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Original poster

Are You Scottish?

94 replies

prettybird · 15/09/2006 10:43

Pure dead brullyant!

You know you are a true Scot if...........

  1. Ye can properly pronounce McConnochie, Ecclefechan,Milngavie,Sauchiehall St , St Enoch, Auchtermuchty and

Aufurfuksake.

  1. Ye actually like deep fried battered pizza fae the chippie.

  2. Yer used tae four seasons in wan day.

  3. Ye canna pass a chip/kebab shop withoot sleverin when yer blootert.

  4. Ye kin fall about pished withoot spilling yer drink.

  5. Ye see people wearin shell suits with burberry accessories - pure class!

  6. Ye measure distance in minutes.

  7. Ye kin understaun Rab C Nesbitt and know characters just like him, in yer ain family.

  8. Ye go tae Saltcoats cos ye think it is like gaun tae the ocean.

  9. Ye kin make hael sentences jist wae sweer wurds.

  10. Ye know whit haggis is made ae and stull like eating it.

  11. Somedy ye know his used a fitba schedule tae plan thur wedding day date.

  12. You've been at a wedding and fitba scores are announced in the Church/Chapel.

  13. Ye urny surprised tae find curries, pizzas, kebabs, fish n chips, iron-bru, fags and nappies all in the wan shop.

  14. Yer holiday home at the seaside has calor gas under it.

  15. Ye know irn-bru is a hangover cure.

  16. Ye learnt tae sweer afore ye learnt tae dae sums.

  17. Ye actually understand this and yurr gonnae send it tae yer pals .

  18. Finally, you are 100% Scot if you have ever said/heard these words;

how's it hingin

clatty

boggin

cludgie

pished

get it up ye

wee beasties

erse bandit

amurny

away an bile yer heid

peely-wally

humphey backit

Ba'-heid

baw bag

dubble nugget

And finally......

A wee Glesga wumman goes intae a butchershop, where the butcher has just came oot the freezer, and is standing haunds ahint his back, with his erse aimed at an electric fire. The wee wumman checks oot the display case then asks, "Is that yer Ayrshire bacon?" "Naw," replies the butcher. "It's jist ma haun's ah'm heatin'.

OP posts:
FillyjonktheBananaEater · 15/09/2006 10:45
expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 10:48

Someone came into my room and was telling me about how he looked at someone 'glaikit'.

doggiesayswoof · 15/09/2006 10:56

Great shop I pass regularly - it's called

Krack'n'buys

the sign says:

Papers - Fags - Kerry oots

Can you tell it's in Glasgow?

zephyrcat · 15/09/2006 11:11

Absolutely Brill!!!!!!

I've just bought a set of scottish fridge magnet words and for as much as I can understand most of them I have to go back and check the glossary every now and then - and even then some of them aren't on there!

Original poster
prettybird · 15/09/2006 11:14

... now I wonder how many English people will get any of it?

I have to admit that I did have to ask my collegaues about "amurny" - to thier great amusement! Just proves that I am not 100% Scottish - but I knew that anyway!

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:15

Dh comes out w/these all the time. DD1 throws out sayings - she gets those off her Nana.

gomez · 15/09/2006 11:16

That is a West Coast interrpretation of Scotland that a refined, cultivated, superior Fifer just doesn't recognise....

Aye, right hen!

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:17

I dunno, gomez, DH is pure East Coaster and he does love his pizza suppers.

With brown sauce.

Yuk.

LiliLaTigresse · 15/09/2006 11:19

what?????
I need a course in scottish
I remember having a haircut in Glasgow in Tony & Guy's I think, smiling stupidly throughout as the guy made conversation (rather one way admittedly)
didn't get a single word he said

gomez · 15/09/2006 11:20

But EPIS is it chippy brown sauce (i.e. cheap brown sauce watered down further with vinegar) or HP? Chippy sauce is yum - supplied in Barrs bottles with holes punched in the top - Christ almighty only in Scotland in fact could you sell such a thing!

Anyway you have given the game away there with salt n' sauce being East Coast and salt n' vinegar being West Coast.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:23

It's that rank chippy brown sauce.

Tastes like glue.

Boakatastic.

DD1 is mad for it, too. Yes, I knew my daughter was Scots when she asked for 'a chippy', with sauce, of course.

gomez · 15/09/2006 11:24

'Tis lovely you phillistine. Makes all your chips stick to the paper too! She will go far your DD1 with such refined tastes!

LiliLaTigresse · 15/09/2006 11:25

she might still go off it expat
dd used to loooove Marmite
now for some reason she doesn't like it anymore
weird
I love scotland and scottish people

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:26

Pizza supper w/brown sauce, though? That's BOWFIN'!

Yes, I fed my 3-year-old chippy chips and bits of pizza supper w/brown sauce.

One time, too, I gave her a wee sip of Irn Bru. She gave me a huge grin and whispered, 'Mmmmm'.

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:27

DD1 even eats haggis.

My fav is when she's being naughty, and I ask her, 'DD1, what are you doing?'

And she hides and cries out, 'No the noo!'

saltire · 15/09/2006 11:28

ditto gomez, us from the south of Scotland "dinnae understan a wurd o whits bein sed", because of course we are educated to a very ghih level!!

Original poster
prettybird · 15/09/2006 11:46

... as you know Gomez - I'm a snob from Bearsden/Milngavie - so all of this is totally incomprehensible to me!

Now that I live in Pollokshields (and have been married to a true Glaswegian fro 8 years) I understand a wee bit more!

OP posts:
scotchick · 15/09/2006 11:47

so true about irn bru.

Gomez, are you a 'like' and 'ken' Fifer? I'm an incomer to Fife, from Glasgow but my accent has definitely changed. I say definitely as opposed to definATEly!

expatinscotland · 15/09/2006 11:55

Irn Bru really is fab for hangovers and minor ailments alike.

One of the tutors passed me his nasty cold. So I made him get me a can of Irn Bru.

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 12:00

oh PMSL

i love threads like this

pyoor ded brill-yint

an ahin

Mellowma · 15/09/2006 12:07

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 12:23

i have now sent this tae a' ma pals

Mellowma · 15/09/2006 12:42

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 15/09/2006 12:42

i am still laughing at "get it up ye"

Mellowma · 15/09/2006 12:45

Message withdrawn