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Original poster

Been so stupid

220 replies

AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 07:10

DH and I have decided to try to conceive but want to wait until January - various reasons, maximising mat leave and a holiday booked.
Coil came out yesterday. I had completely forgotten and had sex the night before. Do I get the MAP? I'm so stupid.

OP posts:
user789653241 · 26/10/2017 08:07

If you can't eat seafood when pregnant, what do you think people do living on the mainly fish diet? Confused

MrLovebucket · 26/10/2017 08:08

A bit OTT to use the word "abort" re: the MAP ThroughThick Hmm At most the embryo will be 72 hours old. IS this WWYD or a fundamental Christian meeting?

I had HG with my first pregnancy. I struggled to get from the sofa to the toilet I felt so ill. There's no way I could have flown to an island in the Indian ocean at that point so any holiday would have had to be cancelled.

Littlechocola · 26/10/2017 08:09

I don’t understand people’s reactions on this thread!

Op, I’d take the map just to be on the safe side.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
TinyTear · 26/10/2017 08:10

Life doesn't work that way. oh, I want a child in September (are you a teacher?) so I will shag in January...

Have you tried before? Do you know if you will get pregnant easily? Have miscarriages? Not get pregnant for months and months?

And you can eat fish when you are pregnant... what a question?

HeteronormativeHaybales · 26/10/2017 08:13

OP thanks the poster called Trouty? Something fishy going on here Hmm Grin

OP, sorry you've had a rough time from some posters, but especially those who haven't had an easy road to conceiving may well find these sorts of considerations a little bit difficult to take, and on a site like this this is something it would have been sensible to be aware of. I understand your logic, and 100% support your right to take the MAP for whatever reason you damn well please, but openly pitting a potential conception against an expensive holiday really isn't a tremendously good look, especially to people who have struggled.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/10/2017 08:13

So MrLove when in a space film you hear "abort the mission" you think it's referring to a woman having an abortion rather than "let's stop this now before it goes any further". I'm standing by the word in the meaning I meant.

Itsonkyme · 26/10/2017 08:14

If you don't want to risk being pregnant at the "wrong time" then get the MAP
Doubt you're pregnant anyway but to make sure, why not?

Teddygirlonce · 26/10/2017 08:15

Just wondering how easy it is to conceive 'to plan'? Not sure it is really. Nature doesn't tend to work like that. Would say that the more likely you are to try to conceive to a timetable the less likely it is to happen in reality.

MsGameandWatching · 26/10/2017 08:19

Hmm, I think there was something rather passive aggressive about the use of that word on this thread and in this context but hopefully I am wrong.

SpotAGuillemot · 26/10/2017 08:24

Seriously, give the op a break. It's not big or clever to all just pile on saying the same thing.

If you're still there op I had similar - was due to get married in March and then do a 3 week trek through Nepal for honeymoon. We knew we wanted to start trying for a baby when we got home. In November a condom split. We ummed and erred about MAP, decided we'd risk it.

I had to buy a new wedding dress to fit bump, 3 weeks in Nepal became a week in the Lakes and ds1 is now 5 Grin. I'm probably still not ready to be a parent though, although I'm not sure it's because I'm immature as suggested by pp about op.

If you definitely don't want to be pregnant now get MAP. It would change your holiday if you want to spend it eating, drinking, hiking, doing water sports etc.

flyingpigsinclover · 26/10/2017 08:24

What is more important, seafood and alcohol or your child ?

SpotAGuillemot · 26/10/2017 08:26

Ffs, it's not a child yet! Everyone who is all pro choice guilt tripping op for having perceived trivial reasons for MAP.

NerrSnerr · 26/10/2017 08:28

There are some seriously harsh responses here. The OP doesn’t want to be pregnant yet and of course that’s fine. It’s HER body.

Take the MAP and enjoy your holiday and good luck with TTC.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 26/10/2017 08:28

Think what you like MsGame

MsGameandWatching · 26/10/2017 08:29

You know those tediously regular threads about how nasty MN is these days and how it never used to be like that? The responses on this thread are a perfect example of why people think that.

putdownyourphone · 26/10/2017 08:29

People are so harsh. Just get the MAP. I wish I had gone one last big holiday before having kids, once you have them you can wave goodbye to relaxing holidays!

Are people on this thread who are giving the OP a hard time genuinely saying that if they were in the same position they wouldn't take the MAP??

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 08:32

OK I'm back. Can I just say thank you to everyone who has been so kind when I have made a mistake. I suffer from severe anxiety and some of here responses have been so out of order - especially one asking me if I would abort due to he wrong eye colour.
I'm aware this is a sensitive subject but some of the responses are disgraceful.

OP posts:
AdalindSchade · 26/10/2017 08:33

Ffs the MAP is nothing like abortion

MsGameandWatching · 26/10/2017 08:33

What is more important, seafood and alcohol or your child ?

What child? Confused

Original poster
AyeAyeFishyPie · 26/10/2017 08:33

Thanks spot - you are very lovely. As is MsGame.

OP posts:
londonrach · 26/10/2017 08:34

Op...you do realise it could take months or years. You be very lucky if that one attempt results in a pregnancy. Yes it could happen. Even if you were you could still enjoy fish and your holiday

VinIsGroot · 26/10/2017 08:34

You'll know when you are ready. We came back from our honeymoon with s bump....too late but we were totally ok.
Also ignore those who say you can plan.... We did ...planned too well ( DH has MS and had to come off his meds for 3 months) had a drunkard no contraception fumble... Hello DS !!! Bloody august baby ...if we'd managed hat next month..he'd be September!!!!
Take the MAP if your not ready !

tinypop4 · 26/10/2017 08:35

Op I think people are being really harsh to you on this thread.
I can see why you would be disappointed to have the restrictions of pregnancy on such an expensive luxury holiday - if you are pregnant you are likely to be tired, and of course drinking a lot is not the right thing to do.
It is not that unusual to want one last indulgent holiday with a partner before adding children to your life, as it'll be a while before you do something like that again.

Nevertheless, I think that as it's a case of only 3 months difference, if you are pregnant then I would just get on with it - you wanted a baby soon anyway.

If it turns out you are pregnant, could you perhaps look into changing your holiday for something a bit more low key when (possible) baby is about 4-5 months old? They are quite portable at that age but not yet mobile, and you should have sorted out feeding etc.

ZaphodBeeblerox · 26/10/2017 08:36

Oh god what is with the responses on this thread. Take a look at yourselves - would you talk to a friend like this?
A) please google and learn what an MAP is. It isn’t used to abort a foetus, it repeatedly claims it will do absolutely nothing to a foetus. It will only prevent an egg from ovulating or implanting.
B) did it feel good to ask a stranger on the internet what she values more “alcohol or her child”? How can you be so vile.

The point of having and owning our reproductive choices is just that - that we get to make the choices we want to without needless judgement from everyone else.

Good luck OP if you’re still reading. Either choice is fine really. I was lucky enough to conceive on first month of TTC and it meant we had to change some holiday plans, but to reiterate above Indian Ocean holidays are also quite doable even when pregnant :)

stonecircle · 26/10/2017 08:38

I went to the West Indies at 10 weeks pregnant. We were trying but hadn’t expected to be successful straight away! It was slightly irritating having to be careful what I ate and not being able to drink (though I was still feeling a bit queasy so wasn’t that bothered). It certainly didn’t spoil the holiday.