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Original poster

Please give me advice. (sensitive subject)

490 replies

GlowWorm123 · 31/01/2017 11:02

I have recently found out I am pregnant, unplanned but DP knew we wasn't taking any contraception and happily had sex with me daily. I'd have this baby but he is desperate not too. Realistically, the best thing to do is to terminate but the circumstances we are facing aren't reasons to terminate in my opinion. I am really sorry if this offends anyone, i'm just desperate for advice and absolutely terrified.

If you've read my thread in Pregnancy Choices, you'll have read I had an awful doctors appointment and have been struggling to get advice anywhere. It still hasn't sunk in properly, I don't feel ready to be making such huge decisions that can potentially leave me with everlasting guilt.

DP has now booked me in for an abortion consultation on my behalf (I've never asked him too). He will be pretty much escorting me to my appointments, which I feel obliged to say that I want an abortion.

Is this even allowed? How can another person, make GP/Clinic appointments on behalf of another? What do I do Sad

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley1 · 09/02/2017 15:28

Well done, Glow!, and very best of luck with your new life.

deranger01 · 09/02/2017 15:29

so glad you made it home!! I also think this is a very inspiring thread and you are a very inspiring person

BonnyScotland · 09/02/2017 15:31

I'm so glad your home and with your parents and have shared your wonderful news.....

stay happy girlie x

ohmygodyouguys · 09/02/2017 15:35

Never mind blowing your own trumpet, have the whole brass band! Good for you! Look after yourself and baba. Go Glow!!

ILikeBigBooksAndICannotLie · 09/02/2017 15:52

I have just rtft and have a real lump in my throat! You go, glow!

insan1tyscartching · 09/02/2017 15:52

What a lovely update, so happy you and little baby are home safe. Ignore ex dp he will say what he thinks you want to hear but he made his intentions plain before you left. Really glad you have your mum and dad on board to support you. Try and get some rest now you must be exhausted after living on adrenalin for days.

LemonBreeland · 09/02/2017 16:10

So happy that you made it home and are with your family. You are an amazing woman, and well rid of that creep.

Good luck for the future.

Lunar1 · 09/02/2017 16:31

I'm so pleased for you, what a relief it must be tonne back home with love and support. Keep us updated on the pregnancy!

ChocoChou · 09/02/2017 16:40

So happy for you Glow! Keep us all updated Flowers all the very best to you and your lil grub xx

Imaginarymenagerie · 09/02/2017 17:16

So pleased for you! All the best to you with your fresh start in SA. You're going to be a wonderful Mum. Flowers

Monkeyfeet12 · 09/02/2017 18:32

Blow that trumpet! You're amazing Smile

booellesmum · 09/02/2017 18:33

Wonderful news! So so happy for you.
Take care and best wishes for a very bright future. X

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 09/02/2017 18:35

I am dancing - DANCING, I say - around my living room in joy at your update!

Enjoy your time with your parents, and your fresh shiny new life. Smile

I do, however, echo a PP in urging you to contact the police in your old area to tell them you're OK and - just as important - that you're fleeing domestic abuse and you're concerned for your (UK) home. They might do extra patrols. Get it on record. Tell them everything - EVERYTHING: the multiple calls from different numbers (he clearly knows he's in the shit, amiright), the coat hanger picture. Get in touch with the clinics who can provide the police with their own impression of ExP's antics. Everything.

It may well never come to it, between the distance you so sensibly put in place, and his non-penchant for continued fatherhood in general, but never underestimate the lasting power of the control-freak abuser. He may well try something at some point down the line. So, it costs you nothing to get a paper trail going and is time well-invested. After you do this, you can probably relax even more!

RaisinsAndApple · 09/02/2017 18:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rachie1986 · 09/02/2017 19:19

Well done OP.

MrsPringles · 09/02/2017 19:30

OP. You are awesome, I don't know you but I'm so proud of how strong you are. Wishing you all the best Flowers

SassynSane · 09/02/2017 19:48

Been following your thread and am SO relieved and happy that you are safely back home with your family who genuinely love you and want the best for you Glow. Be happy. Be safe. Be strong Flowers xx

acatcalledjohn · 09/02/2017 20:02

So pleased you are at home with your parents. Be strong. Your ex of course is apologising now, but had he not tried to deny you your autonomy he wouldn't need to. When the time is right you should tell him why you left, but only when you are ready.

You have been so strong and I am very glad you followed your heart. It means you can face the future without regrets and in the knowledge you are a strong and independent woman.

Excuse the swear, but:

You are really fucking fabulous!

mineofuselessinformation · 09/02/2017 20:10

I e lurked but not said a word until now:
You've done absolutely the right thing. Smile

MidniteScribbler · 09/02/2017 21:19

Congratulations OP, I'm so glad you're back where you belong.

Celebrate your fresh start by shouting yourself a new phone number, then just ignore the prick.

Or you could let your Dad answer the phone next time he rings. Grin

flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 09/02/2017 21:29

Thank goodness, I haven't been able to check how you got on flying home stupid job
But I've been thinking of you all day I'm so pleased and now just hope everything is wonderful for you from now on Flowers

MrsSquidney · 09/02/2017 22:59

You've got one lucky baby on board there Glow - you're already a wonderful mum! Well done, wishing you all the luck in the world FlowersFlowers

YellowCrocus · 09/02/2017 23:06

GlowWorm123 You are very brave, but you must see this is horrible abuse. Nobody can tell you what to do with the fetus in your body. UK law is very clear on this point. You must leave and find yourself a safe place. Abortion or not it's absolutely your choice. Good luck. x

YellowCrocus · 09/02/2017 23:09

Just RTFT. What a fucking star. Lots of respect for you GlowWorm123. x

NotInMyBackYard1 · 09/02/2017 23:27

Glow Much respect to you, you are an inspiration. So so pleased for you. I love a happy ending!