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Original poster

Are You Scottish?

94 replies

prettybird · 15/09/2006 10:43

Pure dead brullyant!

You know you are a true Scot if...........

  1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and

Aufurfuksake.

  1. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

  2. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

  3. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

  4. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

  5. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

  6. Ye measure distance in minutes.

  7. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

  8. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

  9. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

  10. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

  11. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

  12. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

  13. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

  14. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

  15. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

  16. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

  17. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

  18. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin

clatty

boggin

cludgie

pished

get it up ye

wee beasties

erse bandit

amurny

away an bile yer heid

peely-wally

humphey backit

Ba'-heid

baw bag

dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

OP posts:
Fimbo · 15/09/2006 12:47

That's pure dead brilliant that is ye ken. I'm fie Dundee you ken. But I am now a Norfolk snob.

Whit I would nae dae for a white puddin supper

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 12:49

My gran's baffies were always ben the hoose.

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 12:50

under the sideboard fimbo?

ps i had a white puddin supper the other day, from a brilliant chippy in monifieth

queue was about an hour long, but worth it

best chippy around

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 12:51

ye hav tae pit the big light oan tae find them

Mellowma · 15/09/2006 12:51

Message withdrawn

kando · 15/09/2006 12:54

Och, a white puddin supper ... heaven! It's been years since i had one of those! (Macaroni pie supper, anyone?)

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 12:58

Ah - the big light. I remember that from the last thread. I remember thinking wtf I don't say that. Oh how wrong was I. Dd complained about not being able to see doing her homework and then I said the immortal words - "well if you put the big light on it would help".

Original poster
prettybird · 15/09/2006 13:00

Didn't know the big light wasn't "English"!

OP posts:
Fimbo · 15/09/2006 13:01

And I miss steak sausages (don't get them in England). Thank god my parents arrive next week with lots of Scottish delights!!

LieselVonTrapp · 15/09/2006 13:04

Wi a poke o chips and a boatle a ginger.

Pinotmum · 15/09/2006 13:06

My dh is from Glasgow and he'll really enjoy this. My Glaswegian friend told me when she first came to London she went in M&S and bought some some food. At the till she said "can I have a poke" and was looked at rather oddly. She eplained poke is a bag in Glasgow

deegward · 15/09/2006 13:11

This is the girl who as a child couldn't read Oor Wullie, or The Broons, much to the amusement of my family. Was sent to private school so noone I knew talked like that, imagine the rude awakening I got when I left college and went to work in factories and my workers all spoke a language I had never heard. Now can understand, and even speak more Scots than I did as a child.

I'm famous for saying as a child " I stoated my head" rather than heid. Just going to send it to dh!!

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 13:24

who watches Still Game?

have you seen the woman on that new cbeebies programme 'Me Too'? the childminder???

its whatsername from Still Game!

lives beside Jack and Victor, nosy bint

Mateychops · 15/09/2006 13:49

Just to make you all more homesick - just back from the shops (on the Clyde coast), the sun is shining, the local jakie is already off his face and singing 'Ten guitars'. A perfect Weegie day.

Peridot30 · 15/09/2006 14:07

ive been peein masel laughing at awe yer comments. was in glesga the other day and heard wee boy sayin "naw mike gonnae no day that" total classic!!!

Mateychops · 15/09/2006 14:14

Also overheard in my hometown recently - a Granny saying to gs, 'Naw, yir naw gaun in that water, it's full of nucleur submarines, dog sh!te and I don't know all what!'

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:14

LOL mateychops

"dug shite"

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 14:15

DH can do 'Gonnae no' very well!

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 14:15

F R E E D O M

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 14:17

I take it yer no' votin' for Brown then, Fimbo ?

As DH says, 'Am I f*ck!'

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 14:19

Broon surely?

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 14:20

Gore din Broon

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 14:20

is a fanny.

Fimbo · 15/09/2006 14:23

Aye he's nae wise

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 14:24

expat, cumin ootside fur a fag?