Golden Wonder: I say Tayto , you say Tahto, when will she call the whole thing off?!

[KimmySchmidtsSmile]

Thread two

nicenewdusters That is a much better use for the home-office. I shall instruct him to paint it gray. I do also have a child only bouncy castle, a (paddling) pool and trampoline but no room for them all at the same time

Why does Ruby Rose keep doing public gushing about Tay-Tay? Is it part of the initation process to the Squad?

I think she has a crush on her or alternatively she has something to sell and this is a way to get people to take notice of her.

Absolutely it's initiation.

At the concert costume changes were covered by various members of the squad talking about how bloody amaaaaazing TS is. DSD and I were whilst the fan girls squealed that Cara et al were on screen.

I remember reading a while back that TayTay dropped in on the wedding of one of her backing dancers. I guess the equivalent is your boss arriving unannounced and uninvited to your wedding. The report was that they were all "grateful" and "delighted" to see her...

Also, hope you are all stomach crunching in your spare time. DM says ab cracks are the new thigh gap.

JanTheJam - as you have been in the same arena room as TayTay, you have practically insider knowledge. What do you think is going on?

What the dickens are ab cracks? Are they the same as a muffin top? I think not seeing as we are talking and TayTay who does slender and toned like no-one else.

I console myself that I have had 4 children hence no amount of stomach crunches will ever give me the abdomen of a childfree 27 year old.

Oooh new thread time, how exciting

Has The Squad overtaken Scientology as the hot new cult in town? Will Tom Cruise be jumping up and down demanding membership?

I can't help thinking there's something a little Howard Hughes about taytay

Hmm, I have a New Theory.

Now I think that this is all Tay's master plan to switch up her image. GONE is the little girl who was 'boy crazy' but seemed sex less. And got dumped all the time. Now - she cheated on Calvin, with Tom. She's a man eater! (watch out boys, she'll chew you up...)

But, it is twoo luv. So, she's a bit more sexy, but not a meanie. A nice respectable man eater, who is a slave to romance and destiny. And still has her squad.

Win for them all:

• Tay's new image, and new material. And drowns out the furore over Kanye's song/video.
• Calvin new material, keeps him in the news, and £. And his and her fans don't really cross over.
• Tom gets a high profile (just in time for Kong film), and gets to be painted as very alluring. And gets some shoes too.

I think Calvin has done best out of all this

If only Tom would get some new shoes then this whole thing would have been worth it.

What probably happened in Suffolk

Tay and Selena must still be friends though. Wasnt it a Selena concert TayTo were canoodling at?
It must be her go to concert for snogging

"Tim" 😂

Gin that link is genius!
I don't know why but for some reason it reminded me of My Week with Marilyn possibly the fake romance between a very famous blonde American who can't remember the name of the posh British bloke she is allowing to bask in her glory

Tim 😂😂😂

Taylor was expecting neon lilos and lots of splashing about in the sea, but it turned out mid-summer in Suffolk was more like January in LA.

Poor Tay.

That Buzzfeed is ace Gin - To will always be Tim to me from now on. I see Calvin has slipped in a reference to Loki in his trash-talking song - slightly less blatant than calling the whole song Hiddleston and absolute genius.

Ok LadyCassandra, I'm prepared to let your friend off TayToThor duties, the baby swung it for me. As Donatella said, we'll divert the sweepstake funds so you can spy for the thread on the Gold Coast. I'm going to ask Emma Watson for the £47 that her film took to add to the funds. If there's enough cash could you get a vest made with "I love TayTo" on it ?

That is the best article! Whenever I stop laughing, I feel a bit sorry for ToTo. What must it be like to be so desperate for publicity but just end up being ridiculed mercilessly by the whole world? What is he going to say the next time he has to turn up on Graham Norton? I have another theory- he's in some sort of golden handcuffs deal to do a million Thor films playing camp Loki so he's trying to get sacked and never act again. He want to slide into obscurity and do a PhD in Mediaeval Literature in peace.

Wow I've found Tim slightly annoying for the past three weeks but I wouldn't wish a PhD on my worst enemy

She wondered if she’d ever write a song about this cold English beach, and thought probably not.

If you ignore all the 'we can tell what colour knickers you're wearing based on your favourite ice cream flavour' quizzes buzzfeed has some great content.

I love that Buzz feed article. In fact I think the real winners of this whole farce are some of the amazing writers.

On which note I met up with a friend over lunch, and told her about the moistened chute and how it's been entertaining me this week. She just didn't get it.

She is - of course - now an ex-friend.

I think that's a reasonable response Zebra. In years to come our DCs will ask which side we were on during this momentous time for our country -obsessed with TayTo or haughtily dismissive. We can be proud that we will be on the right side of history with regards to TayTo.

I've heard of friends/families falling out over Brexit. Nah, Brexit/Shemxit, who cares. TayTo or not TayTo, that is the question (hope Tom/Tim appreciates my Shakespearean reference there ?!) Zebra, I think you made a brave choice, your friend will never know what she's missing with your moistened chute.

I find myself laughing at ToTo and feeling sorry for him all at the same time. I'm a bit of a rescuer in relationships (apparently) but I'm afraid I won't be launching my life raft this time round.