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Original poster

debt and thoughts of suicide

270 replies

joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:33

I am a single mum with a ten year old.i am drowning in debt and santander are taking me to court on the 5th november for repossession.the council and debts agencies are pushingme from pillar to post.my daughter goes away on sunday for 1 week.i feel quite calm now as im planning to take my life.i know she will be looked after.i dont even know why im here.im jyst desperate i suppose

OP posts:
omletta · 25/10/2012 21:35

Stop. Your child needs you. It's only money.

brightermornings · 25/10/2012 21:38

Have you been to cab?
There will be someone who knows more than me about this.
I'm here to hold your hand if you want.

MoreBeta · 25/10/2012 21:43

Stop. You need to declare yourself bankrupt and you need to do it without delay. Your creditors will not be allowed to pursue you once you have filled in the relevant forms and your affairs have been taken over by a bankruptcy trustee appointed by the court.

You will be debt free in a year and start again.

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:44

Thank you ive done CAB the council and Cccs.im just going round in circles.its not only money when you are homeless- i just can t see a way out or a time when it would be bettet

OP posts:
stargirl1701 · 25/10/2012 21:45

Don't do this. Your baby needs you. Money is not important. You will get past this.

Please phone The Samaritans. Please. Talk to someone tonight. Keep posting if it helps.

MoreBeta · 25/10/2012 21:45

Get down to CAB straight away and they will help you through it. Look at their website from the link I put in my post above.

You can do that next week. You can regain control of your life. I have seen people in your situation and seen them come through it. The worst thing is the creditors hassling. You can make them stop.

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:48

Thank you thank you.i have spoken to cab cccs and the council already.it all comes down to me at the end of the day.everyone is kind but i just dint have the heartorenergy anymore

OP posts:
hattifattner · 25/10/2012 21:49

please contact the cccs - get yourself an appointment with them and give them all the details of all the debts. Let them help you. They are experts and they can stop all the harrassment and all the stress.

Do it tomorrow, so that you can tell Santander (and any judge, if it gets to court) that you are taking positive proactive steps to manage your debts - including theirs.

Please dont take the cowards way out - your child needs a mum, and if you get a debt plan in place, you will still have some money for the essentials in life, and not be taking food from her mouth to pay the baliffs. You may find, day to day, that you have more to spend on the essentials. Once all the essential stuff is bought, then you pay whatever is left to your creditors. SO you may owe them £3k, but if you can only afford to pay back £3 a week, then thats what they will get. The CCCS will also try and get the interest stopped altogether. Please give them a call.

Defragged · 25/10/2012 21:49

It sounds like a really difficult time and planning to take your life seems the only way - I understand that.

You're not sure why you are posting, but you are posting, which sounds to me like you might want support and help in finding a different way out?

It's good that you are posting. There are people on here and in RL can help you, even if you're not sure how at the moment. Being not sure is ok.

amillionyears · 25/10/2012 21:49

joee123,you cant see it getting better,but that doesnt mean at all that it wont be better. Hang on in there.
Have you told anyone in rl about your debt problems,apart from the agencies?

MrsBungleBear · 25/10/2012 21:51

08457 90 90 90
[email protected]

Joee, please phone the Samaritans and talk to someone. You don't need to do this and your daughter needs you.

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:53

Thankyou i had an emergency session today with cccs.they were kind.they saud concentrate on court then worry about the creditors.after leaving a dv situation with a new born child.10 years down the line all the debts are clisung in and we re lising iurhome

OP posts:
BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 25/10/2012 21:55

Op-I have no advice I'm afraid, but I wanted to say your dd needs you.

Please do not hurt yourself.
For your dd.
Just because you can't see it getting better, doesn't mean it won't.
if your home is taken, the council will house you.

Please take the advice of others on here.

Is there anyone in rl who can help support you at the moment?

amillionyears · 25/10/2012 21:55

dont know much about any of this,but do you have someone who you can stay with if it comes to that?

cynister · 25/10/2012 21:58

Joee, I have nothing else to add, except your child needs her mother. I am going to light a candle and say a prayer for you. You matter..xx

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:59

If theres an eviction order we d be placed in b&b by the council.sorry i dont know what rl is

OP posts:
giftorloan · 25/10/2012 22:00

o gosh, what a really difficult time for you, joee. I think that you really need to see your gp as well as finanical services. suicide is NOT an option, love, not with a child as young as yours. (And i speak as one who has tried it).
your financial position can be altered, and your perception and mood can be improved.
go to the gp.
follow the financial advice on here.
post on here. there is ALWAYS someone to talk to.

most importantly, make a (secret) promise to your dd that you see her into her adulthood.

amillionyears · 25/10/2012 22:01

rl means real life.

MrsBungleBear · 25/10/2012 22:01

RL means real land Joee. Are there any friends or family you can talk to?

Or The Samaritans (I gave the number above) if you prefer to talk to someone you don't know.

BoysBoysBoysAndMe · 25/10/2012 22:01

Rl is real life

CheeryCherry · 25/10/2012 22:01

Joee please think of your child...she needs you in her life. So many people are in debt right now and there is help out there. Please ring the Samaritans, they will ring you back and will have all the time in the world to help you through this. Hang on in there.

topknob · 25/10/2012 22:01

FFS op, it is only money, if you don't have it they can't have it...seriously your dd is much more important than some wanky loan/debt company, repayments can always be arranged even if they say no, fill in their wanky forms and PROVE you cannot meet their demands....I have loads of debt, I would never take my life over it, no matter how bad it gets, if I don't have it they can't have it !

Defragged · 25/10/2012 22:02

It sounds like you need to speak to someone who can listen to how this is making you feel, rather than just trying to deal with the practicalities. As others are saying the Samaritans are great at that - they will listen to you and let you tell them everything that's going on. Then solutions will follow.

Keep posting. It's showing that you do want help and another way if possible, am I right?

You say your daughter will be looked after, do you think she'd prefer you, or someone else to look after her?

MrsBungleBear · 25/10/2012 22:03

real life (sorry, typo)

kilmuir · 25/10/2012 22:04

it is only money.
look at your daughter, do you really want to leave her on her own?
some great advice on here.
i wish you well, hang in there and go bankrupt if you must

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