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Original poster

Dinner with a-list celebs, I am so not ready...

224 replies

25kilopumpkin · 24/10/2011 22:02

My job, at times, can propel me into strange circumstances. I have just learnt that it is very likely i will be "spending the night" in the London home of a v famous celeb couple... I am not cool, have nothing to wear, and easily impressed... WTF do I do now?

OP posts:
TeamDamon · 09/11/2011 20:57

Well, no, you can't but what do you expect when starting a deliberately provocative thread like this which is major stealth-boasting under the guise of asking advice? - ooh I get to hang out with celebs and do a really important and top secret job which I am going to tantalise you with but not tell you about so I can feel even more super-duper special!

crazynanna · 09/11/2011 21:00

I tell ya...if it's JP,I will hunt ya down!!! Envy

crazynanna · 09/11/2011 21:01

Who's JP? JD

OctonautsOnRepeat · 09/11/2011 21:03

But would the OP have got the same advice had she not told us the details about the job?

I don't think she was stealth-boasting, unless people are jealous of someone who has no steady income and a job that involves a lot of travel, looking good and having to impress celebs.

Fair play to her, she's worked hard and tried not to give toomuch info away but has been pressured into reavealing too much.

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 09/11/2011 21:05

You said earlier that you either have the ability or you don't, but just said that you had to train and study to do your job. Now I'm even more confused. Am dying to know what your job is - I reckon you don't want us to know in case we all retrain and nick your job Grin.

Original poster
25kilopumpkin · 09/11/2011 21:06

Sorry guys, can see it could look like boasting, genuinely not my intention but fair point! Sorry Sad

OP posts:
northernmonkey · 09/11/2011 21:09

Oh ffs why does everyone have to be so defensive with the OP Hmm

25kilo....All I can say is you have dissapointed me. How could you NOT eat your dinner off of JD!!!
Now if it was me I would have made him put his captain jack costume on and sorted him there and then Grin

I'm not envious of you seeing him in his shorts either Envy
Btw if you have any pics please feel free to pm them me
Ta very muchly Wink

liger · 09/11/2011 21:22

Thanks for sharing as much as you have 25k - it's been a fascinating glimpse into a different way of working - will ponder what this is all about for weeks!

JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 09/11/2011 21:22

I have a bit of a 'problem' maybe...

I only like JD as a filthy gypsy in Chocolat, or a Capt. Jack Sparrow in PofC.

In real life I find him a bit meh. sorry.

midnightexpress · 09/11/2011 22:20

Sooooo, let me get this right, you can tell RL people what you do and they are amazed that you can fit it in with your family etc., but you can't tell us, who don't have a clue who you are? How does that work then? Hmm

AitchTwoOh · 09/11/2011 22:26

of COURSE she was boasting, it's a brilliant fun thing to meet a big jazzy star, why can't she boast about it? i don't get this place sometimes... everyone's enjoyed the thread, haven't they? no animals were harmed? so why take any of it personally, and let the woman have her fun.

AitchTwoOh · 09/11/2011 22:27

because, midnight, she could be one of 25 people or however many who was there that night, right up until the point where she says what she does for a living. and if she has a boss, or if some other a-lister is reading, then they might not use her.

SayItIsntSo · 09/11/2011 22:33

Glad to hear that it all went well and you've got your post-DC work mojo back - mini yorkshire puddings sound yum but unexpected! My brother does a job so unusual that if I mentioned it on here it would pretty much out him (and by association, me - yikes), so understand your reticence.

midnightexpress · 09/11/2011 22:35

Ah right. Well I wouldn't hire her either, if she goes straight onto the interweb to tell everyone who she met. Given that it's all so hush-hush and all. But jolly good. At least I know that Johnny's youthful looks are down to botox and not a picture in his attic.

WhatsWrongWithYou · 09/11/2011 22:38

Well, I mainly lurked, but found it all fascinating and a good larff. Makes a change from the worthy threads I usually feel obliged to lurk post on.

I did google security jobs celebrities or something similar and the only thing I could see about natural aptitude was the need for acute senses of hearing and sight. So if it is security-related (which I think the OP implied it was), the abilities required aren't necessarily wu-style.
Just saying.

saffronwblue · 09/11/2011 22:42

I knew we were never going to find out! Glad it went well 25k. Are you going to, like, hang out with him some more?

MustControlFistOfDeath · 09/11/2011 22:51

OMG Johnny Depp

NO WAY could I stay in the same house as him overnight and not hunt him down and shag him senseless I would drug him if necessary (sorry Vanessa but needs must)

Fucking Hell, Johnny Depp!!!!!!!

kittya · 10/11/2011 00:25

Im so confused. How did you know he had OPI nail varnish on? Did you go through his makeup box? Did he sleep there the same night as you all did? Did you have a jamming session? I really wanted him to be passing the joints around. I'm most gutted that he pops vitamins and drinks water not JD and coke.

happybubblebrain · 10/11/2011 00:51

I've guessed your job OP. Do you advise Johnny Depp and other celebs how to get cocaine (and bats) past airport security?

LoopyLoopsRootyFroots · 10/11/2011 00:53

DH says "It's obvious - body double".

Discuss.

Pan · 10/11/2011 01:17

has any poor soul on here actually been believing any of this? tsk.

Original poster
25kilopumpkin · 10/11/2011 02:50

To everyone, nice and not, PM-ing me...

I have not given myself away and shared too much, obviously I have altered enough info so people I work with wont know its me, but it wouldn't be an issue if they did to be honest, although they would probably wonder why I bothered asking advice when people get so nasty!

I have not based this thread on an interview J Depp did on TV!!??! Grin or anyone else. In point of fact I have not said it even was J Depp or even if the 2 celebs have even been mentioned on here yet!?

It's not a wind up but has started to get v odd so Thanks again for good advice earlier and that's all! X

OP posts:
kittya · 10/11/2011 06:01

That's horrible if people have been sending you mean pm's how nasty. Did he have a 25 bedroomed house then or did he get the blowup beds out?!

puzzlesum · 10/11/2011 06:17

I assume you can't be a dialect coach given JD's bizarro accent on Graham Norton last week Wink

Hope you can grow your business now you're back in the saddle, so to speak.

kittya · 10/11/2011 07:06

Are you teaching him to ride a bike?