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Original poster

debt and thoughts of suicide

270 replies

joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:33

I am a single mum with a ten year old.i am drowning in debt and santander are taking me to court on the 5th november for repossession.the council and debts agencies are pushingme from pillar to post.my daughter goes away on sunday for 1 week.i feel quite calm now as im planning to take my life.i know she will be looked after.i dont even know why im here.im jyst desperate i suppose

OP posts:
Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:26

Thank you thank you xxx i will definitely come back

OP posts:
kilmuir · 25/10/2012 23:27

national debt line were great with a friend of mine. do give them a call, they will guide you and help lift the dark cloud

Defragged · 25/10/2012 23:28

Good to know you're better for posting. and great to hear your feeling like facing next week with support. That's a huge shift - good for you Smile
My instinct is you will feel even better with RL support too, I know it's hard, but please, please think about that.
Do let us know tomorrow how you're doing.
Amazing woman facing the world tomorrow.
Sleep well.

lucyellenmum · 25/10/2012 23:28

Ive not heard of mortgage rescue, but see if you can push that again, if they can help you over this stage then it would cost them a lot less in the long run if you went "homeless" gave up work and went on benefits!! (might even look this up myself as i know we have a difficult few months ahead of us in the new year). You are inspirational! Keep going - i promise you, this time next year this will seem like a bad dream.

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:29

Thank you.i had an emergency session with cccs today.the council insisted i went through themxxx

OP posts:
kilmuir · 25/10/2012 23:29

sleep well. grab tomorrow by the balls, start of new beginnings. stand tall, tits out, you can get through this

CheeryCherry · 25/10/2012 23:31

Take care x

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:32

Thank you again everyone and speak tomorrow. As my colleagues tell ne, i may not be Wonderwoman but I am a good one !! Thank you xxx

OP posts:
kilmuir · 25/10/2012 23:34

look forward to catching up tomorrow

BettySuarez · 25/10/2012 23:35

Someone should tweet a link to this thread to fucking Santander, How dare they treat someone in this way Sad

RyleDup · 25/10/2012 23:37

Keep talking sweetie. As other people have said, money is just money. There is light at the end of the tunnel, you just can't see it yet. Please keep posting back, support is always here for you.

Merinda · 25/10/2012 23:38

joee123, I have had some really horrible times in life, so understand completely how you feel.
BUT, your daughter needs you! She needs someone to confide into, to share her joys and dreams. She will need her mom at her side for advice, for the tough times, for the happy times. Nobody will be able to feel that void.
You need to be strong for her.
And you will sort it out, one step at a time. Just prepare mentally for a load of sh.t, but you will be fine.
Think of all the wonderful times you have and will spend together with your daughter!

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:38

They've been absolute shits :-( they have tried to force me to make arrangenents I just can t afford. Maybe whats happenung to me could help someone else xx

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LittleTyga · 25/10/2012 23:42

Joee I was where you were the last time the Tories were in and we had a big recession. Mortgage, credit cards, car loans etc etc......made redundant - more debt - found another job - made redundant - more debt - everytime I look back I see darkness and despair - it was awful. Flat was repossessed - I had to go back home and live with my parents - but I still had my health - I know it's a glib thing to say - but you can make a fresh start - start again, rid yourself from all this. Please do not kill yourself over money. You'll get through this and your daughter sounds adorable.

Im now living a debt free life, no credit, working hard and two beautiful daughters. You'll get through this and come out the other side where the sun will shine again and you and your daughter can relax and have fun again.

We're here for you - you can do it :)

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:42

Night everyone thank you again and speak tomorrow definitely xxx

OP posts:
lucyellenmum · 25/10/2012 23:44

They sound like utter cunts to be honest, but you know, i think you need to go to bed now. Store that anger and throw it back at the fuckers at the right time. Talk to the national debt line when you have some time (might be an idea to get a budget sheet done before you do - there is a template in their website and it sorts all the monthly, weekly payments etc for you - does the maths) Will help you come up with a proposal with all the figures, priority debts first and how you will pay etc, then the annoying niggly fuckers get whats left, even if its a pound a month! Once you have a reasonable plan you then can present that to the court. An AFFORDABLE plan that you can stick to, show them how commited you are to it. This buys you time and allows you to plan what next. You can do this! Im sure you would fight like a tigress for your youngsters you work wiht, do it for yourself, you are worth it.

Now - bed!!!

Flumpy2012 · 25/10/2012 23:45

Joee123

Firstly I don't know exactly how you feel but I have hit absolute rock bottom over debts and it was an awful time, I didn't have a child though. But a stranger basically saved me and I owe him for the turning point in my life. People say its only money but it's not it's everything unfortunately. So firstly massive hugs.

Secondly please please pm me if you need somewhere to go. A stranger helped me and I would do the same for anyone else, I may not be close by but I couldn't see you and DD homeless. I know no one will truly understand how you're feeling and you will just want out but please know there is kindness and humanity left and sometimes when you've no idea how to put one foot in front of the other anymore the person you least expect will carry you xx

RyleDup · 25/10/2012 23:48

No Joee, it wouldn't help someone else. You would become another statistic, thats all. But for your daughter, it would mean everything. Suicide is not the way forward. If you can't pay back, declare bankcruptcy. Someone posted a link upthread on what to do. Just do it. It will free you of the debt, and your child needs you. Which is the most important thing, yes?

Flippityjig · 25/10/2012 23:50

We have some debt problems too and I know how it feels when they hassle you. These banks and loan companies are all bullies and just out to scare you. I found a wonderful forum where people who had been through similar problems advise others, I think it's allaboutdebt.com but will check tomorrow and post the link here. They are great at helping. There will be a way out of this. But you will ruin your daughter's life if you take your life, no matter whether you think she's better off with others. She loves you and will never understand why you would leave her. Please hang in in there, there's always a way.

I'll come to court with you, whereabouts in the country are you? Or help you write to Santander (I'm dealing with them as well). Or anything else I can do to help.

Original poster
joee123 · 25/10/2012 23:50

Bless you.I see kindness and humanity everyday at work in often the worst situations.i am going to sleep now, but will definitely be back tomorrow xxx

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babysaurus · 26/10/2012 00:00

Joee123 I have only skim read the thread but had to post.

Santanter are cunts. Me and DH were, for various reasons, deeply in the red and then they wrote and told us they were putting the credit card interest up to 30%. If we weren't happy with this we could close the account. We didn't have the 8k we needed to close the account so ended up selling up and moving to a far smaller house and are still (not solely still due to Santander) in the red.

As so many others have said, money is not worth your daughter losing her mother for. But I am starting to suspect you see that too.

Everyone, even if currrently anonymous, is here for you. I suspect you are starting to know that too Wink

Please come back tomorrow. PLEASE xx

DIddled · 26/10/2012 00:02

Sleep tight Joee and you'd better get back n here tomorrow!!? Xxxxx look at flumpy and flip- these people really want to help! Mumsnet have saved my sanity on a couple of occasions-hope they can do this for you too xxxxxx

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 07:18

Just letting everyone know I am up and getting ready for work.Getting girl up for a day with famuly.Thank you agsun and I ll post later xxx

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tallwivglasses · 26/10/2012 07:28

Just caught up with this joee. Aren't mumsnetters amazing?

So are you, btw. Have a good day x

amillionyears · 26/10/2012 07:30

yeah,joee123

Mnetters are always here for everyone,day and night. x