Awful slip of the tongue committed, I'm a shitty, shitty person.

[MrsBertMacklin]

Went to the shops this afternoon and the lady who served me had a lazy eye. We were having a bit of small talk about the flowers I was buying when she leaned down behind the counter to get a flower bag and a pen fell out of her shirt so I told her:

"Oh, you've dropped your eye."

To which she said, "Sorry?" and I said it again, then realised what I'd said so corrected myself and said sorry, I didn't get much sleep last night and keep getting my words mixed up, but she gave me a and stopped chatting to me.

I feel horrible.

Poor lady & poor you!
But very very funny.
I've got a much worse one , can't tell though everyone will hate me !

I told DS to "give the man the money" in a shop before realising it was actually a woman. Very embarrassing.

I once announced that a friend had had sex with all her friends in front of someone else. What I meant was that she only had sex with friends, ie no one night stands with strangers but I made it sound like she'd shagged everyone she knew. She wasn't happy.

My colleague once said while serving a gorgeous looking lad "do you want a shag? I mean BAG, BAG, I mean do you want a BAG?!"

I laughed, the lad laughed but my colleague went bright red and wondered away muttering "oh god" under her breath

DD1 once said to a fat woman at her till Thats a lot of chocolate you have there she said it just slipped out the woman didnt hear her though

Are you likely to see her again? If you do i suggest with a breif message - sorry, im a twat!

I once offered a one armed woman "a hand"

oh god just remembered I fell over a guide dog once and then I said to the man sorry I didnt see you

'a hand'

'I didn't see you'

The tears have started!

Sorry, but another who just laughed. I have also done this before and it is horrifying.

I once said to DS at a till (he was buying chocolate and trying to give the cashier the money before it was scanned)

"don't give your money to the chocolate man" Obviously meant - "don't give your money to the man, give your chocolate to the man"

I'm still laughing..

MrsBert ,that has made me giggle out loud .My dog is giving me a really funny look too !

Sorry, but I'm laughing. Laughing in sympathy because most days I don't know how I manage to talk through the giant foot in my mouth.

Lunatic- I still cringe when I think about it!

I'm laughing too - because it makes a change that it wasn't me

I cringed at work serving a very short man, when he asked for a coffee .I said 'just a small one?'

I usually ask 'large or small?'

The worst thing is we both knew and I couldn't say anything as it would only of highlighted my faux pas, so we just looked into each-others eyes for about ten seconds.

Usual- Glad I'm not the only one with the short gags.

Ohhhh dear

Mine: was at the hair-dressers, and he asked what I wanted (wet cut, dry cut, blow dry etc). "Just a wet cunt please."

Hahaha at wet cunt

Wet cunt!!

I just wet mine myself laughing

Between this and the gavroche thread mn is on bl