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Can't afford to feed my kids

210 replies

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 20:51

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore Sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

OP posts:
DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 08/08/2016 22:17

OP seems to have lost a child since the picnic in the park post .....

Lolimax · 08/08/2016 22:18

capuk.org/i-want-help/cap-debt-help/debt-centre/220/merthyr-tydfil

Try these they've really helped community members I know. I'll be back with another link if I can find it.

smileymam · 08/08/2016 22:18

I think there is a food bank in providence chapel in mountain ash if that helps. There is also a group on Fb called providing help for the homeless and needy in Merthyr, I know your not in , Merthyr but it's pretty close, they may be able to help.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

JulietteBarnes · 08/08/2016 22:21

I asked for the Op's address so I can send her some nappies that I've no use for anymore

Lolimax · 08/08/2016 22:21

www.kings-church.org.uk/jesuscares.html

Ring these and tell them what's going on. Marcia is the lady I've dealt with, she's lovely.

LewisAndClark · 08/08/2016 22:22

Oh gosh, I've just read your other threads.

The benefits being stopped aren't your problem. Your fucking arsehole DP is. He needs to get a proper job and stop dicking around. He's a cocklodger and you're a rent-a-mum for his kids.

Lolimax · 08/08/2016 22:23

Both my links are local and provide support to people in the Valleys. OP they should be able to help. Good luck.

Eatthecake · 08/08/2016 22:24

How tough for you all op, it saddens me to think of children with no food. the worry of not having enough food must be massive for you at the moment.

Food bank needs to be a first point of call. Most places have got one and your get a few days worth of food

I know you say you don't want to ask your Mum again and I am sure in your postion I would feel guilty about doing it but needs must and she's your Mum she wouldn't want you all with no food

Citizens advice, I hope you have one they will be able to offer advice

If the children are under social services, how just how can they not help you. The children have to eat

Bloody wrong that the tax credits have taken 5 months with no payment yet, seriously 5 months!! Do get back on to them, call every day if you have to

I hope you find a way to mange this op. I hope you and the DC will be ok

WorraLiberty · 08/08/2016 22:24

If your Mum can't help you out with money, can she help you out with food until you can get a food bank referral?

twolinesplease · 08/08/2016 22:24

OP you can contact your gas/elec supplier in the morning and they can arrange an emergency top up that can last a week or so, they are obliged if you have children in the house. They will send the details to you local post office or newsagents and you can charge your key there.

schbittery · 08/08/2016 22:25

this, in a nutshell

One of the two adults needs to bring in money. He isn't. We have no reason to believe the op couldn't (other than childcare for 4 children, which presumably the othe non earning adult could manage)

I've got 4 young dc and have always worked apart from maternity leaves as has DP. Many, many people do this and the kids are fine. Once you get through this crisis OP I think you look for work, at least while they are at school (only a few more weeks of the holidays left, you could start in September). You are young and you don't want to be living like this for the next 10/20 years.

Sara107 · 08/08/2016 22:25

Stealthpolarbear, why do you keep on saying that the dp isn't doing anything / being supportive? The op has made it clear that he is working, but won't get paid for the current job in time to relieve the situation. This sounds perfectly normal to me, if he is something along the lines of a carpenter/ plumber/ plasterer etc, a job might take a while and he won't get paid til the end ( any time I've had work done I don't pay til it's finished). In the meantime, he is busy, out, doing work, not hanging around doing nothing, or available for childcare. Their problems stem from their resident children doubling overnight and their benefits disappearing. Many people work hard but simply don't earn enough to cover the basic cost of living. The whole economy is based around a low wage model where the state tops up the millions of people who don't earn enough to live. Or not, in the case of this family.

JulietteBarnes · 08/08/2016 22:25

OP I've pm'd you again.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 08/08/2016 22:26

I've just read your other thread. Take the youngest two to your Mums and LTB.

Eatthecake · 08/08/2016 22:26

What with the posts about op getting a job?? Seriously!

Yes maybe in the long term but right now she needs advice on how to feed young children

Iflyaway · 08/08/2016 22:27

partners children came to live with them 5 months ago the mum kept claiming CTC and CB, and as she and her partner had to do a new claim as a couple all money, even the money for OPs 2 children was stopped.

If there was a joined-up computer administration for all these departments, as there is in this country in the EU this would be sorted pretty quickly. Certainly not left for 5 months when there are 4 kids involved. And yes, we do have food banks too so it's not perfect.

But this is a disgrace.

I really hope this is sorted immediately OP.. So sorry that you are going through this. If I was anywhere near you I would drop off some essentials myself.

Great you reached out to Mumsnet for all the good tips.

TwoLittleBlooms · 08/08/2016 22:27

OP, I would make an appointment first thing in the morning to see the GP, they can refer to the food bank and then get yourself to CAB.

Rose, you are nasty, I have reported your comments and now do fuck off, there's a dear.

schbittery · 08/08/2016 22:28

and how not to be in this position again 3 months down the line

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/08/2016 22:29

Wow, your DP sounds a right catch.

Lots of advice re food banks etc and lots of people asking for your address to send your stuff.

But really, you can't rely on your DP long term so you do need to find a way of earning your own income in some way, you can't rely on him.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 08/08/2016 22:29

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DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 08/08/2016 22:32

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Deckthehallswithjammydodgers · 08/08/2016 22:33

Contact your energy provider they may be able to lend you money on your gas and electric which you can pay back at a pound or two a week not perfect but hopefully enough to tide you over until your payments are sorted

WorraLiberty · 08/08/2016 22:33

OK now I've read the other few threads you've written OP. I have to say I agree 100% with this....

The benefits being stopped aren't your problem. Your fucking arsehole DP is. He needs to get a proper job and stop dicking around. He's a cocklodger and you're a rent-a-mum for his kids.

Even when the benefits are sorted out, surely to god you can't continue living with him?

And if he's out working all day like you said he was just over a week ago, where is the money to show for it?

Andbabymakesthree · 08/08/2016 22:35

Rival claims to child benefit have an 8 week period where if previous claimant with chb doesn't relinquish it they dont award it to new claimant.

Obv some thing else going on. Get MP involved.

bomfunk · 08/08/2016 22:36

Have you got anything you could pawn?