Can't afford to feed my kids

[PlonkerFace]

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

Ffs, smug gits telling op to get a job just piss off! Child care for 4 dc's would cost a bomb and she needs money now.
Please get in touch with your MP, its a bloody disgrace that you have been left in tho position

Are my posts not visible or something

RoseDawson don't be an areas. the op cannot work until she has childcare for 4 kids sorted. How can she afford that when she has no money for gas, electric or to feed her family. And even if she got work tomorrow she wouldn't be paid till well after the kids had been hungry for days.

Food bank referral I guess. Can your health visitor or GP do this?

In the longer term can you take on some evening work once your DH is home? Like ironing or baby sitting?

Areas?! ARSE!!

So you day she can't work
then you suggest work she could do

And no one thinks the dds might need their dad?

Go to the social workers office tomorrow morning with kids in tow and explain you need to speak to them, or the duty sw if they are not in. If they have placed these children with you they have a responsibility for their welfare. It's very common that we have to make payments regular payments in these situations until tax credits & CB have come in!

Yeah, get a job and pay £600/£700 a week for 4 children full time.... Some people are such dipshits with their oh so clever ideas.

Can you sell anything on gumtree op? Make some quick cash? Some children's centres provide free lunches at stay and plays aswell. And get in touch with a food bank too

Helpful, Rose

OP, phone to Social Worker first thing tomorrow. They have a duty of care to the DDs they placed with you.

also, speak to your GP or health visitor and ask for referral to a food bank who will provide you with enough basics to see you through a few days. Food banks are also excellent centres for information on other services in your area that may be able to offer short term/crisis help.

It's always worth speaking to Citizens Advice. They can help to make sure that you're getting all you're entitled to.

Yes Stealth , they do need their dad. But in the immediate future the family needs food.
Tax Credits shouldn't be able to stop claims for this amount of time, its Dickensian.

Hate summer surely she'd only pay full time childcare if she had a ft job?? And her dp didn't cover any of those hours, if not all.

Sounds like you need an evening job 8-11pm Type thing?

This is so shit - I'm so sorry you are all going through this. Imagine the relief when the benefits eventually get sorted. Hopefully that won't drag out so much.

Social services should be doing more - whinge at them.

CAB will be able to refer to food banks and they may have details of organisations that can do emergency loans, so Deffo try to get down there.

What sort of work does DP do - is there any other bits of self employed work he can do? Cleaning, mowing lawns, odd jobs?

Can you do anything while DP isn't working? Could you get a couple of cash in hand shifts in a dodgy pub? Could you offer to iron/childmind/clean for people you know?

Is there anything you can sell on EBay/gumtree. Old baby stuff, stuff you can make do without cameras, hoovers, furniture you don't really need?

Is there any churches around that could help? Also I would be asking your Mum for more money. You will pay it back, I'm sure she'd rather you had baby milk and nappies. I would also be asking all friends and family for help. I would help and friend of mine in your situation - I'd be gutted if they didn't ask.

When you get a spare tenner could you get some cheap terry cloth nappies to keep you going?

Whereabouts are you OP?

Including one poster who said OF COURSE the op can't work. Then suggested taking in ironing.

Anyway I think I made all my suggestions to the op in my first couple of posts and am now just getting irritated with people who seem to me to be completely illogical.
Good luck op

And where is op supposed to find a job with an immediate start ?

I second your MP - they can be astonishingly helpful at getting a rocket under people in situations like this. Here's how to contact your MP. And foodbank asap.

Where in the country are you OP?

You poor, poor thing. Have you already been referred to a food bank? Sounds like a bit of an odd one this but Google your water supplier. Lots have trust funds where you can get a grant for things like paying off rent arrears. They may even be able to reduce your bill for you.

Is there a Credit Union near to you? They may be able to give you a loan.

If you live in a city, try the local Sikh Temple. Many will give a free lunch to those who need it.

If you don't want to ask your Mum for money, could you ask her to buy you a set of secondhand washable nappies? That way you won't have to keep forking out for disposables.

Hope you find a solution soon.

Water supplier, really? Wow

Sorry for your situation OP but just to clarify, social services have absolutely no responsibility financially towards children who are living with one of their parents, whether they facilitated/recommended the move or not. It's not a placement I'm afraid, it's being a parent. Sorry you're in this mess though and hope it gets sorted soon.