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Dinner with a-list celebs, I am so not ready...

224 replies

25kilopumpkin · 24/10/2011 22:02

My job, at times, can propel me into strange circumstances. I have just learnt that it is very likely i will be "spending the night" in the London home of a v famous celeb couple... I am not cool, have nothing to wear, and easily impressed... WTF do I do now?

OP posts:
crackedblackpepper · 09/11/2011 11:09

It was Depp because he had nail varnish on on Graham Norton last week Yaye Grin

ColdSancerre · 09/11/2011 11:56

I am also very interested in knowing whjat you because I'm nosy like that and it sounds so intriguing. Security related but you need a natural talent and loads of training?

deaconblue · 09/11/2011 12:20

Are you a raiki master? Tai chi teacher? Have been puzzling over this for weeks. I need to know what the guest bedroom was like, what you ate and if johhny drop smells as he looks like he might. Is he is druggie- that might explain ages in the bathroom

northernmonkey · 09/11/2011 12:41

If it is Johnny Envy what did he smell like Grin

SamsGoldilocks · 09/11/2011 12:48

northernmonkey PSML

YaMaYaMa · 09/11/2011 12:57

Did you lick his face? I would have licked his face.

northernmonkey · 09/11/2011 12:58

I would have licked more than his face!!! In fact I would have eaten my dinner off of him Wink

YaMaYaMa · 09/11/2011 13:08
Grin
JaxTellerIsMyFriend · 09/11/2011 16:13

aha glad all went well

TheLaineyWayIsEssex · 09/11/2011 17:08

Still confused about the watch thing.
Ahh botox explains why he has started to look a bit straaaange.

kittya · 09/11/2011 18:21

Im dissappointed that he has botox and, why did he keep nipping out ? I dread to think Why did you all need watches and, why did he have to listen to you? Was he there in his pj's the next day?

25kilopumpkin · 09/11/2011 19:28

You lot are making me ROTFL! I have not said who it was, ahem.

RIght, food was a posh buffet thing, OBVIOUSLY, i should have realised they had caterers although we had access to the kitchen if we wanted to make toast or something in the night (LIKE AS IF!) There was sushi, little mini toad in the holes (!), mini fish and chips, and lots of nibbly things goats cheese and onion relish etc for veggies. Loads of fruit and raw veggies, NO CAKE, but some nice little yog pot things (was v tempted to nick one of the little dishes, pathetically, not because of the job but because they were cute) I didn't see him eat anything at much at all the entire time, but he drank lots of coffee and water (i think it was water a weird sort of silver diamond sort of bottle, and he took lots of vitamins and picked at the fruit.

My room was v small but v lovely. Dark wooden flooring with naice rugs, high bed with lovely duvet like a cloud and white cotton linen. Minimal room and bathroom with big shower head (like dinner plate size) and lots of nice smellies in unlabelled jars...

I. CANT. TELL. YOU. THE. JOB. only that I advise on a security related matter which almost no one else can do. You either have the ability or you don't, if you do you need to specialise in one of a couple of other areas in order to put it to use. Part of what I do has been mentioned. I am not psychic Grin, reiki, nutritionist, or anything like that but its probably not something you have heard of. I would know if he was on drugs and I did not think so, he was vain though I reckon but very funny, polite and respectful and I am only speculating about the botox. I was indeed close enough to SMELL him ha ha, and he didn't smell of "scent" cant believe I am saying this he smelt vaguely of incense which i think was the posh cigarettes and of soap. It was a nice smell, he looks a lot younger than he is, I was amazed to find out his real age. He has his earphones in all the time. er, CAN I STOP NOW? [BLUSH]

OP posts:
25kilopumpkin · 09/11/2011 19:31

OH, and ha ha ha! He was not in his PJs at breakfast, he had shorts on which was weird really because it was too cold for shorts and his legs were a bit like a woman still gorg though has to be said

OP posts:
ColdSancerre · 09/11/2011 19:34

Oh but I REALLY need to know. Do you have a superior sense of smell? X-ray vision?

kittya · 09/11/2011 19:49

Did the posh cigarette breath smell of weed? He strikes me as the kind of guy that likes a puff. The vitamins have thrown me. Does he apply his own make up and speak in a fake Irish accent?

CamperFan · 09/11/2011 19:59

I am utterly intrigued about what 25kilo does - can people please make some more suggestions?

kittya · 09/11/2011 20:03

Martial arts teacher?

WhatsWrongWithYou · 09/11/2011 20:11

Are you an X-wo man?

BellsandWhistles · 09/11/2011 20:19

Wow, Pumpkin. What a great - and intriguing - thread. Thanks for coming back with the updates. I have literally no idea what you do, but it sounds great.

midnightexpress · 09/11/2011 20:21

Are you a ninja?

wildstrawberryplace · 09/11/2011 20:22

pet psychologist
feng shui

crazynanna · 09/11/2011 20:23

Does he wear purple nail polish? Because if he does...we are having words young lady It's him,isn't it?

wildstrawberryplace · 09/11/2011 20:23

medium

midnightexpress · 09/11/2011 20:23

Why can't you tell us what the job is?

ColdSancerre · 09/11/2011 20:25

She's a witch (don't mean that in the horrible sense I hasten to add). She casts spells to keep a home secure.