Dinner with a-list celebs, I am so not ready...

[25kilopumpkin]

My job, at times, can propel me into strange circumstances. I have just learnt that it is very likely i will be "spending the night" in the London home of a v famous celeb couple... I am not cool, have nothing to wear, and easily impressed... WTF do I do now?

I think it was I who said "I will hunt you down if it was JD"...because I will!
And I said about nail polish,as he had it on in his TV interview.
It was Johny,wasn't it? Mm? It was?

Course it was. He's on the radio now and it was recorded a couple of days ago. The first thing Lisa Snowden mentioned was the nail varnish but, why is he talking in a strange Irish/English accent.

I'm just having difficulty imagining 25randoms sleeping in Johnny Depps house whilst he was there and him coming down in his shorts while everyone was helping themselves to toast. It's such a bizarre vision I'm having!! How big was this house? I'm assuming he lives near Tim Burton? Why did people have to sleep there? Surely he would have his own bathroom? Are you a special affects makeup person? How else did you see his stash of nail varnish?

Maybe 25 said 'ooh I like your nail varnish what colour is it?' and Johnny said 'OPI '?

I'm having great difficulty imagining him filing his nails mind you he does have a slight feminine side.

There is surely no job on earth that would require a team of people to sleep at a slebs house as guests while said sleb was in residence, even if it was a woo thing, you'd be put up at a hotel.

Fun thread though

No, no, I've got it! OP does Supernanny!

And she had to put little Johnny on the naughty step?

I've enjoyed the thread not taking the whole thing as seriously as some...

My guess is, hypothetically speaking , the OP was there to advise him that, great though the character Jack Sparrow has been, it's time to move on. Leave the franchise alone now Johnny, it's had it's day. Security element being necessary for the more, erm, nutty JS fans who may not take that so well

Maybe they are remaking Through the Keyhole? or, hes going to be on Who do You think you Are? and his relatives are Irish hence, the silly accent?

Its the sleepover that throws me.

Maybe OP is Louis Theroux's camerawoman or something

at Through the Keyhole.

My imagination is working overtime trying to fathom the OP's job.

Are you a one of these ghost hunter type people. Ohhjh Yvette Fielding hunting ghosts in Jd's house.

Maybe a mentalist type person? (I'm not being rude, I mean like the programme)

Or someone who is an expert in body language etc who is trained in security to sort out the mad stalkers from the fans?

ghost hunting is a good one. Maybe 25 people included a film crew?

I think you fit fake prosthetics to aid slebs in security type situations- covers the training, the science bit but also the talent bit to make them look believable

I thought it was something to do with make up. Is JD that precious that he would need 25 people for secuirity? Why is he in this country anyway? he seems to be everywhere.

I love this idea that what some people do is soooooooooooo exclusive that it will out them if they admit to it - SayItIsntSo - unless your brother is David Cameron or Barack Obama or similar, I'm guessing you could probably tell us what he does and many of us won't have a scooby doo who he is

Or Jack Bauer!! Aren't we all under false names on here anyway?

at Jack Bauer. But remember, they have to be instantly identifiable by their job alone!

Like me saying - actually, I'm an English teacher - and you all say, oh my god you must be... Except there are about sixty squillion English teachers so...

Am really racking my brain to think of anyone who is at once so high profile AND does a job so singular that we could identify him by his job alone. Unless, like I say, he's Prime Minister or Chancellor of the Exchequer or - nope, can't think of any other jobs which only one person does.

Well ... there's the Queen.

If the Queen is SayItIsntSo's brother, the Royal family clearly has more skeletons in its closet that I thought

Even if he was a prince, we wouldn't know which one...

Watches are involved too remember. Whatever it is 'they' all need synchronised watches.

I've always wanted a job where I've needed to synchronise watches

In teaching I just get whinged at if I let my class out late because my watch is slow.

Right. let's make a list of clues:

1. Watches (synchronised)
2. Natural aptitude
3. Security
4. 25 people
5. Life-coaching 'by-product' of main job
6. Lots of kids (am adding clues to celebs too here) - later becomes 'a daughter'
7. Nail varnish
8. Botox
9. Man make-up
10. Lots of time in the bathroom

Feel like Sherlock here! What have I missed?

I think the "being outed" thing is that whilst someone may post something on one thread, when it is added up to other things posted on MN it is easy for someone who knows the poster in RL to put them together and work out who they are - as has happened before.

So yes we may not be able to identify them, but someone might.

I was outed on babycentre for mentioning DS wanting to keep the mice that lived in the composter as pets because it tied in with other stuff I had posted.