Are You Scottish?

[prettybird]

Pure dead brullyant!

You know you are a true Scot if...........

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and

Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin

clatty

boggin

cludgie

pished

get it up ye

wee beasties

erse bandit

amurny

away an bile yer heid

peely-wally

humphey backit

Ba'-heid

baw bag

dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

actually, id rather have cherryade or limeade

oh god i LOVE limeade

barrs, the ones where you take the bottles back (or is that bon accord lorries?)

I love full fat Irn Bru - but don't drink it that often 'cos I'm trying to avoid the sugar. Have to say, the diet version is one of the ones that doesn't quite work! (I actually prefer Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi)

My big regret when I was pregnant was having jsut started to allow myself to drink the full fat version, I was told by my GP to cut back on the my sugar, as I kept on getting sugar in my urine (although never in my blood)

Irn Bru MUST be drunk from a glass bottle like all ginger. Don't you know Any hing??

Absolutely Bobsmum and chips must be in a poke.

Ahhh I love these threads, being an exiled Scot

The closest I get to hearing a Scottish accent is ds2 (2years) running round after a bath saying "I'm in the skud, I'm in the skud"

Mind you had a lovely meet-up with another MNer who was down this way on holiday, it was great to hear my ds2's name pronounced right!!

Whats his name? Where did you used to live?

A gay chap goes into a Glasgow butcher's chop and says 'Can i have a mince round?'
The butcher replies 'You walk how ye like, pal, s'naebody's business but yer ain.'

DO hope no-one is offended by that...

and as a soapdodger i should confess that i prefer chips from edinburgh. salt n sauce, mmmmmmm

hahahaha I liked that. You cannae say soapdodger thats shocking and how can you compare salt N sauce to salt N vinegar. Do you also get pickled eggs over there? Yumm

i live in sunny glasgae, but i did live in the capital (yes, it is the capital) for many years. the shopping's shite, though, so i had to come back home. do make a pilgrimage to the harvey nicks sale twice a year, still.

what? the shoppings shite in Glasgow???? I beg to differ, Glasgows shopping capital of Europe.

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no, the shopping's shite in the capital... that's edinburgh. hence the reason i came home. don't panic, oh proud weegie, i am on the side of the gods here

it's mostly vinegar, tbh, with just a hint of brown sauce. delicious.

everythings shite in THE CAPITAL.

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Youve got that MacArthur Glen as well which is pretty cool

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At the coo's tail, as usual, having just found this thread. Here's a Scottish joke much loved by DS1 a few years ago:
There's a field full of cows. How do you know which one's on holiday? It's the one with the wee calf.

DS 2, just a little chap at the time tried: There's a field full of sheep.....etc,etc..it's the one with the wee lamb, with DS1 shouting no you idiot, that doesn't work. Ds2 took years to understand why it didn't.

It took me a minute or two to get it Merlotmama - come fo being a snob and talking in posh accent!