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Original poster

Please give me advice. (sensitive subject)

490 replies

GlowWorm123 · 31/01/2017 11:02

I have recently found out I am pregnant, unplanned but DP knew we wasn't taking any contraception and happily had sex with me daily. I'd have this baby but he is desperate not too. Realistically, the best thing to do is to terminate but the circumstances we are facing aren't reasons to terminate in my opinion. I am really sorry if this offends anyone, i'm just desperate for advice and absolutely terrified.

If you've read my thread in Pregnancy Choices, you'll have read I had an awful doctors appointment and have been struggling to get advice anywhere. It still hasn't sunk in properly, I don't feel ready to be making such huge decisions that can potentially leave me with everlasting guilt.

DP has now booked me in for an abortion consultation on my behalf (I've never asked him too). He will be pretty much escorting me to my appointments, which I feel obliged to say that I want an abortion.

Is this even allowed? How can another person, make GP/Clinic appointments on behalf of another? What do I do Sad

OP posts:
Cloeycat · 09/02/2017 12:48

Saw this thread last night and have been so anxious for you since. Best of luck with your baby and future with your family in SA!

Frillyhorseyknickers · 09/02/2017 12:49

What a fantastic thread - I am so happy that you have made it home. I wish you all the best in your pregnancy.

xStefx · 09/02/2017 12:59

OMG, OP ill help you blow that trumpet- we all will.

Ive never read such a happy ending, I am over the moon for you. Tell your mum & dad we said hi. Take care of yourself OP xxx

mashmaker87 · 09/02/2017 13:00

Oh my. I'm sat here blubbering reading this. That little baby of yours is a very lucky baby with such an amazingly strong mummy. I don't even know you but I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy you are home and safe now. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy. FlowersX

BewitchedBotheredandBewildered · 09/02/2017 13:03

Oh, another teary one here!

Fantastic update, thank you so much for posting Glow.

The very best wishes in the world for you in your new life.

TheBuggerlugs · 09/02/2017 13:12

This reply has been withdrawn

This post has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

bummymummy77 · 09/02/2017 13:26

Only just seen this thread and it made me cry! Op well done! You're amazing. And good luck! SmileFlowers

lia66 · 09/02/2017 13:27

Sitting here in tears. Bloody well done @glow wishing you love and laughter for your future. X

OFFFS · 09/02/2017 13:31

What a lovely update. I think we were all genuinely rooting for you.

Like you, I knew in my heart I was going to have my baby. 15 years on I have a strapping lad (and three more besides). I have never, for one second, ever regretted it.

averylongtimeago · 09/02/2017 13:35

So many happy tears now! All the very best Glow and little glow, safe at home.

BrowsOnFleek · 09/02/2017 13:42

What a lovely update, op.
I hope you feel a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders now you are surrounded by those who genuinely love and care for you. Flowers & aBear for your baby Grin

Gooseygoosey12345 · 09/02/2017 13:59

I just want to say, and this is really patronising, but I am so fucking proud of you! Well done! You deserve your happy ending you brave, wonderful woman. So glad you're with your parents as they sound amazing too.

wineandsunshine · 09/02/2017 14:04

Ahhh lovely update! I had tears in my eyes too! Good luck for the future op x

HelpMeHelpDS · 09/02/2017 14:08

Tell your family about the coat hanger and they'll make it their business you never forget who he really is!

How long are you away for? I hope it's a good long time so he can't keep his emotional mind-games alive and gives up.

HelpMeHelpDS · 09/02/2017 14:08

So glad you've arrived safely - you're just where you need to be right now!

gingercoffee · 09/02/2017 14:11

It's your body and your decision whether to have a baby grow in there or not!

If it were me I would tell him that I was having the baby, and then let him decide how to deal with that. If he decides to leave you then it will be his loss, and I'm sure that it would ultimately be something that he regretted. I know you must love him, but you don't deserve to be treated like this, and tbh his behaviour over this isn't making me think that he's somebody who respects you or who actually loves you at all.

If you abort because he makes you, then how are you going to feel about that decision? You'd probably regret it for the rest of your life. Nobody should have the power to make you feel like that.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 09/02/2017 14:11

Ive just found this thread, and am so happy with the way you worked it out- go you!!
I had a friend in a very similar situation many years ago. She wanted the baby, he didn't. He frogmarched, sorry, drove her to the clinic for her termination, then left her crying while he went out with his dc from his previous relationship. She went through with it because she was terrified of losing him, although it was obvious what a free-loading nasty asshole he was in all sorts of ways. The stayed together for another few years. Eventually he relented and let her get pregnant, but she had great difficulty doing so, and beat herself up that it was down to the termination. Finally they had a dd. Within a year or so the scales finally fell from her eyes and she saw him for what he was and left him. She is now happily married with her gorgeous dd, but she still regrets not being stronger at the time. You could have been her, but you had the strength and wisdom to get away from the bully! So happy for you

Lissette · 09/02/2017 14:13

Great update Glow. You seem like a really lovely person and I think your Dad and Mum will be doting grandparents. Mumsnet is super for providing support in these situations. I'm so glad you have a supportive family - it's everything really.

Mooey89 · 09/02/2017 14:49

This thread is amazing OP. You're an inspiration.

ohfourfoxache · 09/02/2017 14:52

Darling Glow I'm so happy for you Thanks

RustyParker · 09/02/2017 14:56

The best update! Well done vipers!! Well done Glow for listening to that inner voice - you are going to be an amazing mum. All the best for you and your baby x

BlueKarou · 09/02/2017 15:01

Oh Glow I'm so happy to see your update. You did amazing!

You sound like a strong, clear-minded woman, your baby is going to be one lucky kid.

iknowimcoming · 09/02/2017 15:08

Oh Glow! You certainly can blow that trumpet loud and proud! Well done you and well done your parents (my vision went all blurry when I read about your dad at arrivals Blush so, so happy for you!

Should we ask for this to be moved to classics for the benefit of others? (Don't actually know how despite being on here for yonks Blush)

FriedSprout · 09/02/2017 15:17

Been following, albeit quietly, and rooting for you to make the best decision for you. So very, very happy for you and your family.

Report post to suggest for classics iknow - I agree
so very inspiring.

BastardGoDarkly · 09/02/2017 15:23

Oh, I appear to have something in my eye.

Well done you courageous thing, your baby has a lioness for a mother, you're both very lucky.

Onwards Glow !

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