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Can't afford to feed my kids

210 replies

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 20:51

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore Sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

OP posts:
SpecialAgentFreyPie · 08/08/2016 22:37

I reported because offers of money. Sorry OP I'm sure you're not a troll but gotta be careful

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/08/2016 22:38

Grin at Cocklodger.

schbittery · 08/08/2016 22:39

sell one of your buggies now your older son can walk? sell any other old baby equipment.

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StrangeLookingParasite · 08/08/2016 22:39

Maybe people should think twice about having children with men they don't really know.

A statement which, while it may be true, is pretty much useless in this instance.

bimbobaggins · 08/08/2016 22:40

What worra said. He sounds awful.

KindDogsTail · 08/08/2016 22:40

I did the same as WorraLiberty and have to say I agree your partner is at the roots of things. I know you said you love him, but it looks as though he is causing problems for you and emotionally abusing you.

It seems he was not paying you what he should out of his wages, as in one post you mentioned just a bit of gas and electricity everyy now and then. Doesn't he have to pay more for his daughters?

What a difficult situation as his daughters are now wanting you to be their mam.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/08/2016 22:40

If this is genuine, there is a food bank in the morning at the Sally Army.

VladmirsPoutine · 08/08/2016 22:40

SpecialAgent Why the need to make an announcement about it Hmm?

OP, you need to leave him. You're obviously in the eye of the storm now so could you consider going to stay with your mother? You say you don't want to ask her for money but could she feed you and your dcs whilst you get things sorted.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/08/2016 22:41

Like I said Dragons you don't make a new claim when new dc are added to the tax credit claim.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/08/2016 22:44

Seems like Welsh Water only help with arrears paying your water bill with them. Here.

TheHatOfDoom · 08/08/2016 22:47

OP don't bother with GP. Just go straight to a CAB or other advice centre -they can refer to food banks and also have escalation numbers to skip the HMRC call centre which can get things moving much quicker.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/08/2016 22:48

Rival claims to child benefit have an 8 week period where if previous claimant with chb doesn't relinquish it they dont award it to new claimant.

Obv some thing else going on. Get MP involved

Ive just watched one only just resolved (last 14 days) for a claim made in jan relating to a child living with the claimed in jan parent since October last year.

If one parent wishes to be especially spiteful they can ignore all the correspondence then after the 8 weeks claim disputed residency and if the other parent is even a day past one of the return info date limits it then goes to mandatory reconsideration and that does not have the same time limits attached.

But there is something unusual going on because it's not tax credits that cause the issue its child benefit.

Child benefit is the pass port benefit to tax credits so it would be child benefit with the issue not tax credits.

You wouldn't be going via tax credits it would all be CB.
If a spiteful parent disputed the tax credits after CB was sorted (which they would actively have to do as opposed to just ignoring letters) because the CB was in one name it would mean payments would continue

LyndaNotLinda · 08/08/2016 22:49

You said in your other thread that your partner doesn't give you any of the money he earns and you pay for food and utilities from your CB and tax credits. He is financially abusing you and all four of his children.

Please call Women's Aid

SharonfromEON · 08/08/2016 22:49

I have looked back but also...Can I ask does DP know you have no money for nappies.. seems he is not giving you anything.

Tell him you have no money to feed him you may find some money becomes available...

TheFairyCaravan · 08/08/2016 22:54

I agree with other posters, it's not the lack of tax credits that's the problem it's because you live with a bloke who is financially abusing you.

Honestly you need to leave the bastard.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/08/2016 22:57

Oh and CB or TC for the children not in a disputed residency would not be stopped.

Unless the op went from a single claim to a joint or did not return requested info on a concentrix compliance check but that one is easily fixed by contacting them with a postal tracking number and requesting a reinstatement which can be done in 24 hours

YorkieDorkie · 08/08/2016 22:57

I agree with Lynda there has to be help out there in a genuine crisis. Surely? Please don't stay because you love him. Abuse is abuse.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/08/2016 22:59

Mumsnet need to post the usual post about not given more than they can afford to lose etc

CraftyPenguin · 08/08/2016 23:00

I agree with Lynda. Please call women's aid.

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 23:04

Actually dragonseggs, I did have 5 children that day, my neighbour who lives 2 doors up works full time and while she's at work during the summer holidays I've been helping out with her DD as my DSD's are good friends with her and they enjoy having her over. She's a good kid and spends a lot of time at our house. Don't jump to conclusions before asking x

OP posts:
FlissMumsnet · 08/08/2016 23:04

Excuse us barging in like this but just wanted to say that although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

OutOfBlueComesGreen · 08/08/2016 23:06

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/2695950-don-t-know-what-to-do-anymore#prettyPhoto

OP, you were getting benefits recently.

Your dp doesn't sound very nice tbh.

princessbarbie · 08/08/2016 23:10

You need to go to the council and call social services and say it's an emergency. They will support with emergency payment. A.so go to doctors immediately and ask for food bank referral. You may have to insist and be persistent but do it. Thinking of you xx

LyndaNotLinda · 08/08/2016 23:11

Oh yes - that's a good point. I thought the problem was that you weren't getting the benefits/tax credits for the DSDs but actually you said in your OP that all your benefits were stopped.

Hmm
NeedsAsockamnesty · 08/08/2016 23:13

plonkerface

Actually break down the benefit situation down as fully as you can. Exactly which benefits how much and a time line up till now because the info you have given so far makes no sense at all and unless it does nobody can help you.

part of my job is benefit advice and if required I can put you in touch as a priority with a specialist that could potentially have this resolved for you very quickly

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