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Original poster

debt and thoughts of suicide

270 replies

joee123 · 25/10/2012 21:33

I am a single mum with a ten year old.i am drowning in debt and santander are taking me to court on the 5th november for repossession.the council and debts agencies are pushingme from pillar to post.my daughter goes away on sunday for 1 week.i feel quite calm now as im planning to take my life.i know she will be looked after.i dont even know why im here.im jyst desperate i suppose

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brightermornings · 26/10/2012 07:43

Joe have a good day. I was worried about you last night. You can and will get through this. I feel so angry about how your being treated.
Today is a new day. We will all be here when you need us.

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 08:05

I am off to work which seems more normal. I ll be bak later thanks everyone xxx

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fuckadoodlepoopoo · 26/10/2012 08:12

Santander are a nightmare! We've tried to improve our situation of debt and they just didn't want to help at all! We came up with a solution but they kept putting more and more obstacles in our way. My dh went in to try to prove our financial hardship and they just didn't want to know.

Id move banks if i didn't owe them so much money!

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 08:23

I was 8 years with A & L until sadly Santander took over :-( they really are dreadful to deal with

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fuckadoodlepoopoo · 26/10/2012 08:44

Do you have a zero account? I used to get loads of charges on my account which screwed me over until i switched to that. I think its available to anyone who also has a mortgage with them.

lucyellenmum · 26/10/2012 08:55

So glad to see your update and that you are feeling a bit stronger. One step at a time, we are all rooting for you.

Objectivity is your friend Joeey, fucking banks, quite happy to encourge practically force it on people people to borrow money but suddenly not interested in helping when people are struggling, it makes me seethe.

Don't let the bastards get you down - you are a fantastic and capable woman, you will come through this.

AlmostAHipster · 26/10/2012 09:01

Honey, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better today. Don't give up - your daughter needs you. There are thousands of people in your position so you're not alone. I've heard Satan-der are right shits so don't let the bastards grind you down. You are needed in this world!!

Xroads · 26/10/2012 09:01

Well done Joee123

I tried to od at 18 due to undiagnosed PND and circumstances - like being abused by my ex, another ex stalking me, thought dd would be better off if someone else looked after her, I didn't succeed, a year later I evicted from a flat, aged 19 with a 2yr old, no money was on prozac and was being abused.

11yrs on I am married, have dd2, run my own business and over the past 2 yrs have started being creative, I paint and do floristry.

I'm still in debt but will be totally debt free in 18mths.

It hasn't been easy but I'm here. You CAN deal with this just do 1 day at a time x

AlmostAHipster · 26/10/2012 09:02

Xposted re bastards! :)

MrsBungleBear · 26/10/2012 09:06

Glad to see your update Joee. Sending you lots of strength xx

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 09:29

Thank you thank you all.please keep posting all your thoughts and ideas.It really is helping to give me some strength back xxx

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amillionyears · 26/10/2012 09:40

Just found this

www.mirror.co.uk/money/city-news/santander-uk-banks-nearly-2800-1399577

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 09:42

Aaaagrhhh:-( all that profit and no thought for customers X

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lucyellenmum · 26/10/2012 09:44

This is good joeeee.

I have just had a thought actually, a slightly different situation but this may be worth looking at. We had a CCJ that we couldn't keep up with and they put a charging order on our house. This was over just about £1,000. I was convinced we would lose our house. When we spoke to their lawyer at the court we expressed this concern and he said that it is a human rights issue, we have our DD to keep housed and no court would force a sale over that amount of money. It might be worth using that angle in your case, especially if they have been less than helpful. Now you said there were arrangements but you couldnt' afford them - had they asked for incoming/outgoings details? When we were in mortgage arrears we originally agreed to an arrangement that meant we were paying over £1,000 a month Shock we couldnt maintain it and of course it made things worse so what they did was put us on interest only, but still collected the normal amount of money each month (about 600) and used it to pay off the arrears. Effectively putting the main mortgage on hold. This cleared the arrears. It is never too late to come up with offers, realistic ones.

The thing is, if you can't afford your normal payments it may be time to consider calling it a day on the house but it makes sense to fight for the opportunity to be able to sell on the open market rather than have to just hand back the keys.

Just because you are in debt doesn't mean you don't have any rights, find out what these are, look for things you can do. You have a child that will be made homeless (now we all know that this wont happen!!) technically if the bank persue this, you can definately use this in your favour.

Maybe make an appointment with your MP??

LittleTyga · 26/10/2012 11:42

Getting good debt advice for me was a revelation! There was so much I didn't know - The most satisfying moment when I felt I had turned a corner was when my Mortgage company phoned me at work and I was able to say - I am dealing with this matter, I will write to you in due course and if you phone me again I will call the police and report you for harassment - Apparently it is against the law for companies to harass you for money - Get some other advice - there is loads of info out there to protect you - have a good day!

Defragged · 26/10/2012 13:26

Hi Joee so good to hear you're feeling more positive today.

Just a thought - is there anyone you can talk to at work a bit about how you're feeling? Do you have supervision at all?

I'm only saying this because I relate to your situation - I used to work in a similar envirnoment and when I was going through a tough time, thought I was doing ok until I was faced with a situation that triggered stuff that was going on for me - it really helped to get support from colleagues who helped share my responsibilities out a bit for a short while.

Is there anyone you can share with that you're concerned that you might be a bit vulnerable when your dd is away next week? It really does sound like you are in a supportive place, and a bit of support might go a long way Smile

Xroads story is really inspiring.

Flippityjig · 26/10/2012 17:44

Joee123, sorry I didn't get to post earlier. The forum for debt advice is allaboutdebt.co.uk, not sure about underscores etc. Let me know if you struggle to find it. They really are good at giving advice and helped us a lot.

I had a few more thoughts - do you have any family who could lend you money to pay off Santander?

Also, my son has recently run up some debt and went to a consolidation company. They charge him for sorting it all out but he no longer has to deal with the banks he owes money to, which means he is no longer harassed.They are debtline.net if you want to talk to them and see if they can help. Normally I hate the thought of paying someone to do something I can do myself but maybe in order to take some of the pressure off, it might be an idea? Not sure, just trying to think of all the different things you can do.

Also, if you are in North Yorkshire I have a spare room I can rent out for a while if you need a roof over your head.

DIddled · 26/10/2012 18:02

Hi Joee just checking in to see you are ok- no words of wisdom just hoping you feel a bit brighter xxx

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:22

Just in phew.some things to do, but wanted all you good folks to know i got through today.I spoke to Cccs again.they say sort house out first then deal with debts.they can advise me on iva or bancruptcy. I have income n expenduture form for court council and santander.council relented today ans said if santander agreed they would look at helping us with mortgage rescue.santander say no so far. I still cant wirk them out, we d get to stay in our home and they'd get their money.we d just rent our home at a more affiordable rate and would nt be made homeless.Im still here thanks to all the help and support in the posts.will be back later xxx

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Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:23

Bless you.desperately hoping it won t be needed xxx

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Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:24

Also had good chat with boss.and sort of let my friends know im sorta struggling xxx

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brightermornings · 26/10/2012 21:26

Little steps joe. I'm so glad you've had some positive news today.
Have you and your dd any plans for the weekend??

Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:28

It really has helped me today, with all the posts.Somehow you ve given me some strength to fight back today.I am expecting to swing btween fighting and despair, but im still here tonight.thank you thank you xxx

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Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:30

We are taking my uncle to do his shoppibg tomorrow.then my gyal goes awsy Sunday.I know that will be tuff, as ive sirt of been esiting fir her to leave xxx

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Original poster
joee123 · 26/10/2012 21:31

We live in gloucestershire

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