Awful slip of the tongue committed, I'm a shitty, shitty person.

[MrsBertMacklin]

Went to the shops this afternoon and the lady who served me had a lazy eye. We were having a bit of small talk about the flowers I was buying when she leaned down behind the counter to get a flower bag and a pen fell out of her shirt so I told her:

"Oh, you've dropped your eye."

To which she said, "Sorry?" and I said it again, then realised what I'd said so corrected myself and said sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night and keep getting my words mixed up, but she gave me a and stopped chatting to me.

I feel horrible.

BIL is a radiographer. Told a patient recently to "hop up on to the table."

He had one leg...

See now this is why I would NEVER be able to go into a shop and ask for a Dido album . I just KNOW what would happen .

I laughed too. Sorry. Eye bet she gets it all the time

Omg, just reading through these and I am in tears of laughter!

It was pouring with rain, DH and I walking along the high street, I spotted an elderly man with a soaking wet cocker spaniel dog waiting outside one of the shops. Loving dogs I stopped to chat, bent down to stroke the dog shouted up at the man 'such a wet dog he really could do with a blow job' I meant blow dry! My DH nearly died and dragged me away before the man could reply!

DH once meant to say 'Lovely, thank you,' to a shop assistant and it came out 'Love you'. As he's an unsentimental Yorkshireman who rarely even says that to me, I was a little put out...

A long time ago our old neighbour had a rat problem. One of the rat catchers popped round to ask if he could put poison down. I replied, 'Of course! Just pop it up my back passage!' I meant the back alley way!!! I shut the door and nearly died!!

Ooh reminded me. I wanted a ring, a pretty little gold band to go on my furthest finger, you know, my little finger.

I spent aggggggges lurking round a jewellers, eventually a nice young man came over asked and if he could help me with anything, was I looking for anything is particular

"I'd like a little fingering" I said.

I told another mum at baby group her PFB had 'prominent eyebrows'. The moment I said it I a) realised I had no idea where it had come from and b) knew I had sounded like a right twat.

She rightly gave me a look. I rapidly changed the subject.

Oh remember another one, I used to work in a shop when I was a teenager and was constantly saying 'can I help you?'. On a very busy bus home one night I was standing a good bit back, in those days before bells you'd shout 'next stop please', I was day dreaming and yelled at the top of my voice 'can I help you?' the other passengers looked at me like I was mad!

Oh remember another one, I used to work in a shop when I was a teenager and was constantly saying 'can I help you?'. On a very busy bus home one night I was standing a good bit back, in those days before bells you'd shout 'next stop please', I was day dreaming and yelled at the top of my voice 'can I help you?' the other passengers looked at me like I was mad!

loving this
not sure it's in the same league, but when I was in school in a woodwork lesson, the entire table was deep in conversation, about cramp ( I thought) I butted in with "I really hate it when you get that"
They were talking about crabs, yes pubic lice. Why they were talking about I still don't know

I just roared at "just a wet cunt please"

I have a far far worker one btw

I answered the phone to a customer when worked in a bookshop. She was asking me if we had any self-help books on agoraphobia. I helpfully replied "Oh, we've got loads- you're probably best off just coming in for a browse" .

Also at a little fingering. Amazing

Oh, and I blurted out "Haven't you got a lovely deep voice!" to one customer. A transsexual customer.

Pmsl at this thread "fingering" etc

Thank god dp is out he would think I'm a loon!

I've asked to get this mover to Etiquette so it doesn't disappear. I need to keep 'spare hand' in my favourites forever.

There's a transsexual man who is a customer at work, I was talking to him about a show that some students were putting on and said all the men just love dressing in womens clothes don't they.

This thread is killing me!

God. I was in a shop where a girl with one hand missing was serving. She was fumbling a bit to get the carrier bag open for the lady in front of me and the phone began ringing and the lady who was getting served said "Oh you need two hands in your job don't you!"

I think she meant "Oh you need more than one pair of hands in this job" or something but as she said it, she realised and tried to change it and it went worse!

She was SCARLET but the girl just brushed it aside...she knew I suppose it was a mistake and dealt well with it.

best thread for ages

Have tears rolling down my face reading these - poor DS thought I was crying! Needless to say when I explained why I was laughing so much he did a face. Keep em coming!

some of these are hilarious. It reminds me of this faux pas