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Can't afford to feed my kids

210 replies

PlonkerFace · 08/08/2016 20:51

DP and I have 2 DP's and he has 2 DD's who moved in with us in March after a court order was made because their mother was emotionally abusing them etc. So there are 4 kids and 2 adults here. DP is self employed but hardly earns anything atm, All our benefits were stopped when they moved in on March 18th because we had to make new claims, we still haven't received any money yet (5 months later!!) because their mother had been lying and saying that they still live with her so that she can still claim the money for them. It's all she cares about. It's not just the money for the girls but our boys money has been stopped in the meantime too so we aren't getting a penny. We've sent all the evidence off that they've asked for (the court order, letters from social services etc). I've rang child tax every single day but they say they can't do anything because they have to give her until the 24th of this month to reply to her letter or send evidence off, she was sent to prison on the 22nd of July so she isn't going to reply to it, surely they have a way of checking if someone is in prison? Also, they have all the proof they need that they are with us so what are they waiting for? Both DP's are in nappies so that's expensive enough as it is, we have hardly any food left in the house,1 baby jar, hardly any baby milk, gas and electric are both on emergency and due to run out. I can usually rely on my mother to lend me money when I need it but we've been without money for so long now that I already owe her £200 so there is no way I can ask her again. The rent is months behind and the landlord is getting really pissed off. I just don't know what to do anymore, I'm sick to death of worrying where the next bit of food is coming from to feed the kids, or where the next money is coming from for gas/elec. we haven't been able to take the kids anywhere so far during the sumner holidays but that's the least of our worries at the moment, just thought it would be nice for them after everything their so called mother has put them through the last few years. They're not even going to look at our claim until the 24th so that doesn't even mean we'll get money on the 24th, it could still be a week or two after that, the food isn't going to last until tomorrow let alone 2/3 weeks away. My hair has started going grey and that isn't a joke, I'm 26! I'm so stressed out and drained from worrying myself sick over it that it's causing arguments between me and DP because we're so stressed, just don't know what to do anymore Sad do you think citizens advice would do anything or should we just wait even longer?

OP posts:
Teddy1970 · 08/08/2016 21:32

Pendu good point, OP, I've got loads of nappies left over you're more than welcome to have them, are you anywhere in the SE?

Joydgreen88 · 08/08/2016 21:33

Oh OP what an awful situation. Please ignore any ignorant comments on here and concentrate on getting yourselves through the next couple of weeks. Definitely head to CAB asap, they have helped me lots in the past and a food bank referral will really take some of that pressure off.

Where in the country are you? I'm sure there's plenty of people who'd love to help you through this tough time Flowers

NyronNosworthy · 08/08/2016 21:35

Op ring tax credit helpline in the morning, ask to speak to the extra support team.

You need to stress to them how dire your financial situation is. Explain that your partners ex has deadline later this month but that she has been sent to prison so has no way at all of replying. They may not be able to help but it's worth a try.

Is child benefit an issue too?? If so the extra support team will help with that.

I hope things pick up for you soon Flowers

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MiscellaneousAssortment · 08/08/2016 21:36

Food bank is what you need, urgently. The younger two are in nappies, so do you have access to their health visitor for a referral?

NavyandWhite · 08/08/2016 21:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AndNowItsSeven · 08/08/2016 21:36

You case is most unusual op, you don't need to make new claim when additional children are added to the claim.

BastardGoDarkly · 08/08/2016 21:37

Rose you're a dick.

Op, have you asked for a crisis loan?

I'm so sorry you're in this shit, you sound like you're trying your best Flowers

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2016 21:37

They have four children bet ween them. He brings in no money.

Myfathersglove · 08/08/2016 21:37

Have a look at this OP, info about hardship payments from your local council m.england.shelter.org.uk/get_advice/money_problems/in_a_crisis/cash_in_a_crisis

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2016 21:38

I'm sorry to take the thread off track and I will shut up but the number of presumably women who are assuming the childcare is solely the op's responsibility is astounding me.

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 08/08/2016 21:39

Do you have a church you could visit? I know our church hands over food parcels.
Perhaps DP could sign on with an agency for sat 20 hours a week??
Some people know how to work he system nut a good many don't; and unless English is not your first language they are not obliged to tell you what you can claim for.
See CAC asap. Might be worth asking for a family support officer to visit.

NavyandWhite · 08/08/2016 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rachie1986 · 08/08/2016 21:39

Echo the advice on food bank - it will tide you over for a few days and then you can try some of the other things knowledgable people on here have suggested.

Thinking of you - what a horrible situation x

Myfathersglove · 08/08/2016 21:39

No such thing as crisis loans anymore Bastard, only 'discretionary' hardship payments from local council. How the fuck they expect people to manage when tax credits pull shit like this on people I do not know Angry

StrangeLookingParasite · 08/08/2016 21:41

How about getting a job? A novel idea I know hmm

What a fucking useless comment, as were your subsequent posts. I know this doesn't fit with your apparent ideology, but you seem to be lacking in an ability to think. This is their reality, right now. She needs immediate assistance, not sanctimonious right wing twattery.

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2016 21:41

They're his children! He can be as unsoportive as he likes, they're his responsibility.

Just5minswithDacre · 08/08/2016 21:41

Ignore the twats.

Tell us your region, if you can.

TheoriginalLEM · 08/08/2016 21:42

sounds a horrible situation OP. Please ingore the "get a job" nonsense.

Its just not that easy - some people don't live in the real world.

Your Dr , social worker or health visitor can refer you to a food bank, i think you can only get limited referrals but it will get you over this blip.

My dp is self employed with an erratic wage and we have been within a cats whiskers of a food bank in the past. Its such a worry. Thankfully i have ajob now but it took me many years to fall on my feet.

So what can you do now?

1st - get that foodbank referral

  1. Definitely go to CAB yo see where you stand re emergency payments and getting this dorted. They may well act as an advocate on your behalf.
  2. See if you can sell anything - local facebook pages are good for this. Thinking of grown out of vlothes, unwanted toys, ornaments -itsa few quid here and there but it will sort your fuel payments.
  3. Talk to CAB about getting helpwith your fuel payments - many of thecompanies have something in place to help people in genuine and immediate need but they don't publicise it.
  4. Ask your mum. If my dd was in your position id buy her a weeks shop if i had the money. I know itsless than ideal.

I hope things improve for you soon.

I don't know what your dp does but get him to sign on with employment agencies - they have saved our bacon with short term work many a time (dp is a carpenter).

Good luck OP. you'll get through this Flowers

NavyandWhite · 08/08/2016 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DancingDinosaur · 08/08/2016 21:44

Have you tried the essential living fund? You can apply online.

NobodyInParticular · 08/08/2016 21:45

Christian Churches may also be able to help, as may Salvation Army or other similar organisations.

As well as trying selling stuff online it may be worth trying a pawnbroker as you will get the money immediately and may be able to buy the item back later if you really want to.

Flowers
Babyroobs · 08/08/2016 21:45

I haven't tead the whole thread so apologies if these suggestions have already been mentioned. Try to contact your local MP asap regarding the tax credits. Can you look for casual work to fit around your dp's work , sign up with an agency. There is a sandwich factory near us where people do casual nightshifts, is there anyhing like that near you where either of you could do this to get some money coming in? I understand that's not as easy a sit sounds especially with 4 kids but one of you needs to be bringing in some decent money. Also apply for food bank voucher.

NeedACleverNN · 08/08/2016 21:46

Sorry to hear this OP

Where abouts are you?

Definitely seek advice via CAB and your health visitor if you have one.

Get a referral to a food bank or you might get vouchers for a supermarket like they do here.

Definitely see your MP and keep hounding your social worker FlowersFlowers

StealthPolarBear · 08/08/2016 21:46

One of the two adults needs to bring in money. He isn't. We have no reason to believe the op couldn't (other than childcare for 4 children, which presumably the othe non earning adult could manage)

EndodSummerLooming · 08/08/2016 21:46

No advice about how to manage but I think the dc are very lucky that you have taken them in and care for them. You must be a very living and kind person.

I'm sorry you are going through this and hope things look up a bit soon.

Flowers
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