Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can't afford to feed my kids

210 replies

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 20:51

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore Sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

OP posts:
bakeoffcake · 09/08/2016 06:48

I hope you do get to the food bank today. I'd thrn go to CAB and explain its an emergency. They will hopefully take up your case and help you.

wherethewildthingis · 09/08/2016 07:37

Having read the other thread I wonder if people still think that social services/the state have a responsibility to provide money somehow for the family. This is clearly about a financially abusive, irresponsible man. Yes, the benefit delay is an issue but this man is working and keeping all his money to himself. He needs to feed his children before the state steps in - and I am sure that is what the OP will be told if she does approach social services.
OP you're better off approaching women's aid and starting the process of leaving him

MrsDeVere · 09/08/2016 08:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

dangermouseisace · 09/08/2016 09:41

Oh gosh plonkerface just read your other thread. Your partner really is not a nice man.

I can only echo what the others say- you need to think of yourself and your DC and get out asap. He literally does not care if the kids starve/have no nappies..well he probably assumes they won't as you'll get it from 'somewhere'. My ex was like this with money (luckily my parents were local so I got a job). Please understand this is serious and he will not change. It's hard when men are lovely then turn absolute bastards as you retain that 'lovely' image burned into your brain. If you get out they'll be quick to sort out your benefits- usually less than a fortnight, you will be financially secure and that stress will be over.

NeedACleverNN · 09/08/2016 09:47

OP, what are your partners good points?
Why do you stay with him?

Because at the moment I can't see anything why he is worth it.

He is essentially keep you and his children in poverty because he can. I bet he is eating whilst he is at work

JiltedJohnsJulie · 09/08/2016 18:03

How have you got on today PlonkerFace?

PlonkerFace · 09/08/2016 20:18

Thank you everyone we really appreciate all the advice we've been given, it's really helped. Me and DP have our ups and downs but are working on things, I know in my last thread he really isn't painted in a great light but he's not as bad as he sounds, I think we've just been more stressed than usual with the money situation and everything that's going on so are arguing a lot more. I don't want us to split up, we do love each other and I'm sure we'll get through this rough patch, plus, DSD's have only just settled in here after having their lives turned upside down and I really wouldn't want to have them go through anymore heartache and uproot them again. We've been overwhelmed with the kind messages we've received and the offers of help. It just goes to show how many wonderful kind people are out there xxx Thank you all, we appreciate everything x

OP posts:
JulietteBarnes · 09/08/2016 20:48

I often say to my friends when we're catching up that we moan a lot about our respective DH's. Thing is, we tend to not mention or we skim over the good times, we just love a moan! Glad to hear you are working on things- times won't always be tough. I think it's lovely how committed you are to your Dsd's and wanting them to have some stability. Best of luck in the future!

purpleviolet1 · 16/09/2017 09:10

How are things OP? Hope things got sorted

ginorwine · 17/09/2017 17:01

Hooe things sorted . If the children have come to stay with you due to care proceedings / an order then social services should be able to help if children subject to an order ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page