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The Phoebe Marlow Academy of Trumpery Novel Writing at the University of Milton Northern

1000 replies

LadyDamerel · 28/07/2011 01:08

Welcome to the new faculty.

Selected classes available in:

Running Away
Setting of broken bones
Seafaring lore
Care of Small Boys
Humouring of Dangerous Lunatics

Our patroness is considered rather taking when she is animated

and the Vice Chancellor would like to remind you all of the importance of the wearing of a correctly tied cravat.

OP posts:
SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 22:14

Oh, yes she should, though, Twigs, cos then I can have a peek too! Wink

PassTheTwiglets · 17/08/2011 22:21

Lets not pressure her, Massive - really Spiro, any time in the next 30 seconds will be fine. :o

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 22:25

Grin @ Twigs.

I was really only joking, too.

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 22:41

OK - who's still around? It's just a bit of brief silliness thrown together to help you get over the disappointment of your cancelled sojourn to France, Twigs.

PassTheTwiglets · 17/08/2011 22:42

Post it, post it!!!!!!!!

PassTheTwiglets · 17/08/2011 22:43
SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 22:46
SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 22:47

Though actually this belongs to Twigs, I should not partake.

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 22:49

Here you go!

Twigs flopped lethargically onto the park bench and watched her offspring hurtle off in the direction of the large climbing frame. She was suffering from summer holiday malaise, compounded by the cancellation of the trip to France she?d had planned for the day. Just about the only thing that had prevented her pouring Chateau Gisbourne on her cornflakes for the previous few days had been looking forward to the outing and enjoying some less than virtuous memories of another day trip to France some months earlier.

She flushed slightly as she remembered John Lucas, the leather clad sex god she?d met in a First Class carriage on that fateful journey. It seemed a bit inappropriate to be fantasising about the way he?d pinned her to the carriage door with those well-muscled arms and the way his stubble had grazed her lips as he kissed her when she was surrounded by small children.

A small voice interrupted her reverie. ?Mummy, I want a drink.? Reaching into her large bag she handed bottle of water to each of her children.
She was just about to suggest a wander to the paddling pool, when a pretty young woman approached her, clipboard in hand, and began giving her a friendly but obvious sales pitch for the Park?s kids club. Twigs was sorely tempted by the idea of an hour to read her book and eat a ?99 in peace, but knew that her son was too little. She was just about to lose patience with the other woman?s spiel when she said, ?And we have a Club Mini?s programme running at the same time for the younger children, so your little one needn?t feel left out??
?Please Mum,? her daughter was pulling her sleeve, ?Please can we go. There?s loads of activities and I?ve seen my friend from school and she?s going and??
?I wanna go too Mummy,? joined in her youngest.
?It?s only in the hut by the paddling pool,? the woman reassured her. ?I?ll take your mobile number and you?re welcome to pop in and check on this young man?? she ruffled Master Twigs hair, ?,,,anytime.?
Twigs was convinced. She filled in consent forms, paid the small fee and watched as two excited children headed into the activity barn. She gave it ten minutes, then strolled past the barn, surreptitiously peeking in the window to check the kids were ok, before taking a leafy path to the pair of ice cream kiosks a couple of hundred yards away.

Having missed the mass exodus of parents who?d beat a hasty retreat as soon as their offspring were out of sight, the path was quiet and with the sun making dappled shadows on the ground, had a vibe that was at once magical and slightly unnerving. Twigs felt a strange sense of discomfort, as if she was being watched, but knew it was nonsense. Too much time reading kids stories over the holidays she thought wryly. But when she turned a bend in the path a minute later, she was proved wrong in the most unexpected way.

She couldn?t help the brief gasp that stuck in her throat when she saw him. The leathers had gone and he was wearing dark blue jeans and a fitted black v-neck t-shirt that was just on the right side of indecently tight fitting. The stubble had also gone and his hair was shorter, but there was no escaping those piercing blue eyes.
?John Lucas?? she murmured.
He smiled, looking her over appreciatively, before replying, ?I thought it was you. Had to be sure though ? where are you off to??
?Just dropped the kids at the activity centre,? she blushed, realising her knew absolutely nothing about her real life, ?It?s a good book and an ice cream for me.? She looked up at him, smiling shyly.
Well,? he said, the deep, husky voice stirring all sorts of feelings in Twigs that she could well do without at the point in time, ?Ice cream sounds good. I?m sure I can think of more interesting pursuits for next couple of hours than reading though.?

^They continued down the path as John told Twigs that he was there to meet his twin brother who worked as a park warden, but he?d been ?unavoidably detained by some kind of fencing emergency, apparently.?
In reaching the kiosks they found that only one was open and the queue was enormous.^
?Never mind,? said John, ?Where there?s a will there?s a way?? and he grabbed her hand and pulled her to the rear of the closed kiosk. He deftly sprung the lock on the back door and led her quickly inside, leaving the door ajar. Twigs was watching him, open mouthed at his audacity.
?Sorry love,? he shrugged, a faint hint of Yorkshire accent just detectable in his voice, ?Sign of a misspent youth.?
His smile made Twigs go week at the knees ? she was hoping more than ever now for a misspent afternoon.
He pulled the ice cream machine handle and she watched, her heart pounding as he piped a rosette of ice cream on his fingertip and raised it to his mouth.
?Yep, it?s working,? he grinned, ?But, oh dear??
?What is it?? asked Twigs, silently praying that whatever it was didn?t involve his brother suddenly becoming available.
John reached an arm round the back of her to push the door shut, and she felt his hot breath on her ear as he whispered, ?We appear to have run out of cornets??

PassTheTwiglets · 17/08/2011 22:50

It's ok, Massive, I'm very good at sharing my toys!

PassTheTwiglets · 17/08/2011 22:58

Waaaaa, I love it!!! Thank you SO much, that definitely makes up for it!! The bit with him putting the icecream on his finger was..... YUM :)

Happy Twigs
x

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 23:00
Smile

And just to add - I'm not stalking you. I had the idea this morning when you first mentioned you weren't going, then saw your FB post this afternoon and put 2 & 2 together!

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:02

Oh Golly Mr Whippy was never like this!

That was absolutely brilliant, Spiro.

Thanks for sharing your toys Twigs, Did you get him from the BuildaChaRActer Shop?

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 23:09

And for you, Massive, have just seen this on Twitter about Gizzy.

Particularly like this quote:

Furthermore, Robin Hood wore realistic (for television) twelfth century garb, while Guy was attired head to toe in leather. Twelfth century architecture was Gothic, but twelfth century noblemen did not dress like Goths. No, the only reason to dress Guy like a resident of Caldwell, New York was to make female viewers go ?Oh my God, he is SO HOT.?

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:22

He heh RH was a mad sort of show, when you think. Love the quote. And the tactics worked a treat, I have to say.Grin

But... I have just been reading a Bernard Cornwell book in which this medieval type guy is being dressed in breeches and jerkin of softest doeskin, that has been specially made for him by a tailor in London. Ye Belstaffe, one presumes. That made me Grin because BC is very careful with his research.

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 23:30

Which BC are you reading? I've got one that he co-wrote with a female author but have only flicked through it so far.

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:35

It's the one about Agincourt.

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:38

Fought on St Crispin's Day of course Smile

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 23:44

Ah, said knowingly but having not studied history at school know precisely bugger all about it. In fact it took me the duration on typing out and correcting that sentence to realise why you mentioned St Crispin's Day - blonde!!!

The one I've got is 'A Crowning Mercy'

Probably ought to have a crack at it now I've finished Far From the Madding Crowd. Was going to read 'One Day' but can't find my copy.

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:51

Most of the history I know I learned from Jean Plaidy novels Grin School managed to make interesting stuff boring.

I was after some robust male type dialogue to pinch for my scribbling, that's partly why I was reading it. its a pain not being able it hear it around you. At least in the correct lingo, i would do just fine for robust Islandish.

DumSpiroSpero · 17/08/2011 23:53

Would you like me to bug the dining room during Mr Spiro's cards night on Saturday and send you a tape? Grin

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:55

Going back to that Twitter article, realistic 12th century garb for Bobbin, WTF?? mud coloured hoodies???

Must be heading off. Again, I loved the Twigs story, it was so well done, and it was so kind of her to let me peek.

Night all.

SupermassiveLBD · 17/08/2011 23:57

If you can get Lucas to help you with the set-up, Spiro. then we'd both be quids in. Grin

SupermassiveLBD · 18/08/2011 11:25

Yawn! I got up late, but I am still yawning my head off. maybe it's a reaction becaue I have so much to do today. How's everyone else? Cooler, and less busy, i hope.

DumSpiroSpero · 18/08/2011 11:35

Lucky you, Massive. I staggered downstairs at 7am, but had DD bouncing on the bed, pulling the covers off, channel hopping and nagging from about 5.45am (Mr S had an early start & she woke up too Angry). She was in and out to us in the night as well - always walks right round the bed to get in with me and wakes me up.

Am getting extremely fed-up with it tbh, but I was a lousy sleeper too so I don't really feel I can get too cross with her. She knows I'll be in a foul mood until I've been up for an hour so she probably suffers enough Blush.

Have spent the morning mostly doing her homework (or as she says "It's learning at home mummy - you're supposed to do it for me help me").

Hey ho!

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