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Can't afford to feed my kids

210 replies

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 20:51

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore Sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

OP posts:
WellErrr · 08/08/2016 23:17

.

TealLove · 08/08/2016 23:17

Whereabouts do you live ?

YorkieDorkie · 08/08/2016 23:18

RTFT

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

YorkieDorkie · 08/08/2016 23:19

Posted too soon Angry OP said she lives in Wales.

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 23:20

They have all been stopped, housing benefit has been sorted out but mine gets paid directly to my landlord so can't even dip in to that until the other benefits are sorted. We owe the landlord over £1000 in top ups though cos we don't get paid full rent cos we have more children than bedrooms and need to move ASAP. We made a new claim for tax credits to add the girls on and to try claiming working tax credits too but they refused the working tax because they said there wasn't enough evidence or something and that because he works a different amount of hours each week etc, when they shut the working tax claim down they shut the child tax one down too, it was referred to a case worker and they gave me his number cos he's dealing with our case, I got through to him about 3 or 4 weeks ago and he said the child tax part shouldn't have been shut down and it was a mistake cos we are entitled so he said he'd put the claim back on. I've rang child tax every day to find out what's going on and what they told me about waiting for their mother to reply to her letter is the latest story I've got from them. Since I spoke to the case worked a few weeks ago I've tried ringing him every single day but I can't get any answer, I've asked if I can be put through to him but they reckon they can't do that because it's a different department etc and they told me they would email him to ask him to contact me instead but he hasn't

OP posts:
flossietoot · 08/08/2016 23:20

Haven't read all the posts, but if you are in Scotland, apply for a Welfare Fund grant- you can self refer.
Next stop would be the food bank, plus some charities will give you a gas and electric top up. Could you go and stay with your mum??

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 08/08/2016 23:21

You said your partner refuses to give you his wages, is he still doing that/ is that why the SW couldn't help, because technically you have income?

LaConnerie · 08/08/2016 23:22

op just caught up with your other threads.

Your problem isn't the benefits system, your problem is your partner is a selfish dick. Take your two DC and get away from him. Then he might actually get off his arse and realise he needs to look after his DC - you're not his free babysitter Angry. What an absolute cock lodger.

Bomb · 08/08/2016 23:25

Phone your Mum. Just do it, you can pay her back when you get your money.

Just5minswithDacre · 08/08/2016 23:25

Right now, this minute, OP's problem is topping up the meters and getting some food.

We can all give her the cuckoos get intervention when that's solved.

Just5minswithDacre · 08/08/2016 23:26

Cuckoos get?? Cocklodger!

SharonfromEON · 08/08/2016 23:27

Ok somethiing sounds doggier about his Self employed status.

If he is not even earning enough to get WTC then this isn't a job..He is out the house far too many hours to not be eligible for WTC...

I realise this isn't the crisis for now..But he has to bring money into the house...

I feel very sorry for his older children..They have clearly been abused by mum , now mum in prison and now in a dire situation.. I imagine they come with a lot of baggage and need a lot of support.

Good luck moving forward Op

LaConnerie · 08/08/2016 23:27

And surely you shouldn't have to pay top up rent if you have more children than bedrooms? Isnt it the other way around?

You're so young to be lumbered with a lazy piss-taker and the children he can't be bothered to provide for Sad. If you were my daughter I would want you and your DC to get the hell away from him and come and stay with me.

Just5minswithDacre · 08/08/2016 23:27

Yes try your mum.

She can at least give you a bag of food if she's strapped herself. I'd want my DC to ring me in these circs.

TealLove · 08/08/2016 23:28

If you were near me I would help you OP. I'm sorry you're not.
I have no further advice other than what's been said on this thread.
Good luck I hope things improve for you.

ImperialBlether · 08/08/2016 23:31

I agree - you need to separate from him. You simply can't afford to live with him (and he's horrible.)

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 08/08/2016 23:40

I don't understand the housing benefit shortfall. They take deductions if you have more rooms than children not more children than rooms. If the rent's higher than the Local Housing Allowance that would cause a shortfall but that would have been the case prior to DSD's moving in.

I've just looked at your other thread and it really is your partner that's the problem. He needs to start contributing or tomorrow he needs to sell his van, because it's not like him using it is actually bringing in any money for the family.

bunnyfuller · 08/08/2016 23:44

None of this adds up, it really doesn't.

LyndaNotLinda · 08/08/2016 23:46

You're 26 and you're lumbered with 4 kids - 2 of whom aren't even yours and a lazy cocklodger who won't even support the children you had with him, no matter about the two that he fought to get custody of.

You poor love :(

Just5minswithDacre · 08/08/2016 23:48

What possible harm can a thread about how to survive a financial crisis in the Welsh valleys do?

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 08/08/2016 23:51

OP is your partner still withholding his wages from you/

Stuffythedragon · 09/08/2016 00:11

Op you are very near me and I would like to help. I have a (newly) toilet trained toddler so nappies ranging in sizes 4-6 if they would help. Also lots of kitchen cupboard basics. Please PM me

Rifleponyandme · 09/08/2016 00:14

How do u see other posts people have made seen a few comments about op's previous posts never knew you could look at previous threads.

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 09/08/2016 00:15

Rifle Advanced search

Rifleponyandme · 09/08/2016 00:23

Thanks special

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