Peter Andre gives me the creeps.

[GetOrf]

'i really really love my kids'

No shit sherlock, you are supposed to.

I can't be the only one who thinks he is a passive aggressive weirdo, surely.

OOOOH, can we please all collectively arrange a PA mumsnet meet up jamboree,we can all buy a tickert for his concert in Rhyl or wherever and each have pink 'PETER ANDRE IS A CUNT' t shirts.

Please say yes.

Look, just f..f....fff...ffff....f.ff...fucking fuck off would you?

Waaaaahhhhhh! :(

I am THERE, GetOrf.

Come on down, you can kip at mine.

This is what he has to say about the Crealy gig:

Commenting on headlining the inaugural event, Peter Andre said: ?I can?t wait to take to the stage at Devon?s Crealy as the South West is a beautiful part of the country. I have a loyal following of fans in Devon and I am hoping that a few extra will travel from further a field to see me. I will certainly be treating my fans to a great show and am looking forward to giving them a night to remember!?

If that's not a MN invite, I don't know what is. I am puffing up my giant inflatable cock as we speak.

Right, , Sue I am coming, baby.

I have my glittery cock deeley boppers at the ready. And they are purple, no less.

Joke? Noo, open house here. Course, you'll have to sleep in the special room I keep for my Queen Mother and Dire Straits memorabilia. People say the eyes follow you but I think that's silly talk.

Did you get your purple cocks from Claire's Accessories? I need some.

Ann Bummers, mate. I don't think they do glittery cock paraphernalia in Claire's. Perhaps they should consider it. Widen their market and that.

mmm. Piercings, Hello Kitty shit and glittery knobs.

My pocket money is so spent.

Crealy? Fucking Crealy Park in Devon? Is that where he has his gigs the fucking big nob. It's not exactly headlining at Glastonbury is it, or the 02 arena, or actually a proper pop venue?

Crealy Park is a kiddy farm and soft play area, with great slides.

Whatever next? Peter Andre (supported by Steps, Samantha Mumba and the Cardigans*) play Cotswold Safari Park? Flamingoland? Gnome World?

• sponsored by Pilsbury Dough Boy and assorted bread products

What do you reckopn PA's rider is?

Mirrors. Lots and lots of mirrors.
Doughnuts, chip butties, Reese's Pieces.
Bumper pack senokot and salty water.
A bath in which to sit and cry and cry and cry

"Whatever next? Peter Andre (supported by Steps, Samantha Mumba and the Cardigans*) play Cotswold Safari Park? Flamingoland? Gnome World?"

You're describing Sue's perfect weekend there

YY, it's Crealy's first festival thing. Glasto it aint.

Steps were way better than Peter Andre. H was a towering comic genius and the other one was there too. He'd have to support them. With his two fecking songs.

What do you reckopn PA's rider is?

Mirrors. Lots and lots of mirrors.
Doughnuts, chip butties, Reese's Pieces.
Bumper pack senokot and salty water.
A bath in which to sit and cry and cry and cry

Stop, am on the floor again.

Mirrors for sure. Waxing strips and magnifying mirrors.Snakeskin stilettos (size eleven). Madonna's SEX book. Wet look gel (3 litres)

I reckon ii could still do the moves from Tragedy.

Actually, who am I kidding. I know I can.

Look at the cracking venues:

Fri 1st Jul 2011 Peter Andre Haigh Hall - Wigan - Greater Manchester
Sat 2nd Jul 2011 Peter Andre Fontwell Park Racecourse - Sussex
Wed 6th Jul 2011 Peter Andre Kempton Park Racecourse -
Sun 10th Jul 2011 Peter Andre, Ip-art Festival 2011 Christchurch Park - Ipswich
Sun 7th Aug 2011 Peter Andre Lake Meadows Park - Essex
Sat 13th Aug 2011 Peter Andre Crealy Adventure Park - Exeter
Sat 20th Aug 2011 Peter Andre Market Rasen Racecourse - Lincolnshire
Sat 27th Aug 2011 Peter Andre Newmarket Racecourse - Suffolk

September - matinee performance at Butlins (Minehead)
October - Hull Conservative Club's Autumn Jamboree
November - Take a Break's staff Christmas party
December - Creepy Santa in World Of Santas, Peterborough

Thai beads
Lube. Lotsa lube
Anglepoise mirror

I deeply love everyone on this thread

Can't believe he isn't coming to Yarmouth.

Our racecourse not good enough for you, Pete?

Borat's mankini. In hot pink and black.

You forgot the large tub of creosote for that lovely natural patina.

He's not coming to Cheltenham racecourse either.

Mind you we get Kiri te Kanawa. Different league, Pete, different league.

Foundwanting - that's a v good point. What's with all the fecking racecourses? Is he singing to horses? Jockeys?

Or are people paying to watch him steeplechase naked, singing Insania and being chased by Oompa Loompas brandishing whips and copies of KP's bank statements? If so I'll come.

January - Pets at Home (Stockport)
February - TJ Hughes (Coventry)
March - Rhyl Sun centre

"Or are people paying to watch him steeplechase naked, singing Insania and being chased by Oompa Loompas brandishing whips and copies of KP's bank statements? If so I'll come."

April - Auntie Mavis' House