Are You Scottish?

[prettybird]

Pure dead brullyant!

You know you are a true Scot if...........

1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and

Aufurfuksake.

2. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

3. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

4. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

5. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

6. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

7. Ye measure distance in minutes.

8. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

9. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

10. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

11. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

12. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

13. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

14. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

15. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

16. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

17. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

18. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

19. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin

clatty

boggin

cludgie

pished

get it up ye

wee beasties

erse bandit

amurny

away an bile yer heid

peely-wally

humphey backit

Ba'-heid

baw bag

dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

will you no need to send the wean out for the fags first?

i got a single aff the ice cream van the morn'

Am gonnae, NP, at the big works piss up on Sunday .

Ach, aye, gonnae be rat-arsed.

Matey,
They're bairns oover here!

oh and its yoor crash

or wee hauf

lassies, im off to the Legion tonight for a wee perty

no joke, on the jukebox is nothing but bloody Highland Cathedral, Daniel O'Donnell or Skirl and Whirl (or something)

its gonnae be a rare nicht!

lol @ NP, drunken heilan' music. that's gotta be good craic!

NP & Pal on a rare nicht oot

EIS the morning after a nicht up the toon:

mooo

LOL!

expat you are awfy bonnie

Doncha luv mah fringe?

EPIS - you are a babe!

Scotchick -I am a not (I don't think) a 'like' and 'ken' Fifer - but maybe I am just deluded!

Irn Bru should only ever be consumed when you have a raging hangover - can raise your blood sugar in about 10 nano-seconds (and of course destroy your teeth in 20)!

naw yeve got a face like dugs baws

asking for 'diet' Irn Bru in my local chippy is considered blasphemous

is that the right word? my brain is frazzed on a friday

Boak at any fizzy juice that's 'diet'.

even more lol at someone asking for a pizza supper and 'diet' irn bru

why? would you do that?

I do that cause I dont like the stuff with sugar in it, it gies me the dry boak.

Aspartame is the dry boak.

How can they do that to Irn Bru?

That's just a national disgrace!

Remember those adverts, 'Cheer up, goth, have an Irn Bru'? And they had to pull them b/c all the neds were chucking cans of Irn Bru at goths?

yes, irn bru MUSR be drunk from a can, none o' yer plastic bottle shite

MUST

It's rank if it's not out of a can.

However, DH won't drink Tennant's out of a can, b/c he says it tastes like can.