.

KanyeWesticle · 26/10/2017 10:22

I'd do a test in a month or so, and take precautions in the meantime.
Adapt the holiday slightly if you know you are pregnant.

I couldn't forgive myself if I took the MAP and then struggled to conceive, the "what if's" would eat away at me.

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 10:22

I’m agog that you would get the MAP three months before you had decided to start trying for a baby

Why, do you not understand? Woman wants to get pregnant next year, not this year. Is that difficult in some way?

OP, just go to Boots and get the map. Job done.

MsGameandWatching · 26/10/2017 10:36

You come across as thought its something to just 'get' because you've decided to have one.

Bollocks.

HidingBehindTheWallpaper · 26/10/2017 10:37

When (if) you get to 22m in with no sign of a baby, you really wouldn't give a fuck about a holiday.

Well here I am 5 years in and no sign of a baby. Do I regret taking contraception and the MAP when I was too young and not in a financial situation to have a baby?

Not for one minute.

stitchglitched · 26/10/2017 10:38

Sorry you have had so many awful responses on this thread OP. FWIW I would have taken the MAP too in your position. You have no way of knowing how your body would react to being pregnant and it might not just be a case of avoiding alcohol. For me, pregnancy is having severe HG for 40 weeks and I wouldn't have even been able to go down the road, let alone round the world! Enjoy your holiday.

pipistrell · 26/10/2017 10:40

For this reason, messyjessy

I couldn't forgive myself if I took the MAP and then struggled to conceive, the "what if's" would eat away at me.

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 10:42

I couldn't forgive myself if I took the MAP and then struggled to conceive, the "what if's" would eat away at me

Doesn't make the slightest sense. The chances of being pregnant a day after coil removal are tiny. Beyond tiny. If you had trouble concieving 3 months later all it would mean is that you are even surer that you wouldn't have been pregnant then.
Do people even understand what the map is and how pregnancy works?

user21 · 26/10/2017 10:43

Get the MAP
Christ, it's not like you're terminating!

I have never forgiven friends for doing that btw

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 10:47

Really user? And it was your business because....

pipistrell · 26/10/2017 10:48

Doesn't matter if it makes sense or not! Fears, worries and anxieties are often irrational!

messyjessy17 · 26/10/2017 10:55

Doesn't matter if it makes sense or not! Fears, worries and anxieties are often irrational!

Of course it matters! When its irrational, you do not make major life decisions based on those fears. You have a word with yourself about how ridiculous such a notion is and make a sensible choice based on reality.
And you don't try and give someone else irrational notions as well.

TaraCarter · 26/10/2017 10:56

Generally, factual information does help with anxiety and what-ifs, pipistrell

I suspect most of the people who think they would regret it later are laboring under the misapprehension that taking the MAP is like a very, very, very early termination.

It's not. If it was, it would have a higher effectiveness rate.

user21 · 26/10/2017 11:05

I didn't say it was my business Pandora but that doesn't stop me having an opinion.

stitchglitched · 26/10/2017 11:21

It isn't your place to 'forgive' anyone who made a decision about their body that had absolutely nothing to do with you. Who do you think you are?

PandorasXbox · 26/10/2017 11:23

Do you know the exact ins and outs to why your friend(s) terminated User?

pipistrell · 26/10/2017 11:25

When its irrational, you do not make major life decisions based on those fears

But the OP is making life decisions based on a miniscule chance she might be pregnant? How is that different?

WomblingThree · 26/10/2017 11:25

Jesus Christ there are some terminally stupid people on this thread. A lot of you could do with education yourselves about how the female body works, especially those who are in possession of one.

The MAP is not an abortificant, nor does it cause infertility. I honestly can’t believe some women are so clueless about how things work. Along with the snidey undertones that because some people are infertile, everyone else should just accept any pregnancy, this thread is just unreal.